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Yes I probably am being unreasonable, but I'm so pissed off re dh and his parents

(175 Posts)
Loopylouu Wed 12-Feb-14 09:53:29

So, I am 33 weeks pregnant.

Due to money/my older ds, dh and I have never been away alone together. No honeymoon, no overnight stays anywhere.

I have decided I want to go away to a nice hotel overnight next Friday. I'll be 34 weeks pregnant and ds decided to turn up at 36 weeks, so this is our last chance as I don't want to be away from home after that really just incase it all kicks off. DS goes to his fathers house EOW, and this is the last time he'll be away before the baby is here. It's also out third anniversary that day. Reasonable to want I go away, right?

I posted a while ago about PIL booking visits to come and stay on iCal without asking first. Well, talking about hotels to dh last night, he looks at the calendar and guess fucking what? PIL are down that day/night.

So obviously we can't go as dhs can't miss seeing them (they dot stay with us, they stay in a b&b as our flat is too small).

They have booked hotel and can't change date and dh wouldn't want them to anyway.

Am thinking of just booking the hotel anyway and going myself and sayig he can come if he wants or he can stay here wih his mum and dad. I'm tired, pissed off and I want a break from these four walls.

Go ahead and call me a cow.

WobblyHalo Wed 12-Feb-14 09:58:03

I don't think you're a cow.

Book it. Go.

petalsandstars Wed 12-Feb-14 10:00:49

Nope, they didn't check it was suitable. Book it and have a break for yourself.
It might make your point better than words.

Rockchick1984 Wed 12-Feb-14 10:01:27

I don't think YABU - what was the outcome from the last time when they were just booking things without checking if you're free? If they always do it and they have never been pulled up about it previously then I can understand why your DH doesn't want to make them change plans however if you've spoken to them before and they are still doing it, then I'd just book the hotel and tell them its not convenient and that they should have checked as previously discussed!

C4ro Wed 12-Feb-14 10:02:14

If they regularly stay at that hotel, can't they just ask them nicely to move the booking a few weeks later/ or whenever is useful for them to visit? Are their flight tickets or something else making it hard to move?

Loopylouu Wed 12-Feb-14 10:02:51

But then he'll probably accuse me of making him choose between me and his parents.

I am going stir crazy. I was a student but didn't go back in September due to severe sickness and having had two previous mmc. All I've done for months is sit in this flat worrying and doing housework.

I want just one night out of here before the baby comes.

FrankelInFoal Wed 12-Feb-14 10:03:31

Go, go, go! It's their fault for not checking your availability first.

Loopylouu Wed 12-Feb-14 10:05:07

Dh did talk to them about it. They just said that just because they are in London, it doesn't mean we have to see them. Only it does as dh wants to see them. So it doesn't really work...I've looked at the calendar and they have booked once a month/six weeks until next march!

GTA5MASTER Wed 12-Feb-14 10:06:05

We are due to go away for the weekend this Friday and then my husband drops the bombshell that he has to work so I said that's fine I'll go on my own because I booked this break away because I am tired and need a rest. He rang me back half hour later to say he's got cover and so he can still go.
I would book it, it's not like your are going to get another chance in a long while.

choirmum Wed 12-Feb-14 10:08:07

Your DH is being completely unreasonable. His parents have already said they don't need to see you so he's the one causing the problem. I think you should make a stand and just go (on your own if necessary). You need a break.

FannyFifer Wed 12-Feb-14 10:08:35

I would book it & go on your own.

Is your entire life going to be dictated by when they decide to visit, fuck that!

waltermittymissus Wed 12-Feb-14 10:08:36

I remember previous threads.

I still think this is beyond weird! To just book it and not even discuss it?!

It's fucking rude and your dh is being a total arse.

What, he can't go a few weeks without seeing mummy and daddy??

Tell him you're going away. And based on his attitude and general wankiness he's no longer invited!

Loopytiles Wed 12-Feb-14 10:08:47

Sounds like it's your H who remains the problem here, not just PIL (who have said they're content to do other things in London). He's being unreasonable, especially if they'll be down again a month later!

Annianni Wed 12-Feb-14 10:09:14

Yanbu. Go anyway and have a rest.

ohfourfoxache Wed 12-Feb-14 10:09:16

Go - please.

If they are around anyway and the visit isn't specifically "to see you" then there shouldn't be a problem.

You're heavily pregnant, your needs/wants come above anyone else's for now. You're asking for 1 night, not a month - hardly unreasonable

Loopylouu Wed 12-Feb-14 10:09:35

I know. I know we have my ds, but he is away every other weekend and half the holidays, so dh is used to us having time alone.

I don't think he's quite grasped the fact that this baby (thankfully, I hate ds going away) will be here all the time.

It's dh that's the problem really. He'd rather see his parents.

I am so irrationally angry at the moment.

Annianni Wed 12-Feb-14 10:10:12

And I'd block/delete them from the calendar!

Loopytiles Wed 12-Feb-14 10:10:40

Your anger isn't irrational, it's understandable, most people would be angry in your shoes.

whatever5 Wed 12-Feb-14 10:10:42

It sounds as if your DH is the problem rather than his parents as it seems they don't expect to see you if you're busy. Considering that he will be able to see them again in a months time your DH is being very unreasonable to expect you to drop your plans because your parents are in town. It's not as if you can go away the following weekend.

Loopylouu Wed 12-Feb-14 10:10:46

I know thy would be disappointed if we weren't here. And like I said, dh wants to see them. So it's just tough shit for me.

Pimpf Wed 12-Feb-14 10:11:21

Another vote for booking it going, sod him!

Loopytiles Wed 12-Feb-14 10:12:09

If part of the problem is that you're fed up with the four walls that could get tricky when the baby arrives, do you have local friends, family, support?

WobblyHalo Wed 12-Feb-14 10:12:33

Like Ohfour says, you're asking for ONE night. That is not unreasonable.

Make sure make him see how unreasonable it is of HIM to deny you this ONE thing.

TravelinColour Wed 12-Feb-14 10:13:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarpyFishwifeTwat Wed 12-Feb-14 10:14:43

Just go. Tell him you need a break and it's up to him whether he comes or not.

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