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Boss told every man and their dog that I'm pregnant

(18 Posts)
Alexchallex Tue 11-Feb-14 11:35:21

I told my boss early on to help him out with regards to planning for the future. I told him I was 5 weeks or so, can't remember now. Anyway while on holiday I start getting congratulations texts for random folk at work. So he's told everyone I'm pregnant. Now I didn't say 'keep this a secret' but had I gone to him with a medical issue, I wouldn't have felt the need to have asked for confidentiality.
I've not had a scan yet.
Anyway Aibu to be really angry about this?

Bumpiemalumpie Tue 11-Feb-14 11:36:52

I would be livid! in hindsight, perhaps a 'keep it between us' wouldn't of hurt but I agree it should have been a given!!

I would have stern words with him!

Actually, YABU. You didn't tell him not to say anything so he probably didn't realise you wanted it kept hush hush. I know you told him so he could be organised but he probably thought if you told him it was no state secret.

DanceParty Tue 11-Feb-14 11:39:36

I would have stern words with him!

And he will look bewildered and say that you didn't ask him to NOT tell anyone. Which you didn't. You have to be specific with some people, you know.

CSIJanner Tue 11-Feb-14 11:43:06


It doesn't matter that you didn't tell him to keep stum. He is your boss and as such, should realise that the only people who he needed to talk to were possibly HR. He has disclosed medical information without permission. I would formally complain.

angeltulips Tue 11-Feb-14 11:46:40

Yeah formally complain, that'll help <eye roll>

I'm afraid if you didn't tell him you wanted it kept confidential you are being a bit unreasonable. Same as if you'd said "I just want to tell you I need to go into hospital for a back operation in 6 months so you can plan" - wouldn't you expect him to start talking to colleagues and managers so workload distribution/temp cover could be arranged?

Yanbu to feel upset, but I wouldn't blame your boss!

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 11-Feb-14 11:48:01


It's a confidentiality issue,if any of my senior staff disclosed another staff members medical condition with out expressed consent I would be taking the steps required to dismiss them

RigglinJigglin Tue 11-Feb-14 11:48:38

YANBU in wanting him to keep it schtum.

YABU to expect it not to have eeked out letting them know so early. I understand your intentions re: workforce planning but once you've told your employer, they formally know and have to complete the relevant h&s assessments and informing HR.

Don't formally complain for goodness sake!! You want your boss fighting your corner at a time like this....flexibility and leniency is good from both sides and don't start making things awkward at never know when you may need them to cut you some slack. Are you in an office?

Just mutter and be pissed off but just in your head!

Alexchallex Tue 11-Feb-14 11:50:23

I know there is nothing to be gained in complaining formally. More trouble than it's worth. But I am extremely annoyed, particularly as I've not had a scan yet. I do think that if people needed to know then he could have checked with me

lynniep Tue 11-Feb-14 11:50:47

YANBU. My boss did this back in 2011 when I was pg with DS2. I asked her not to mention it, howeve she still told my collegues, and it spread around the office (even though most of them didn't know me as I worked from home)
That included my good friends husband who also worked in that office, who of course immediately told good friend. Fortunately good friend was savvy enough to ask me if she should keep schtum. and did.
I was unbelievably cross.

I don't blame you for being annoyed Lynniep given that you had told your boss to keep it quiet. OP however, didn't and some people just don't think to engage their brain before they open their mouth.

RigglinJigglin Tue 11-Feb-14 11:55:26

OP, you've told your employer. They are not your friend, they aren't there to look out for you and keep secrets.

Take it as a lesson learned and don't tell you manager anything they don't need to know in the future smile

ErrolTheDragon Tue 11-Feb-14 11:57:52

YANBU ... I guess some people are clueless that apart from anything else, most people only tell on a 'need-to-know' basis until the second trimester.

I suppose if he told people in a positive sort of 'nice news' way, he may have thought he was being a good progressive boss but he got it wrong.

CSIJanner Tue 11-Feb-14 11:59:04


If you're working for a big company (I was at a large Uni) then employees were actively encouraged to formally complain when confidential matters were disclosed as line managers were in a privileged position, plus had the training to know what and when to disclose. A line manager should know better and if not, needed further training. If it happened again, the. It would either be a new position of the same level without the privilege or instant dismissal.

OP - what you need to do it best for you, but if it was me, I would have a firm word with him.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 11-Feb-14 12:05:43

OP, you've told your employer. They are not your friend, they aren't there to look out for you and keep secrets

They may not be your friend but medical secrets they are meant to keep,it is part of their job.

ChasedByBees Tue 11-Feb-14 12:12:21

You could email to ask if he's told anyone about your pregnancy as its not public knowledge until 12 weeks. That way it's not a formal comaint but raises the issue with him in a low key way.

Topaz25 Tue 11-Feb-14 12:16:01

YANBU. You didn't tell him in a friendly personal chat, you informed him about a medical issue in a professional context so it could be accommodated at work. He has behaved unprofessionally. Anyone with half a clue should have known you wouldn't want to announce your pregnancy so early and you might have wanted to tell people yourself but he sounds clueless so you'll have to be extra clear in future.

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