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AIBU?

To say I'm not Bothered about valentines day but secretly would like it if OH made an effort for me

23 replies

Hotmad · 13/02/2014 17:16

We been together 10 years and we used to celebrate the old V day and do cards and pressies but last couple years it's got less meaning to us and we just exchange cards and maybe have a nice dinner.
Ok so this year, I've got a 2 month old first baby and I feel like maybe it would have been nice for him to think of me and how hard the last 2 months Have been and maybe spoil me a bit but no today he found out I got him a little gift and card and he was like oh I thought it was
Next week, followed by can we pop in Sainsburys so I told him not to worry about it.
For those of you thinking maybe he will surprise me, he won't, he genuinely hasn't got me anything.
How many of you do the V day thing?

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DipMeInChocolate · 13/02/2014 17:23

I'd love to be surprised with anything. Its not going to happen unfortunately.

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Joysmum · 13/02/2014 17:25

We just do a card but have never done valentines day because we do loads without waiting for a specific day. We don't feel the need to and prefer to do a special anniversary instead which is in march.

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maggiemight · 13/02/2014 17:25

I am a 'not bothered' type about celebrations.

I have a friend who always does stuff for Valentines, birthdays, Xmas, wedding anniversary and, to be honest, I think I've missed out and been a bit of a misery.

Give him proper warning in future and plan something together.

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eltsihT · 13/02/2014 17:27

I had a proper strop 2 years ago about valentines day. We now have come to the agreement. He will buy me flowers and I will buy him chocolates.

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/02/2014 17:46

The thing is, if he thinks you aren't bothered then he won't do anything!

This is like someone asking you if you are alright, you say 'fine', but actually something is the matter. You cannot expect people to be psychic!

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Hotmad · 13/02/2014 17:58

The age old....the woman's says she's fine but really she's not! Ha ha

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/02/2014 18:27

Yes!

DH and I normal have a discussion towards the end of January when something about Valentines appears on the TV or whatever.

DH: Are we doing Valentines this year?

Me: No let's not bother, we'll just have a nice dinner.

Him: Ok.

End of.

If I wanted a fuss then I would say so, or he would. Grin

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MollyDoublyBarrely · 13/02/2014 18:32

II always say i'm not bothered in the hope that one valentines i will actually get a whopping great surprise Grin

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.... Hmm

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TallyGrenshall · 13/02/2014 18:36

I never do anything.

Every year DP gets me a card and something little (this year it's a Legolas figure - it fell out of his bag)

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RighteousSausage · 13/02/2014 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyndaCartersBigPants · 13/02/2014 20:10

Maggiemight, give him proper warning?! Aren't the shops full of red and pink hearts and all the tv adverts for special meals enough of a hint?

After a few years I suppose all the birthdays, anniversaries and valentines days might lose the novelty, but I think it's sad if a couple can't make the effort once in a while.

XH and I never bothered with valentines or anniversaries, he convinced me it was a load of commercial crap and that he could buy me flowers some other time rather than being told to etc. (funnily enough it never happened any other day either!)

If he usually makes a fuss of you on your anniversary or birthday then I'd let it go, but it couldn't hurt to mention that you feel disappointed about missing out.

Tell him that you hadn't realised that actually it IS important to you to celebrate your relationship, especially given that you spend a lot of time being 'a mum' at the moment and that cherishing each other will help you both to keep things special.

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trashcanjunkie · 13/02/2014 20:48

If you don't ask you don't get I'm afraid.... I made it very clear to dp that I was into celebrating valentines/birthday/anniversary and he is rather sentimental himself so we both enjoy each others little surprises. I will even drop hints blatantly tell him what it is I would really love, for example, there are a big fat bunch of roses and lillies in my vase on the dining table right now, due to me saying 'ooh I just love it when you buy me lillies and roses, they are my favourite' (I do it in advance so I can 'forget' I've said anything and be all surprised and delighted when they appear Grin)

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Lucyccfc · 13/02/2014 21:00

Poor man - he's not a mind reader. If you keep saying you are not bothered, then he will take you at face value and not get you anything.

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Uprising · 13/02/2014 21:19

You can have my valentines present if you like!!

We've been married 23 years, we've never celebrated valentines, until this year. DH began telling me in Jan he'd bought me a Valentines present. The girls he works with told him the present was horrible, so he sheepishly gave it to me early.

Just why he thought it would be something I'd wear I do not know.

wearable planter

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FlossieTreadlight · 13/02/2014 21:25

Uprising, that just made me spit my tea out. Thank you for sharing Smile

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Wuxiapian · 13/02/2014 21:28

My DP and I have never celebrated it.

Although, tonight he asked me if there was a jeweller on the high street...

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Madmammy83 · 13/02/2014 21:28

You told him not to worry about it. So why would he worry about it? Jesus. People baffle me.

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starfishmummy · 13/02/2014 21:32

We would celebrate valentines day if I arranged it. Same as doing.something for birthdays. Just once in a while I would like to do something nice that someone else arranged!!
But it just never occurs to "someone".

Gave up thinking it would years ago really but there is still that little wish...

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TooOldForGlitter · 13/02/2014 21:33

A wearable planter! Grin

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Uprising · 13/02/2014 21:47

I've just informed DH I've shared his pressie on MN. His response 'oh no, why?'! Grin

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LyndaCartersBigPants · 13/02/2014 21:51

Ah uprising I think that's really sweet! I'd plant something fragrant like mint or thyme to waft up my nostrils through the day.

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Hotmad · 13/02/2014 22:12

Hahaha I've never ever seen nor heard of a wearable planter!! Hats off for originality!
I know I said I'm not bothered and it's not going to be a problem or anything, it would be nice though if he didn't ask for me to say don't worry, I'm not really type of person who asks for presents.

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trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2014 17:11

oh but it's so cute and tiny - I think I'd like a charm bracelet of them Grin

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