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to 'flaunt' my happiness?

(16 Posts)
AmigoShamigo Fri 14-Feb-14 14:22:37

I was in an utterly miserable abusive marriage a few years ago. My mum was mentally ill and abusive for the entirety of my childhood. My dp had an unhappy marriage and his wife cheated. We've now been together for almost five years and are blissfully happy. I was speaking to mil about Valentines day today on the phone while my sister was here. I told mil how dp had left a rose, teddy and chocolate in the car each to surprise the kids and flowers, chocolates and a card for me. I said the kids had made him a huge card and banner, a heart shaped cake etc and that they're Making a menu for a love themed dinner tonight to have by candlelight and surprise him after work. Mil asked me to put a photo on facebook and I said I would. After the call my sister said I should think before 'flaunting' my happiness, that it's a bit sickening and not fair on people who are unhappy. Aibu?

TheListingAttic Fri 14-Feb-14 14:25:35

Of course not. Anyone who gets in a conniption about Facebook postings is U.

attheendoftheday Fri 14-Feb-14 14:25:44

Doing it is fine, but putting it on facebook is crass imo.

HoratiaDrelincourt Fri 14-Feb-14 14:27:02

Sharing the photo with your MIL who loves you both and cares about the state of your relationship is fine, lovely even.

But plastering "I am sooooo spoilt, look at all my wonderful presents, I heart my shmoopsie-poo soooo much xxx" to all your old schoolfriends, colleagues and neighbours is a bit unnecessary, isn't it? Nothing about jealousy, just smacks of oneupmanship or desperation or showing off.

When I'm being soppy, pfb or similar I post to a restricted group on FB, so the aforementioned world and his wife don't see it. Would that be an option?

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord Fri 14-Feb-14 14:28:55

Put it on Facebook.

I hate valentines but I'm not opposed to others who enjoy.

I'm sure your friends will be a mix bag too Xx

CailinDana Fri 14-Feb-14 14:29:05

Yanbu at all. Celebrate your happiness. Anyone who thinks you're "crass" doesn't need to be friends with you on fb.

HyvaPaiva Fri 14-Feb-14 14:29:31

I prefer being quietly, privately blissful with my DP. Our relationship and romance is not for other people's consumption.

WooWooOwl Fri 14-Feb-14 14:33:16

I don't really get the valentines boasting that goes on over Facebook despite the fact that I generally like seeing other people being happy on there, and I think it's a bit weird that your mil needs to see the pre cursor to your valentines sex specifically on Facebook. If she does Facebook, presumably she also does email and you could email her a picture if she's that keen to share.

I don't think that sharing your own happiness on Facebook is unfair on those who aren't happy though, that's just daft.

Freddiefrog Fri 14-Feb-14 14:33:40


I only have friends and family on FB, they would be happy I'm happy. Same as I'm happy for them when they're happy. If I thought they were being 'crass' I'd be having a word with myself

CouldDoWithABrew Fri 14-Feb-14 14:41:12

YANBU if it's a one-off. It gets a bit annoying if it's constantly being shoved in folk's faces. (See my AIBU thread about friends posting about DP's on FB). Maybe that's just cos IBU about my friend posting about their relationships on FB. When they genuinely AREN'T happy.

Tbh honest, it's not really right to begrudge anyone being happy so fair play to you

Mouthfulofquiz Fri 14-Feb-14 15:25:05

What a lovely man!!! All of that sounds very sweet. I don't believe everyone should have to tone down their happiness to suit others. Being sensitive - yes, but if you aren't allowed to say that you are happy and in love when you are .... Well how bloody miserable is that??

StrangeGlue Fri 14-Feb-14 15:32:44

Sod em! You're happy whack it on Facebook if you want.

nkf Fri 14-Feb-14 15:35:04

Isn't Facebook especially busy this time of year?

WorraLiberty Fri 14-Feb-14 15:37:24

Surely the world and his lover are uploading this sort of thing all over FB?

Just do it, it's got nothing to do with your Sister.

Trills Fri 14-Feb-14 15:38:04


IF you have that kind of mindset then posting anything on Facebook ever is either attention-seeking or boasting or both.

Callani Fri 14-Feb-14 15:39:22

Don't let it get to you - if you frequently made declarations of love on facebook I'd think she had a point but as a one off it's fine. And enjoy your valentine's evening!

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