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To say I'm not Bothered about valentines day but secretly would like it if OH made an effort for me

(24 Posts)
Hotmad Thu 13-Feb-14 17:16:15

We been together 10 years and we used to celebrate the old V day and do cards and pressies but last couple years it's got less meaning to us and we just exchange cards and maybe have a nice dinner.
Ok so this year, I've got a 2 month old first baby and I feel like maybe it would have been nice for him to think of me and how hard the last 2 months Have been and maybe spoil me a bit but no today he found out I got him a little gift and card and he was like oh I thought it was
Next week, followed by can we pop in Sainsburys so I told him not to worry about it.
For those of you thinking maybe he will surprise me, he won't, he genuinely hasn't got me anything.
How many of you do the V day thing?

DipMeInChocolate Thu 13-Feb-14 17:23:57

I'd love to be surprised with anything. Its not going to happen unfortunately.

Joysmum Thu 13-Feb-14 17:25:06

We just do a card but have never done valentines day because we do loads without waiting for a specific day. We don't feel the need to and prefer to do a special anniversary instead which is in march.

maggiemight Thu 13-Feb-14 17:25:22

I am a 'not bothered' type about celebrations.

I have a friend who always does stuff for Valentines, birthdays, Xmas, wedding anniversary and, to be honest, I think I've missed out and been a bit of a misery.

Give him proper warning in future and plan something together.

eltsihT Thu 13-Feb-14 17:27:19

I had a proper strop 2 years ago about valentines day. We now have come to the agreement. He will buy me flowers and I will buy him chocolates.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Feb-14 17:46:14

The thing is, if he thinks you aren't bothered then he won't do anything!

This is like someone asking you if you are alright, you say 'fine', but actually something is the matter. You cannot expect people to be psychic!

Hotmad Thu 13-Feb-14 17:58:31

The age old....the woman's says she's fine but really she's not! Ha ha

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Feb-14 18:27:55


DH and I normal have a discussion towards the end of January when something about Valentines appears on the TV or whatever.

DH: Are we doing Valentines this year?

Me: No let's not bother, we'll just have a nice dinner.

Him: Ok.

End of.

If I wanted a fuss then I would say so, or he would. grin

MollyDoublyBarrely Thu 13-Feb-14 18:32:15

II always say i'm not bothered in the hope that one valentines i will actually get a whopping great surprise grin

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.... hmm

TallyGrenshall Thu 13-Feb-14 18:36:18

I never do anything.

Every year DP gets me a card and something little (this year it's a Legolas figure - it fell out of his bag)

RighteousSausage Thu 13-Feb-14 18:51:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyndaCartersBigPants Thu 13-Feb-14 20:10:50

Maggiemight, give him proper warning?! Aren't the shops full of red and pink hearts and all the tv adverts for special meals enough of a hint?

After a few years I suppose all the birthdays, anniversaries and valentines days might lose the novelty, but I think it's sad if a couple can't make the effort once in a while.

XH and I never bothered with valentines or anniversaries, he convinced me it was a load of commercial crap and that he could buy me flowers some other time rather than being told to etc. (funnily enough it never happened any other day either!)

If he usually makes a fuss of you on your anniversary or birthday then I'd let it go, but it couldn't hurt to mention that you feel disappointed about missing out.

Tell him that you hadn't realised that actually it IS important to you to celebrate your relationship, especially given that you spend a lot of time being 'a mum' at the moment and that cherishing each other will help you both to keep things special.

trashcanjunkie Thu 13-Feb-14 20:48:52

If you don't ask you don't get I'm afraid.... I made it very clear to dp that I was into celebrating valentines/birthday/anniversary and he is rather sentimental himself so we both enjoy each others little surprises. I will even drop hints blatantly tell him what it is I would really love, for example, there are a big fat bunch of roses and lillies in my vase on the dining table right now, due to me saying 'ooh I just love it when you buy me lillies and roses, they are my favourite' (I do it in advance so I can 'forget' I've said anything and be all surprised and delighted when they appear grin)

Lucyccfc Thu 13-Feb-14 21:00:54

Poor man - he's not a mind reader. If you keep saying you are not bothered, then he will take you at face value and not get you anything.

Uprising Thu 13-Feb-14 21:19:22

You can have my valentines present if you like!!

We've been married 23 years, we've never celebrated valentines, until this year. DH began telling me in Jan he'd bought me a Valentines present. The girls he works with told him the present was horrible, so he sheepishly gave it to me early.

Just why he thought it would be something I'd wear I do not know.

wearable planter

FlossieTreadlight Thu 13-Feb-14 21:25:36

Uprising, that just made me spit my tea out. Thank you for sharing smile

Wuxiapian Thu 13-Feb-14 21:28:51

My DP and I have never celebrated it.

Although, tonight he asked me if there was a jeweller on the high street...

Madmammy83 Thu 13-Feb-14 21:28:53

You told him not to worry about it. So why would he worry about it? Jesus. People baffle me.

starfishmummy Thu 13-Feb-14 21:32:02

We would celebrate valentines day if I arranged it. Same as doing.something for birthdays. Just once in a while I would like to do something nice that someone else arranged!!
But it just never occurs to "someone".

Gave up thinking it would years ago really but there is still that little wish...

TooOldForGlitter Thu 13-Feb-14 21:33:16

A wearable planter! <snort> grin

Uprising Thu 13-Feb-14 21:47:03

I've just informed DH I've shared his pressie on MN. His response 'oh no, why?'! grin

LyndaCartersBigPants Thu 13-Feb-14 21:51:27

Ah uprising I think that's really sweet! I'd plant something fragrant like mint or thyme to waft up my nostrils through the day.

Hotmad Thu 13-Feb-14 22:12:27

Hahaha I've never ever seen nor heard of a wearable planter!! Hats off for originality!
I know I said I'm not bothered and it's not going to be a problem or anything, it would be nice though if he didn't ask for me to say don't worry, I'm not really type of person who asks for presents.

trashcanjunkie Fri 14-Feb-14 17:11:38

oh but it's so cute and tiny - I think I'd like a charm bracelet of them grin <snorts>

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