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Valentines & a row!

(29 Posts)
skyblu Thu 13-Feb-14 18:52:10

Hi, haven't been on here for years, but really need a sounding board...

Husband did something on Monday which made me furious. Had a bit of row, haven;t been speaking, he totally knows how mad I am. Long story and deep, not a quick thing that will 'blow over'.
Wednesday, he comes home from work very early with a bouquet of my favourite flowers for Valentines Day. I asked why he is home so early and he said he needed to get the to florist to pick the flowers up before they closed.
I told him he is 2 days early but he said he'll prob be busy on Friday might not be able to get out.

1. Is it actually really sweet that he got them early to ensure he could get them (& he knows he is in the wrong, trying to butter me up quicker)
2. Is it even worse that he gets them two days early incase he's 'too busy' on valentines day...knows how to make a girl feel special...not! Last of the old romantics!

I'm feeling 2....but wondering if I'm overlooking 1/being harsh.

How would you feel?

YellowDinosaur Thu 13-Feb-14 18:53:49

Honestly? I think you're being massively high maintenance and should be thanking him for the lovely flowers not reading negative things into them.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 13-Feb-14 18:53:58


It solely depends on whether the actual argument can be resolved.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Feb-14 18:54:59

If it was my DH I would be going with option 1.

If he knows he has a busy day on Friday then he is making sure that he doesn't disappoint you/let you down.

It all depends what the row was though, and whether he is generally a decent guy and a good husband, or whether the row was one in a long line and he is an arse.

Only you know which it is!

Electryone Thu 13-Feb-14 18:55:52

Flowers are irrelevant really as Laurie said.

skyblu Thu 13-Feb-14 18:56:35

Hmm...maybe I should've told you what he did to me to make me so mad. But its such a long story.
I'm not a high maintenance person...generally.
But happy to accept all opinions......keep em coming

YellowDinosaur Thu 13-Feb-14 18:59:29

Yes, it is possible that the whole story would change my opinion but I can obviously only go on what you have posted!

CuttingOutTheCrap Thu 13-Feb-14 19:03:31

Ali is right. If it were my Dh I'd think it was lovely he went early to get me flowers, and be sympathetic that he had to work late on the Friday. But it really depends on what your row was about, how your relationship is generally etc

justmyview Thu 13-Feb-14 19:07:38

Re the flowers, I'd go for Option 1 and give him the benefit of the doubt

If it's part of an apology / trying to be nice, I'd give him credit for that, but if he did something so terrible, then it'll take more than flowers to make up for it

SeaSickSal Thu 13-Feb-14 19:34:25

I think you have to say what it was. Because at the moment YABU.

It gives the impression that if you get cross over this the argument could have been trivial too, except for in your mind.

Mckayz Thu 13-Feb-14 19:36:46

I'd be happy he had got them early as he knows he'll probably be busy. Better than getting nothing at all.

Hawkmoth Thu 13-Feb-14 19:39:35

Busy constructive or busy pissing it up without you?

Bluemonkeyspots Thu 13-Feb-14 19:44:16

I'm too nosy and need to know what you argued about blush

maras2 Thu 13-Feb-14 19:48:02

If he did something so bad that you're still not very happy then no amount of Valentine's stuff will help. However if you can still be a mardy arse after his attempt to be nice you both should grow up and talk. Good luck.

HoneyDragon Thu 13-Feb-14 19:49:50

If you don't know whether the flowers are an apology or just because it's the done thing than you still need to talk.

bodygoingsouth Thu 13-Feb-14 19:56:02

what did he do? obviously we can't judge if you don't tell.

WitchWay Thu 13-Feb-14 19:58:29

He was a bit daft saying they were for Valentine's Day - they ought to have just been a lovely gift or an apology or whatever. He ought then to have got something else for V's Day - wine, chocs, whatever & given them to you tomorrow. Men!

Puttheshelvesup Thu 13-Feb-14 20:00:20

Have you not been speaking to him, him to you, or is it a mutual not speaking? It sounds a very sulky and passive aggressive. Maybe he's trying to move forward with the dispute?

dreamingbohemian Thu 13-Feb-14 20:03:26

What is he doing Friday?

Without more info it could be either 1 or 2

BillyBanter Thu 13-Feb-14 20:09:38

I think with regards to resolving the argument then flowers sooner rather than later is better. What would you think if you weren't talking for several days then he gave you flowers on Valentines day. You could work that up into a thing too.

Who knows. It's not really much to go on.

I'd say them important thing is to to keep talking and resolve the argument rather than worry about Valentines day.

Fairenuff Thu 13-Feb-14 20:12:07

We need to know what he did that upset you. And what his doing instead of seeing you on Friday.

MaryWestmacott Thu 13-Feb-14 20:14:08

I think it's nice he was aware he might have to let you down on Valentines day, he's thought about it two days in advance and rather than risk it, has gone with getting the flowers early rather than risking having to get them late.

So, what did he do to piss you off to justify being still prickly about it 3 days later?

NewtRipley Thu 13-Feb-14 20:16:37

I think It All Depends

NewtRipley Thu 13-Feb-14 20:17:51

I don't think rows should fester on for 3 days though. Valentines is neither here nor there, IMO. It only seems to cause stress for people who are already having problems

Only1scoop Thu 13-Feb-14 20:24:22

To be honest I can't myself stand the tackiness of v day, however I can sort of see where you are coming from.

Either he knows they get more expensive on the actual day so he thought he'd get it covered early.confused

There's an atmosphere and he thought the flowers would lift it <didn't want to wait til fri>smile

Just has to genuinely work late fri and won't have time to pick them upsmile

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