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to think this woman was projecting all over me

(16 Posts)
stopprojecting Thu 13-Feb-14 06:22:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 13-Feb-14 06:38:33

I think she was making meaningless conversation, like you do with people you don't know but find yourself interacting with for whatever reason.

From your OP it sounds more as if you were the one, not projecting as such, but feeling some level of "I'll never wear that glittery boob tube again and I want to" grin

I think you should divorce the just-had-a-baby element, from the getting-rid-of-stuff-because-it's-no-longer-you-or-reminds-you-of-times-you-want-to-forget. You said yourself you didn't like the clothes. So, even without a newborn you'd have got rid, right?

I shouldn't overthink it really.

struggling100 Thu 13-Feb-14 08:39:41

I think she was projecting, but in the interests of showing you support and solidarity... most women struggle desperately at times in those early years, and hearing that there is an end to it can be a relief in challenging situations. smile A bit of fellow feeling, and being able to talk about these things publicly is probably a good thing on balance, even if you were actually fine!!

trampstamp Thu 13-Feb-14 08:43:47

Funniest fucking thread ever classic

BrownSauceSandwich Thu 13-Feb-14 08:46:32

Ha-ha grin She was a woman in a 2nd hand clothes shop, not the effing Pythia! Go get some new clothes that you actually like.

Funnyfoot Thu 13-Feb-14 08:51:20

Before mumsnet I wouldn't of considered this women's actions as projecting. I would of just thought she is a mother of 4 who has, at some point put her old life behind her and embarked on a new one. Which is a life experience. She probably thought at the time that she was going to be covered in sick and sticky stuff with no time to brush her hair forever. Turned out that was not true and she was expressing to you that she has been there, wore the sparkly boob tube and you do eventually stop being covered in ick and have time to brush your hair. smile

Balaboosta Thu 13-Feb-14 09:42:26

Think of it as a poignant moment in the tapestry of life.

GTA5MASTER Thu 13-Feb-14 10:21:05

Hehe same has happened to me. But by the time I could get back into my boob tube I looked like mutton dressed as lamb and so on eBay it went ;-)

Topaz25 Thu 13-Feb-14 11:24:34

She was a bit personal, in that situation I would've just wanted to sell the sodding clothes not analyse them and I would have been mortified. I don't like personal conversations with strangers. I would've loved to see her face if you'd told her one of the items reminded you of a one night stand, she might not have been as keen to romanticise them after that! Maybe she meant well and was trying to make you feel better but it backfired because you went in there feeling quite cheerful and came out nearly crying! Maybe she just didn't want to pay you!

stopprojecting Thu 13-Feb-14 11:28:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toomuchtooold Thu 13-Feb-14 11:49:52

YANBU I think. It's a stock line for mothers of young children. Like when I decided to take advantage of my mat leave/career break to grow out my dye job and see what my real hair looks like: for the first couple of months I kept getting these "early motherhood is hard, isn't it? We don't always have enough time for ourselves" sorts of comments off HVs etc.

Tupperwife Thu 13-Feb-14 11:55:59

Thank you BrownSauce for the classical mythology flashback. That's what motherhood gives me, proper enjoyment of a random cultural reference! And snot on my shoulder.

Mmmnotsure Thu 13-Feb-14 11:56:14

She was a woman in a 2nd hand clothes shop, not the effing Pythia!

Dahlen Thu 13-Feb-14 12:03:08

Oh bless you. flowers I remember the crisis of confidence I had after DTs when I went out for the first time and bumped into an old acquaintance in super-glamorous mode while I was stood there with baby sick on my shoulder.

No matter how much we repeat the mantra that it's who we are inside that counts, it's a rare woman indeed whose feelings of self worth aren't influenced at least in part by what she looks like. No one exists in a cultural vacuum.

I'd lay odds on the fact that you probably don't look anywhere near as 'mumsy' as you think you did – boutique workers tending to have much higher standards than most. You probably look absolutely fine and in the eyes of your nearest and dearest I'm sure you look absolutely great.

Why don't you use it as an excuse to get someone else to have the DC for a day so you can have a long, hot bath, get your hair done and generally pamper yourself. Or if that's not your thing (I hate going to the hairdresser and wouldn't set foot in a spa if you paid me - well depends how much I guess) just invite some friends round and drink wine.

If you want to be particularly proactive and sensible about it, you could embark on a new exercise regime I suppose, as this will help improve your appearance but more importantly raise your fitness and therefore make you feel good about yourself anyway.

I've completely missed the point of the OP in all this rambling. I guess the boutique owner was projecting to some degree because you'd have to understand what it's like to even think about it I guess.

stopprojecting Thu 13-Feb-14 13:11:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CumberCookie Thu 13-Feb-14 14:49:51

She sounds a prize arse, what gave her the right to talk to you like that?? I would be so angry

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