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AIBU?

...to be a little self centered when quitting smoking?

20 replies

aw11 · 11/02/2014 15:35

10 1/2 days in now and boy it's hard today! Not been to bad but for some reason today is killing me (or not, as I haven't given in :) ) Had a few tough moments so far but only a handful.

Text my gf at lunch to tell her this, looking for a bit of support to help me out, and all I get back is "I didn't sign up for this" and "just by some fags if it makes you less moody". Really suprised me to be honest, tho she's never been a smoker so doesn't see it as a big deal.

OP posts:

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HarpyFishwifeTwat · 11/02/2014 15:38

Does seem a little over the top if you just said you were having a tough day and wanted a whinge. Have you been texting her constant updates? That may be a bit irritating if all she's getting from you is non-stop smoking talk. But on the face of it she is being U

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2014 15:38

Well done on quitting smoking

If she's saying she didn't sign up for it, is that a sign that you're talking to her too much about it and becoming a bit of a bore?

I sometimes feel like this when friends are trying to lose weight and they keep going on about it.

But I grit my teeth and grin and bare it.

aw11 · 11/02/2014 15:41

no not constant updates! Like I say, hasn't been too aweful, just once every couple of days. Might just winge on here instead!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2014 15:53

In that case she doesn't sound supportive at all.

Yes, whinge on here.

Destinysdaughter · 11/02/2014 15:56

Giving up the fags is really hard! Non smokers don't have a clue or much patience I think. Remember you are doing it for yourself and what all the benefits are. Definitely keep posting here, we'll support you!

DanceParty · 11/02/2014 15:57

Know how you feel OP - I stopped 16 months ago. BUT I GOT AN E-CIG. Wonderful things.

namechange74 · 11/02/2014 15:57

whine away to us. It is hard. I'm on day 23 and i still have moments where i could scream but they are getting fewer, thanks to mini eggs. (trousers are tighter too) Dig deep, keep going!

aw11 · 11/02/2014 16:11

Thanks for all the support!

Well done namechange74.....day 23 seems a mile away. I'm on the sweets aswell, especially on the drive home from work. Main aim is to get to the 9th March when I have a 10k run, got a PB to beat.

OP posts:

dontquotem3 · 11/02/2014 16:38

Hi OP keep going. Remember why you're doing this. I've choosing not to smoke and it's done me good for the last 5 months. It gets better!

dontquotem3 · 11/02/2014 16:39

I've chosen

whomadeyougod · 11/02/2014 17:38

well done on giving up , are you going cold turkey or using something ? ,if you are using something then she is probably thinking just use that then and stop moaning , if cold turkey its much harder and you deserve to moan :)

GlitzAndGiggles · 11/02/2014 17:41

Well done on quitting. I'm going cold turkey on Thursday. I'm gonna be a moody bitch!

whomadeyougod · 11/02/2014 17:41

forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/ this is a really good site for support as well .

MoreSkyThanWeNeed · 11/02/2014 17:48

Well done! Keep it up!

I tend to moan about things and DP always wants to suggest solutions, but I just want my annoyance to be heard iyswim. Is ur GF one of these solutions people and perhaps a bit frustrated? My DP gets the hump when I complain and don't take his suggestions for alleviating my anger!

Either way, I would reiterate to her how tough it is and that support would be appreciated.

DoJo · 11/02/2014 18:52

It's fine to be a little self centred, but don't forget that your girlfriend's life will still be carrying on regardless of the fact that you are having a hard time. If you have stopped asked her how her day is, only text to warn her that you are having a hard time or have neglected to mention how much you appreciate her putting up with the side effects of your decision to quit, then maybe you are driving her mad. Perhaps you could channel some of your frustration into doing nice things for her - instead of going for a smoke at lunchtime, go to the shops and buy something nice for dinner; instead of focussing on how hard your day has been, plan something nice for a milestone when you have been smoke free for a month/6 months etc.

Obsessing over something like this is natural, but it is also frustrating for others as there isn't much anyone can do to 'help' you - it just comes down to facing every situation without a cigarette in your hand, and at some point you will just do it without thinking and your life will seem 'normal' again. Good luck!

aw11 · 14/02/2014 11:53

Still here and still not smoking! It may be getting better, or I might be just having a few good days.

whomadeyougod - yep cold turkey....well been eating alot of sweets etc. Joined that forum, looks good.

DoJo- trying not to obsess,

GlitzAndGiggles - hope you're ok!

OP posts:

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 14/02/2014 12:40

Well done so far and keep it up, it's so worth it

DoJo · 16/02/2014 20:19

Well done and hopefully you are finding it a bit easier every day!

Amy106 · 16/02/2014 20:25

Good for you! It's such a tough thing to do. Don't worry about your friend. She could just have been having an awful day. Just don't look for support from her again when it comes to quitting smoking.

Pigletin · 16/02/2014 20:26

Sounds like the problem is your unsupportive girlfriend. I don't think you're self-centered at all, surely some help and understanding is needed when quitting smoking. Well done and keep it up, it's all worth it!

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