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To think that this is way too long to eat a meal?

(45 Posts)
Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 19:52:20

We sat down for tea at 6.45pm, too late but I get back from work really late on Thursdays and that can't be helped.

It's a meal that ds likes, and not a big meal it's on a child sized plate. It's now 7.50 and he's still at the table eating,

WaffilyVersatile Thu 13-Feb-14 19:53:55

it depends on how old he is I suppose and whether he makes a habit of it?

CrohnicallyFarting Thu 13-Feb-14 19:54:18

That does sound like a long time! How old is DS? Is he always this slow, or could it be because it's late and he's tired? Or gone past the hungry stage?

DD is 1 and can take up to an hour for a meal- but that includes cleanup time and a pudding.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 19:54:25

Sorry he's 5.

Tweasels Thu 13-Feb-14 19:57:23

Why is it taking so long? Is he actively eating or is he daydreaming or talking a lot?

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 19:57:27

I'm not sure to be honest I'm more conscious of it because I'm very aware he should be in bed (he's in bath now).

Do you know what it is, he daydreams, he's not eating he's playing. He does it when he's supposed to be brushing his teeth he stands there singing and dancing, chewing the toothbrush.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 19:58:50

Cross post tweasels he's daydreaming/playing.

stella69x Thu 13-Feb-14 20:02:21

When mine were young I set limits, counted down, then removed food when time was up. Iirc only 1 or 2 meals were removed before they had "finished"

harticus Thu 13-Feb-14 21:28:19

My DS is the slowest eater I have ever encountered. An hour can slip by very easily.
The rest of us shovel it in like we're in a race.
My son hums whilst he's chewing - and doodles, fidgets. chats.
I am not going to nag him into eating faster - it is who he is - but it can be bloody frustrating.

I thought that if he started having hot meals at school that it might speed him up a bit. It didn't.
Apparently he will sit there quite happily on his own munching away and humming whilst all the other kids have long finished their dinner and are out playing.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 21:45:31

I was getting really stressed because I didn't want to put him to bed on a full tummy. But it was getting so late. He's ended up not having his book read to him, not as a telling off but simply because it had got too late. So I feel awful.

Thinking about it though he does it with everything, getting distracted, singing, playing, chatting, I don't mind he's just being a child, drives me crazy when we're in a rush. Even going for a poo takes him half an hour as he sits swinging his legs and singing on the toilet.

How on earth do you get children to hurry up?

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 21:47:21

In the mornings everything has to be a race as it works, so we race to get dressed, race to put our coats and shoes on.

If he only knew I actually want him to win the race.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 21:48:19

I'm not sure an eating dinner race is a great idea, I can see food issues come from that!

Redcliff Thu 13-Feb-14 21:56:36

We have had so many meals like this. There is this thing in Italy called the slow food movement and we use to joke that our DS invented it. We would just wait for him to finish and sometimes it would mean a slightly later bedtime and we would shorten bath time. He is still slow at so many other things ( we "race " to get dressed in the morning) but keen to not make food an issue so its just one of those things .

shouldnthavesaid Thu 13-Feb-14 22:00:10

Dinner races are a terrible idea. Been there, done that, and threw up pea green spew all over my aunt's spare room, hallway, bathroom..

After 30 mins I would remove the meal after a warning (say warning at 15 mins maybe)..

MyNameIsKenAdams Thu 13-Feb-14 22:01:14

Where is he til you get in from work? Can he have tea there?

trashcanjunkie Thu 13-Feb-14 22:06:15

Is it possible that taking his time over things is a source of 'power' for your dc? Not even deliberately, just, a kind of habit that has formed? It sounds like you might be running on a tightish schedule, and perhaps this is his way of exerting some control. I agree with the other poster who say manage his dinner time, but in a relaxed manner, and then remove the plate after an agreed time. What does your dc sya about his behaviour? Is he aware of his dawdling way? If it helps I have a half-hour poo boy too grin

treaclesoda Thu 13-Feb-14 22:10:47

I know a child like this, it can take him an hour and a half to eat half a slice of toast. Have no idea what to do about it though, and I know it really upsets his parents that something so simple is so difficult for him, but wanted you to know you're not alone.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 22:16:50

We're only on a tight schedule on Thursdays really as I work late.

In the morning I get up at half 6 for a coffee, wake him up at 7, we don't need to leave until 8.30 for school. But it's 20 minutes to eat breakfast, 20 minutes to have a poo, 10 minutes to brush his teeth by which point I end up yelling that the toothbrush isn't a microphone and isn't to chew on. Then he gets upset because I've yelled, he's not too bad getting dressed but has started to keep going to the sink to wet and spike his hair? He even takes a long time stepping out of the car!

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 22:19:34

When I say he's being too slow/we need to hurry he says he needs to take his time to eat/get dressed/brush teeth.

DoJo Thu 13-Feb-14 22:30:33

I am the slowest eater and I could see me doing this - not deliberately, but for some reason I seem to need to chew my food much more than other people do, can't eat things when they are too hot (put this down to not drinking tea or coffee - my mouth hasn't been desensitised) and sometimes just because everyone else had left the table and I was bored on my own so would faff about trying to liven things up for myself!
I honestly wouldn't worry about putting him to bed on a full tummy though, unless he has other digestive issues - I did it every day for practically my whole childhood and it never made me ill.

CrohnicallyFarting Thu 13-Feb-14 22:31:44

If it's only a problem on Thursdays, could you alter anything to make it easier?

Where is he before you get home from work? Would it be possible for him to eat there- even just an afternoon tea type thing so he could have a lighter meal when you get home?

Do you ensure that dinner is ready as soon as you get in instead of having to cook? Thinking slow cooker, or prepared meals to microwave.

Is there any meal he is quicker to eat? Maybe something that can be eaten with his hands like pizza?

In the mornings, could you use something like a sand timer for each stage so he can see how much time he has left? So maybe a 15 minute timer, turn it once for him to eat breakfast, once for his poo, once to brush teeth/do hair, once to get dressed. (Obviously only if you're sure he's just messing and doesn't need longer to eat or poo) and a reward for sticking to the time (like a sticker chart) or consequence if he doesn't (eg once he's ready he could watch TV so overrunning means less TV time).

PavlovtheCat Thu 13-Feb-14 22:34:05

oh he sounds lovely! Sorry, that doesn't help when you are in a rush, but what a delightful little boy!

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 22:41:00

Unfortunately he can't eat as he's in an after school care. On Thursdays we have freezer food/pre prepared day so tonight was scampi wedges and peas so 15 minutes in the oven. Problem is I don't get in until well gone 6.

Timer in the morning sounds great he'd think that was quite fun, he's just such a dolly daydream, he can concentrate when it's something he's really interested in so play lego or colour in for hours without a peep, I guess dinner, toilet, getting ready are boring to him.

Funny thing is he didn't used to be this slow he was quicker when he was a toddler.

Dollslikeyouandme Thu 13-Feb-14 22:46:55

He is Pavlov I know I'm biased but he is great.

Just annoying when he's playing diving men with two potato wedges and a beaker of water.

TheScience Thu 13-Feb-14 22:52:57

We use a timer for DS - he gets 15 minutes after everyone else is finished.

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