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To ask my friend to make a decision?

(8 Posts)
booksbooksandmorebooks Wed 12-Feb-14 16:58:03

First-time poster here, but I have been watching AIBU as everyone on the threads gives great advice so am giving it a go smile

(Young poster here!) I get the bus with a certain friend A every day. I have done so for about 3 years. She is lovely, and we get the bus home together too.
For the last half a year or so, she has chosen to take another bus which goes on a slightly different route to my own (so is not impossible for me to take but is slower and "goes round the houses" so can make me late) She takes this bus as another friend B does so, and there are one or two boys who get said bus that they enjoy staring at!
Recently friend A has been berating me with comments such as "oh, why don't you get the bus with me anymore?" or "are you getting bus B home today?".
How can I express to her that I am happy getting the bus route I have always got without offending her? She seems to assume that I am opting out of a journey with her, but to me it seems as if she chose to get the other bus. Today I tried to talk it through but all she said was "you never see me anymore, why don't you come home with me?" and "you are forcing me to choose between booksandmorebooks and friend B."

Any advice is appreciated, smile


WorraLiberty Wed 12-Feb-14 17:02:22

So after 3 years of getting a certain bus, she's changed to another one so she can stare at some boys?

Just tell her that she was the one who changed buses and the new one is slower?

It seems too simple, have I missed something? confused

hairypaws Wed 12-Feb-14 17:03:14

This is such a non issue. Just tell your friend this bus suits you better and tell her it's not a big deal for you and shouldn't be for her either. I'm guessing that you just want to get home at night the quickest way possible after a long day. I'd be the same but you could always travel with them one day a week or whatever, for a catch up.

TurnOffTheTv Wed 12-Feb-14 17:04:41

Is it the school bus?

booksbooksandmorebooks Wed 12-Feb-14 17:05:30

Thanks for your advice, I thought it wasn't a big issue either, until I started to guilt trip after all the "we are growing apart because you don't take my bus" comments. I will try and get through to her tomorrow.

booksbooksandmorebooks Wed 12-Feb-14 17:06:29

Not the school bus, unfortunately, public transport. I hate getting the bus back, there are some ruder younger children on the bus who think it is okay to talk about the other passengers, but there is really nothing I can do sad

ohfourfoxache Wed 12-Feb-14 17:07:25

Don't feel guilty! If it makes you late it just isn't worth it - leave her to it. She'll learn!

girlywhirly Wed 12-Feb-14 17:13:39

You just tell her 'The bus we used to take together is quicker and I need to get home as soon as poss' a perfectly valid reason. If you want to elaborate you could list all the jobs you need to do when you get home, or hobbies you would like to have that extra time for. You could turn her questions around on her, asking why she has a problem with it as you don't.

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