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AIBU re this weekend?

(19 Posts)
AbiRoad Thu 13-Feb-14 12:17:19

So we had arranged to visit PILs this weekend. I get on well with them and they are very laid back. We would normally drive down Friday night (around 3 hours on a good traffic day) and back Sunday evening. It now looks lke I may need to work this weekend (happens occasionally but not regularly). it would not be the whole weekend, maybe a later finish on Friday and 2 or 3 hours each of Saturday and Sunday. Most of the work can be done remotely, but will need to be able to take phonecalls and receive emails on my blackberry. However, PILs house is quite remote and phone receiption is erratic at best. Their computer is also very slow, so what would take me 2 hours to do at home would take me may 3 or 4 there, and i would need to constantly worry about phone reception whihc will limit my movements. So I may not be able to go.
DH has said that he and the DC will go anyway. I am slightly miffed by this as I will be at a loose end at the weekend when not working, plus would be sad not to see DC (or DH) all weekend when I have had a busy week at work. I suppose there is also the Valentines Day thing.

If I cant go, would I be unreasonable to ask them to come back earlier on Sunday than they would normally do, or maybe not head down until Saturday morning so we can at least have a glass of champagne on Friday. Appreciate that woudl mean 2 long drives for them closer together, although they could actually go on the train as if there are just 3 of them PIL will have room in the car to collect them from the station, and give them a lift if they are going out for lunch or something.

Why can't you all just defer and go another weekend?

ohfourfoxache Thu 13-Feb-14 12:23:07

All go together Saturday morning - presumably you want to see pil too.

Will that give you enough time to do your work?

Alternatively is there anyone you could swap a weekend with?

LozzaCro Thu 13-Feb-14 12:27:12

I would enjoy the weekend to myself and, together, plan your own valentines day next weekend.

I don't think you should be miffed that they are still going - if the PIL's dont get to see the GC very often, its not fair to cancel or shorten their visit to see them.

Floralnomad Thu 13-Feb-14 12:31:00

TBH you sound a little bit 'needy' and yes YABU , let them enjoy their weekend and entertain yourself at home .

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 13-Feb-14 12:36:35

I would jump at the chance of a weekend by myself, but then I'm a grumpy old fart. grin

Could you maybe find somewhere near(ish) their house with better phone reception for 2-3 hours to do your work on Saturday and Sunday? That way you would still get to spend most of the weekend together.

ViviPru Thu 13-Feb-14 12:38:16

6 hour round trip to visit the PiLs or at a loose end at the weekend... not a tricky choice for me. But sympathise a bit OP as it sounds like your in-laws are pleasant enough and I get the whole V-day slant.

Ripe opportunity to accrue reasonableness brownie points via a bit of gracious "You go enjoy yourselves, I'll be fine"

sooperdooper Thu 13-Feb-14 12:40:32

YABU, it's not their fault you have to work, so I think you should either all go another weekend, or just let them go, surely you can entertain yourself for one weekend?

DustyBaubles Thu 13-Feb-14 12:42:05

It does seem a bit unreasonable for you to disrupt what could be a very pleasant weekend for the children and their grandparents because you have to work.

It's only one weekend, send them on their way.

They will get a lot out of a long weekend of fun with no guilt trips.

Don't send them off worrying about you being left out, and having to 'hurry' back because you might miss them.

SaucyJack Thu 13-Feb-14 12:43:46

I think YABU. I know my kids would be incredibly pissed off at having a weekend at nanny's cancelled at the last minute, so they could sit in the house in silence whilst I was taking work phone calls.

Joysmum Thu 13-Feb-14 12:45:55

YABU why should your DH and DC miss out?

WilsonFrickett Thu 13-Feb-14 12:48:24

I think it's a bit unfair to cancel the whole weekend because you have to work - why should DH, DCs and GPs miss out?

How I'd love hours of being at a loose end....

Panzee Thu 13-Feb-14 12:50:10

Nah, let them go and plan another weekend soon. They get the visit, the drive is better and you don't need to worry about work. Much less stress all round. smile

Pooka Thu 13-Feb-14 12:52:30

YABU purely because it sounds like absolute bliss to me to be at a loose end all weekend.

Funnyfoot Thu 13-Feb-14 12:54:15

YABU. Not there fault you have to work. PIL , DH and DC will either stay at home with you who will be working a lot of the time. Or they travel a long way for a reduced time. You see DH & DC everyday PIL don't.
Enjoy the weekend. Pamper yourself. Take some time out.

RedFocus Thu 13-Feb-14 12:55:13

YABU sorry though because I totally get the Valentines day thing.
Either you all go another weekend or they go as planned and you will have to entertain yourself I'm afraid.

Viviennemary Thu 13-Feb-14 12:58:54

The easiest thing surely would be to go another time when you didn't have to work.

AbiRoad Thu 13-Feb-14 13:03:44

I think we could go another weekend - PIL would not mind. But DH is keen to go so I have not asked them to defer, just wondered if they might shorten the trip a bit (none of this discussed in front of DC so they wont feel guilt tripped, although they would prefer to go a weekend when I was able to go I am sure).

But point taken that I should start looking at the positives of having some time to myself. Have a massage voucher to use, need some new boots etc. I may even be able to rustle up the odd friend for a glass of wine, although cant arrnage this until I have more of a feel for what I will need to do at the weekend work-wise (timing of when I can do my work is dependent on other people and not completely in my control).

Sixgeese Thu 13-Feb-14 13:07:48

YABU, DH is a teacher and this Valentines day evening, just like most Valentines days since before we got married, he is leading a school ski trip, and that isn't for the weekend but the whole of Half Term, leaving me at home with three DC aged 8 and under.

I just wish that he was only going for a weekend and taking the DC with him, it would be the best Valentines present he could give me. Bubble Baths without an audience, lazy mornings in bed with a book.

I think I might suggest he takes the DC for a weekend to visit his parents (also a 3 hour drive away) when he gets back!

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