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Bloody nose! Was I unreasonable?

(67 Posts)
Hollyelf Wed 12-Feb-14 16:38:25

At the end of a playgroup (parents stay) session today another toddler ended up with a bloody nose apparently as a result of my toddler hitting him with a toy.

I didn't see it, I was running a group activity to occupy the children as parents tidied up. As soon as I realised something had happened and my toddler was involved I checked that the other child was ok, apologised, removed mine from the room, put his coat on to leave, returned him to apologise to the other child directly (which he refused to do), apologised again myself and then we left. Maybe worth mentioning my toddler has a speech delay and finds sorry a difficult word to say though he will normally try to mumble something.

The mum was commenting throughout to her toddler about the "naughty boy" and the "naughty thing" he'd done. She made me feel even more shit then I already did. Anyway was I unreasonable in what I did and how I handled it? What more could I do?!?

amistillsexy Wed 12-Feb-14 16:43:05

Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Toddlers are still learning, and don't understand that hitting (with a toy, especially!) hurts the other person. You took steps to teach this to your child.

She was being a moody mare. Ignore and try not to look too smug next week when it's her turn to do the walk of shame because her precious little Johnny's hit someone with a toy grin

bodygoingsouth Wed 12-Feb-14 16:46:20

it happens. next week don't be the group organiser stay with your toddler.

squoosh Wed 12-Feb-14 16:49:28

It sounds as though you handled it fine but I don't think you can be off with the other woman because she referred to your son and his action as 'naughty'. Her child did end up with a bloody nose to be fair so she was probably a bit shaken by that.

WillYouDoTheFandango Wed 12-Feb-14 16:51:28

I think you handled it exactly right. One week my baby got hit with a maraca, tackled to the floor and had his head stood on in a single 1 hour session. The next week he got his own back though wink.

Surely anyone with toddlers knows that you don't get too arsey as they'll be the one showing you up next week.

LaGuardia Wed 12-Feb-14 16:51:54

I hope the child with the bloody nose didn't have to go to hospital. Poor little thing. I would have been fuming if another child had done that to any of my DCs. I think you got away very lightly indeed.

Mojang Wed 12-Feb-14 16:55:39

I think you both handled it well. You did what you should have but she was right to support her son and tell him that your child had been naughty - that it wasn't ok for your ds to hit hers. It would have been wring of her to brush it off as nothing.

Icelollycraving Wed 12-Feb-14 16:56:29

Who was watching your toddler if you were busy? Not being facetious,just don't understand. I'd be fuming if my ds ended up with a bloody nose.

Hollyelf Wed 12-Feb-14 16:59:29

There was v little blood -it wasn't gushing, more like pinky red tinged toddler snot.

LaGuardia- so if I ' got away very lightly indeed' what would you have done to me? And what would you have preferred I did?

No, I won't be helping out again with activities. Have done for years then and have been trying to extricate myself. Seems a good a time as any. Yes, it was naughty, she's entitled to say that to her toddler, though it was the constant repetition whilst looking at us that got me. I'm not saying what he did was right though, just that there wasn't much more I could do.

amistillsexy Wed 12-Feb-14 16:59:30

I hope the child with the bloody nose didn't have to go to hospital.

Are you serious? Hospital for a bloody nose? Children are human. They're supposed to bleed!

Hollyelf Wed 12-Feb-14 17:00:48

Icelollycraving, me, though obviously not well enough. I was also watching a number of other peoples children. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, though that would clearly be helpful.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 12-Feb-14 17:01:18

Toddlers hit each other. I think you handled it very well, but the other mum wasn't unreasonable either iyswim.

GiveTwoSheets Wed 12-Feb-14 17:06:22

I think you handled it ok I would of been pissed if you didn't apologise, yes I've seen some parents still sat on there arse or continue to carry on chatting and let their terror still run amok one reason why I hate these groups.

Icelollycraving Wed 12-Feb-14 17:08:00

Do you have her number? A text to say sorry & you hope their nose isn't too bad might help.
Not much you can do,I see both sides.

I would be upset if my child was hit by another and ended up with a bloody nose but accidents DO happen. There have been many threads on here by people who have turned their backs only for their dc to end up injured. to tell op she 'got off lightly' is very condescending and daft - have you always managed to prevent accidents?

Hollyelf Wed 12-Feb-14 17:10:23

Givetwosheets, yes I did apologise - twice - and believe me I had been by his side the whole time, even taking him into the kitchen with me whilst I did the washing up (busy group but most people sit on their arses like you say).

Hollyelf Wed 12-Feb-14 17:12:03

Icelollycraving, no it don't have her number, I didn't recognise her. It may have been her first time there. She may not be back

jennifleurs Wed 12-Feb-14 17:12:23

Accidents happen but tbf to the other mum she was probably worried about her LO. Not sure what else you could have done to apologise.

I know with me if DS hurts himself I am more worried when I see blood, not overly squeamish but it does upset me.

jennifleurs Wed 12-Feb-14 17:12:40

Accidents happen but tbf to the other mum she was probably worried about her LO. Not sure what else you could have done to apologise.

I know with me if DS hurts himself I am more worried when I see blood, not overly squeamish but it does upset me.

Only1scoop Wed 12-Feb-14 17:12:51

Ughhhh hate those groups.... I'd stay with dc next week and watch him instead of activities with other dc.

You apologised.... You can't really do anymore

WorraLiberty Wed 12-Feb-14 17:16:11

I don't think either of you were unreasonable

I can understand though how her repeating 'naughty' in front of you must have made you feel like shit, but she was probably a bit stressed out.

You handled it better than she did I suppose.

TheListingAttic Wed 12-Feb-14 17:17:24

She wasn't necessarily expecting you to do anything else, was she? She was reassuring her child that what was done to him was a naughty thing and not acceptable - and you communicated the same to your child perfectly well, and handled the situation exactly as you should (IMHO!) Is it possible (just suggesting...) that you were a bit sensitive regarding her comments because you felt bad about what happened? I probably would have been. I don't think she was necessarily digging at the way you handled it, which sounds absolutely fine.

SaucyJack Wed 12-Feb-14 17:21:06

You weren't unreasonable, but neither was she. I don't think calling your little thug boy wink "naughty" was that harsh under the circs.

Funnyfoot Wed 12-Feb-14 17:22:13

I am sat here waiting for a "AIBU to be upset that another child hit mine today and caused him to have a nose bleed?" thread smile

I think both of you acted accordingly. Maybe she was reiterating the naughty boy/naughty act so that her child would never think of walloping another. Or maybe she wanted your child to hear how wrong it was.

MrsOakenshield Wed 12-Feb-14 17:24:30

agree with everyone else, you handled it fine, she wasn't being unreasonable, she was probably a bit jolted and trying to reassure her child. After all, if her child learns that hitting other children with a toy is naughty he might not do it himself!

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