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to think she's jealous that I'm single?

(13 Posts)
ThroughTheTrees Fri 14-Feb-14 00:48:43

Went out for drinks on Saturday for my birthday with 6 friends. First bar we went into one friend bumped into one guy who she had previously worked with and his friend. I was chatting with his friend and just having a bit of banter.

I went to toilet and my friend grabbed me and said she just had to tell me that her and that man kissed (like 3/4 years ago) and therefore he was "sloppy seconds". Which apparently she kept repeating the whole time I was talking to him to the group of friends.

Also apparently it was horrible of me to talk to his friend as this meant my other friend felt she had to speak with her ex work colleague so he would have someone to talk to. (Other friend never said this to me, this was just an assumption made by said friend)

We went to another bar (just the friendship group), drinks chatted and then went to the third. I was in a very merry mood and feeling confident and I did end up getting chatted up by a couple of guys who I ended up talking to at the bar, bought me a couple of drinks etc- definitely not a common occurrence. (I am very hard on myself and do think of myself as a gremlin but my resolution this year was to just be happy with myself, so just trying to be more confident and out there.)

Another single friend was chatting up a guy, the rest were having fun dancing away. I did chat to the guys for a while, bit hard to remember because I was a little drunk but I was having fun and not hurting anyone and the rest of my friends were also having fun.

Said friend then said - "Is Trees even here tonight?!" - As in I had done something wrong by chatting to these guys.

She did say to my friend that night that she misses being single (she is currently engaged).

Obviously the grass is always greener sort of thing. Being single has its bonuses and being in a good relationship has its bonuses. I sometimes feel sad and even a little jealous that I don't have someone or spend times with a friend and her partner, but I have had toxic relationships in the past so I am very happy to be in a good place now.

Aibu to think there was no need for the bitchy comments even if you are slightly jealous of someone being single? Or did I do something wrong and these comments were fairplay?

(Sorry it's so long, just trying not to drip-feed)

theimposter Fri 14-Feb-14 00:55:33

No she is BU and stopping you from talking to an ex's friend from 3 years ago is pathetic. Enjoy your single life and good for you for getting some attention and being in a good place about yourself. Heading for the single life myself after a disastrous pre Valentines meal tonight and now in spare room! So yes; they are probably just jealous and being arses. Grass is always greener as they say!

pricklyPea Fri 14-Feb-14 04:11:55

She probably shouldn't have made a scene about the first situation unless there's some underlying issue there for her. Perhaps she was just trying to warn you off because she knew he was no good?

The second situation I'm torn as it does sound like you were chatting for a while if you managed to get two drinks bought. I can sort of understand if you go out as a girls night and then someone is more interested in looking for men but that's just me.

MsAspreyDiamonds Fri 14-Feb-14 05:04:55

Cut her out of your life and surround yourelf with good positive friends.

Chottie Fri 14-Feb-14 05:17:05

Very odd behaviour, she does sound a bit jell to me too.

SparklyTwinkleGlitter Fri 14-Feb-14 05:26:31

She just sounds rather immature to me.

I'm guessing you're all quite young though?

All my girlfriends are married with kids, so we probably would be too busy yakking with each other to even notice any blokes, to be honest. blush

sadbodyblue Fri 14-Feb-14 06:25:14

she sounds silly. take no notice or call her out and ask her what she meant.

however if you were all merry then forget it.

MsLT Fri 14-Feb-14 06:46:53

Bit of both OP. I don't think I'd expect one of the group I go out with spend half the night with men (they don't know) at the bar. You go out with friends to be with them surely?

Her bitchy comments may have been in reaction to you
a)dumping your friends to chat to strangers.
Ot
b) She feels uncomfortable/ embarrasssed that she has some sort of history with one of these men.

MsLT Fri 14-Feb-14 06:49:49

OP, I'm not 20 though grin maybe splitting up from friends to chat to random blokes is what you do when you're young? I've forgotten...

pussycatdoll Fri 14-Feb-14 06:51:56

I think if you're out looking for a dalliance grin
it's best to go with other single friends
Otherwise you neglect the friends you're with in favour of chatting up men

HairyGrotter Fri 14-Feb-14 07:36:34

I'm engaged, I go out with my single mates, and I think 'oi oi' when they're off chatting blokes up or being chatted up. I rather enjoy just being out and about, having fun, dancing, drinking. I don't go out with mates to stick by them all night, they are all grown women.

Your friend does sound jealous, I'd just crack on with my life and enjoy it smile

RufusTheReindeer Fri 14-Feb-14 10:06:28

I doubt she is jealous of you being single, she may be jealous that she is not. Slightly different in my mind

However if you are out with a group I don't think YABU, if it was just the two of you that might be a bit different but in a group? You crack on and enjoy yourself!!!

DracoMalfoysHairGel Fri 14-Feb-14 10:43:26

She's jealous of the attention you were getting . If she is a true friend then she should be pleased you are having fun.

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