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AIBU...DP and London

(222 Posts)
Bazoo23 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:16:43

I have recently started a new job and as part of this job I have to attend a training day in London.
We live about 5 hours from London. My employer will pay my train fare and I just assumed my partner would come with me.
However when I got the date through it falls week after we are away for a week.
My DP said hed be pushing his luck to ask for a day off so soon and wont even try.
AIBU to feel hurt that he doesnt seem worried about me goig alone? We are from a very small town and I am really nervous of being alone im a big city. Im also worried about travelling back in the evening.
I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-(

Famzilla Wed 12-Feb-14 15:18:06

Jesus wept.

I think you should see your GP if you are so anxious about going somewhere by yourself. It's not normal.

dinkystinky Wed 12-Feb-14 15:18:16

OP - you'll be fine travelling to, and around, London by yourself. Plenty of people do it - including school kids making their way across london twice a day by themselves. Just go on the transport for london website to plan your route, check what you need, and you'll be fine.

Lottiedoubtie Wed 12-Feb-14 15:18:35

I'm not sure why you assumed your DP would go with you?

Are you an otherwise independent adult?

JanePurdy Wed 12-Feb-14 15:19:17

I appreciate you are nervous about this trip but YABU, why should he feel worried about you going alone?!

squoosh Wed 12-Feb-14 15:19:23


Ummmm, is this honestly just for one day? Look on it as an opportunity to build your confidence. You're a grown up, you shouldn't need your partner there to hold your hand.

HamletsSister Wed 12-Feb-14 15:19:25

Seriously? If you are old enough to have a job and be sent on a training day, surely you must be capable of going on train on your own!

MaryWestmacott Wed 12-Feb-14 15:20:30

Sorry but yabu, you will be fine, London is Possibly the easiest city to navigate, plan your journey in advance and you'll be fine. Worse case scenario, make sure you have some cash on you to pay for a taxi.

AngelaDaviesHair Wed 12-Feb-14 15:20:40

I don't think your DP is being unreasonable.

You can do this you know, you just have to plan: how you're going to get around, what you're going to do at each stage. There's lots of help on here for people doing this, so you can use this thread.

Book a specific seat on a specific train, have a plan for when you arrive-taxi, Tube, bus or walk and print off maps to help you.

Work out what you'll do after the training day-will there be time for a treat, like tea or an early dinner in a nice restaurant? Do you know anyone in London who might meet you for that?

And then plan your journey back to the railway station. If you tell me the station and where the training day is, I'll gladly help.

Nancy66 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:21:00

It's a work thing. Nothing to do with your partner. you really can't expect him to accompany you.

If you are nervous then see if your firm will pay for a taxi to take you from whatever mainline station you get into to the training course venue and back again.

London is perfectly safe though and a great city.

amicissimma Wed 12-Feb-14 15:21:05

"I feel like it will be so obvious I have no clue what Im doing that I will be an easy target :-("

An easy target for what? Are you not going to travel to London, go to a training day, possibly have a drink with other people at the training and then either travel home or eat and sleep in a hotel and travel home next day. Doesn't sound interesting for your DP.

Visit the website. Get an Oyster card. Plan your journey. Tap Oyster in and out. You'll look like 12 million other people getting round London.

Lj8893 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:21:13

Really????? London isnt a warzone, you know that right??

itshowwedo Wed 12-Feb-14 15:21:30

I won't be mean because it's obvious you're nervous, but you really will be fine and you need to do this on your own.

Check the train/tube route - ask here if you need to. Buy an A-Z or make sure you can use the map on your smart phone. You're a grown woman. London is full of people who don't know it very well - tourists, people on business, students, all sorts. You won't stand out. You will just get on with it.

Congratulations - you now have a grip! thanks

eurochick Wed 12-Feb-14 15:21:34

Ummmm, I'm not really sure what to say. Do you suffer from anxiety usually? How old are you?

I went to live abroad when I was 20 (travelling alone). It was great. Seize the opportunity to challenge yourself!

Nancy66 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:22:04

London is full of clueless people wandering around looking lost - you won't stand out at all!

AlpacaLypse Wed 12-Feb-14 15:22:11

Yabu. Yes it is a bit scary if you're not used to it, but plan your journey, allow plenty of time, and don't use a bag that can be rummaged in without you noticing.

Bazoo23 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:22:20

haha thats a whole lot of replies in 3 minutes!
Im 21 and have never been anywhere like London by myself. I live in a tiny little town with no train station etc.
But DP will be thrilled by your consenus that IABU.

Mama1980 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:22:33

Yabu sorry. You'll be fine My 16 year old daughter does this often. Just plan your route and don't worry the stations are full of people who don't know where their going! Ask at the desk if stuck.

amicissimma Wed 12-Feb-14 15:22:42

oops. tfl website.

VillaVillekulla Wed 12-Feb-14 15:23:28


You're worried about being "an easy target". A target for what? What exactly is worrying you about London OP. As others have said, plenty of people, including school kids, travel around London on their own everyday. It's just a city.

My experience of training day type things is you're rarely out of the conference place anyway. You'd presumably just get the train to London, get the tube/cab/bus/whatever to the venue and then you'd stay put until it was time to go home.

I honestly can't imagine taking DP with me for a work thing. What would he do all day while you were in the training thing? Just wait outside confused?

Nancy66 Wed 12-Feb-14 15:24:18

Bazoo - if you want to post which station you arrive at and where you're heading to we can work out the quickest/safest route for you and give you an idea of the area etc.

squoosh Wed 12-Feb-14 15:24:49

As Nancy says on any given day London is full of people who've never been there before and don't know their way around.

Ginocchio Wed 12-Feb-14 15:24:52

Yes, YABU. Why would you assume that your partner would go with you? I can't imagine anyone taking their partner with them on a business trip like that.

Really, it's London. You won't stick out any more than all of the thousands of tourists that stand around wondering which way to go.

Check the TfL journey planner so you know the route you need to take, and you'll be fine.

MrCabDriver Wed 12-Feb-14 15:25:08

YABU. will be fine.

Incidentally, is it a 5 hour trip each way?
What's the times of your training day?!

YellowTulips Wed 12-Feb-14 15:25:10

Are you actually an adult? FGS - get a grip.

It's London not Sodom/Gomorrah FFS biscuit

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