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to have gotten upset at a manager at my work?

(11 Posts)
lettucelamp Tue 11-Feb-14 19:05:38

I work in a call centre and last night I needed to get a manager to do something for a customer which I don't have the permissions to be able to do. Only one manager available, he's a bit of an arse sometimes in general but I was trying to get it sorted so I just got on with it. He had someone talking to him already so I stood at the side of them where he could clearly see me but without interrupting them (which is fairly normal practice for where we work).

Anyway he turns to me and said "can I help you?". Kind of brusque but I just said "yeah I'm just waiting for you, I need you to do xxx please"

He asked me some questions, his tone in general was really rude and patronising and he told me to email him and he would do it. I felt like he was fobbing me off but I hate confrontation so I just said okay, even though it meant I couldn't resolve the customers issue there and then and would have to arrange a callback with them.

I went and sat back at my desk and explained to the customer, looked up and the other person the manager had had with him had already gone. Sent the email to him, looked back up and he was wondering about and laughing with some other staff.

I was annoyed but I was due my break so I went on it, 15 minutes later I came back, sat down at my desk and saw the manager walking towards me... coat and bag on! I was annoyed but tried really hard to not sound it and said to him "are you going? Did you get my email?" he said he was going and he hadn't got my email, then he said "why does it need doing tonight?" so I said "oh, because I said I'd ring the customer back in a little bit but if you're going then don't worry about it I'll just get another manager to do it". He said "no you won't, why does it need doing tonight?" so I just repeated myself, that I'd told the customer I was going to call them back tonight. He then kept going on just repeating "why does it need doing tonight" and I eventually had to say "you're starting to upset me now, I need you to leave me alone" but he STILL kept asking me "why does it need doing tonight?" and I actually just burst into tears, and walked out.

I'm so embarassed that I cried in the middle of the call centre, but angry that this manager drove me to it.

Some background: I've been feeling really stressed at work lately for various reasons, and I'd had three hours sleep the night before as I was worrying about it all, it's all to do with hour changes. I've started taking anti-depressants a couple of weeks ago and it's as a direct result of the stress being caused to me at work. Work know they are causing me problems but I don't think they know the extent its' effecting me.

I made an official complaint to my manager by email (as she was on leave that night) and another manager took me into another room and it all came spilling out about the extent of the stress work are causing me and I'll doubtless have a meeting about it all next time I'm on shift (Thursday).

Now I've had a good nights sleep, I'm worried I'm going to just be written off as being "over emotional" or "on my period" or something else horribly sexist by this awful manager. I have a witness who said she would back me up. But I want to know if you think IBU and if I overreacted? DH thinks it was harassment (because he wouldn't leave me alone when I asked him to) but I don't think it's quite that serious? AIBU?

ATacticalNameChange Tue 11-Feb-14 19:10:07

No! Yaddddnbu. And it sounds conpletely like harrassment.

shoom Tue 11-Feb-14 19:11:14

It's bullying. Don't allow it to be portrayed as you being stressed and any little thing upsets you.

paxtecum Tue 11-Feb-14 19:17:33

OP: It's bullying and the manager was not doing their best for their company.

Good luck with it.

eddielizzard Tue 11-Feb-14 19:21:50


it was bullying and the manager was not acting in the company's best interests. he should have just done it there and then and not been an arse about it. you on the other hand were trying to do your best for the customer and were absolutely in the right.

this doesn't sound like a good environment and your manager should be making steps to make it a more conducive environment. it's in the company's, customer's, theirs and your best interests!

Nomama Tue 11-Feb-14 19:24:25

Sweety, you were not stressed by the job, you were bullied by a manager.

DO NOT say you were stressed, point out the above. Focus on the FACT that you are hired to support customers, as is he. If he can't be bothered to do his job, support you in supporting the customer they need to address that behaviour, not how you respond to his manner.

Grab your bottom lip and refuse to tremble. It ain't you, it is him!

cakebar Tue 11-Feb-14 19:24:26

It's bullying and you mustn't let them use you being stressed about hour changes to excuse it. Totally unacceptable.

Beansprout30 Tue 11-Feb-14 19:43:00

Yanbu. I had a similar thing happen to me a few weeks ago I felt so stupid for letting the tears come out but I was so frustrated with the situation and the way my boss spoke to me. Hope you get things sorted, your boss sounds like a nob

lettucelamp Tue 11-Feb-14 20:07:23

Beansprout, what came of it? Did you make a complaint about your boss or anything?

Beansprout30 Tue 11-Feb-14 20:18:18

Overall my relationship with my boss is good, I rarely have an issue with him so on this occasion I had a good cry to my husband then went back to work the next day with my head held high. I thought in my case, life would be easier if I let it go this time but it has made me very aware of him for the future and I am now considering looking for new jobs. Im not saying this is what you should do but have a good think before you make any decisions x

Pigletin Tue 11-Feb-14 20:55:34

Nomama has good advice. Don't tell them about being depressed and emotional or they will write you off. Just stick to logical arguments regarding being hired to help customers and being ignored and bullied while trying to do your job.

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