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to think dd1s dad is wrong on this one?

(10 Posts)
mouseymummy Mon 10-Feb-14 22:19:30

Dd1 is 9 and is about to go abroad with my aunt and uncle for a week in Spain during the Easter holidays.

My aunt and uncle are really close to dd1 and often have her for a weekend as and when they are able to

They've been talking about taking her abroad for a few years but wanted to wait for dd1 to feel able to spend a week away from home and also to be able to cope with the flight etc.

Dds dad has her for 6 hours eow, no overnights and if access is misses for any reason I always give him a list of dates so they can go less than a month without seeing each other but this is never taken up.

As I'm sitting out dds passport and letters for my aunt to take her away, I've had to get dds dads passport number. Its like getting blood from a fucking stone tbh. Its taken 5phone calls from my aunt, around 3/4 from me and 2 emails over the last month.

When he has finally given me the dearils , hes also chucked into the mix that he thinks she's too young confused

He's known about this holiday for 3 months now, I've included him in the process, he knows how excited dd is about it. He knows it means she gets to meet a family member that she's only spoken to on Skype and he has paid for lessons so she can learn the language of the country sheis going to.


Aibu to think that if I think she's old enough to go then I know my own child enough to know that she will be fine, that she is with people I trust with her and that she will be fine without me for 8 days??

RandomMess Mon 10-Feb-14 22:21:56

She is 9, a school trip away could easily be 4 nights confused I think it's just sour grapes/wanting to make a point???

K999 Mon 10-Feb-14 22:27:53

Not sure if he's wrong but should he not be allowed to express his concerns? He's not said that she can't go? Plus if he is named on birth certificate/has PRR does he not have to agree for her to leave the country ??

I'm in Scotland so maybe it's different?

mouseymummy Mon 10-Feb-14 22:32:21

That was a point I made while I was on the phone earlier, I told him that next year she will be offered a place on a residential trip that will be 4 nights and would he agree to it. He said he didn't know.

I'm very confused as to why he would pay £200 for a course of lessons so she could learn the language to then say he didn't agree, less than 2 months later.

Very strange!! Dd just said he was a "funny fish" and she "will still go"!!

(I did try to keep dd out of the room during the conversation but she kept coming back in to watch TV)

RandomMess Mon 10-Feb-14 22:33:01

Of course he should feel able to express his concerns but this has been planned for ages - why not mention it when it first came up rather than very late in the day...

mouseymummy Mon 10-Feb-14 22:36:44

K999, sorry xposted.

I think it's odd that he would express concern at this stage though.

Hes known about the holiday and agreed at the time.

Yes, he is required to sign the same letter as me as he has parental responsibilities.

AwfulMaureen Mon 10-Feb-14 23:14:05

Of course YANBU. It's Spain! Not Australia!

Pipbin Mon 10-Feb-14 23:33:34

She is with family that she knows, what is the problem.
When I was 9 I went to summer camp for a week, on my own. No friends, no siblings, unknown place, in the uk grated but still. She'll be fine.

Amicus1966 Mon 10-Feb-14 23:37:44

He is just being an arse.

mouseymummy Tue 11-Feb-14 10:18:41

Thank you all. I'm glad I'm nbu.

Now to see if I need him to fill out the medical card too. I bloody hope not!!

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