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AIBU?

to want to get a puppy while on mat leave

71 replies

HuntingforBunting · 10/02/2014 08:59

Just that really..

Would love a black lab, want to be around lots when a puppy. I have ds 1 who's 3 so know what I'm in for there, but no experience of dogs really. People I've asked suggest a strain from working stock, so more easy to train. Any way, am i b u to think this is a good idea?
Btw we both work half the week from home each so always someone in the house when I go back to work

OP posts:

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HesterShaw · 10/02/2014 09:01

Doesn't puppyhood actually last ages? How long is your mat leave? Can you not get a rescue dog?

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sooperdooper · 10/02/2014 09:03

If you've no experience of dogs then I think a new puppy, a toddler and a new baby sounds a lot to have on your plate!

Have you thought about a rescue dog that's already house trained? That'd be much more sensible :)

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Catsmamma · 10/02/2014 09:04

yes, that's a fabulous idea

a toddler

a puppy

and a new baby (presuming you are not still on mat leave with the toddler)

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Wafflet · 10/02/2014 09:09

Sorry,but I don't think you necessarily know what you are in for. The fact that you are even considering a new puppy and a new baby at the same time makes me wonder if you had an easy baby first time round. What if you end up having one with reflect, or colic, or who only sleeps in ten minute sessions for the first year - would you really want to come down in the morning after being awake every night to a pile of puppy mess?

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poopooheadwillyfatface · 10/02/2014 09:09

I got our youngest dog when DS was 2.5
I love him to bits but if I did it again I wouldn't have. When it's blowing a gale or one of the children has been puking all night you still have to take the dog out.

And if there's only one of you free at a time you have to take grumpy soggy toddler out with you for said walk in ice snow and sleet. They sprinkle mud all over the house. They poo all over the garden.

and they give you big waggy cuddles when you get home

a long day out at the zoo or theme park? weekend with friends? holidays? think where the dog will fit in to all those.

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theborg · 10/02/2014 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

extracrunchy · 10/02/2014 09:14

Oh my god don't do it!!! You're just hormonal

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HesterShaw · 10/02/2014 09:15

I love the phrase "attract mud and ponds". It so exactly describes my friend's black lab. They see water and immediately get in it, no matter how rancid. Same applies to badger and fox shit.

It would drive me up the wall, much as I like the dog in small doses.

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GinSoakedMisery · 10/02/2014 09:16

You'd be crazy to do this. You wouldn't have time to properly train the puppy, you'll be exhausted from having a new baby and toddler. Don't do it.

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MrsBennetsEldest · 10/02/2014 09:16

Labs are easy to train. The working/show suggestion is rubbish. They are easy to train compaired to lots of other breeds but you have no experience of dog training. It's not a simple thing. Throw a toddler AND a newborn into the mix and you, in my view, would be doing a disservice to all three. If you want a dog, wait until your children are older and you have the time to do it properly. A puppy and a newborn is a terrible mix.

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mistlethrush · 10/02/2014 09:20

I love my dog. However, at the weekend she, on several occasions, got a bit thirsty, saw a puddle ahead, dashed up to it, did a 4 paw landing in the middle and skidded to a stop, then drank liquid mud... and came to tell me how nice it was.

If you have a new baby and a small child, I really would not get a puppy. Some labs can start to calm down a little by the time they're 5 or so... If its a first dog, I would be seeing if I could get a nice, slightly older dog from rescue, which is hopefully housetrained, and won't be quite so demanding in the early days.

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Foxsticks · 10/02/2014 09:20

I inherited a six month kitten just before my baby was born and regretted it about a month later. It was really stressful having him in the room with my dd as he was constantly stalking and pouncing at her! Now she is two and its still stressful as she sees him as a really exciting movable cuddly toy and is constantly manhandling him, poor thing. I can only imagine a dog would be worse.

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GhostsInSnow · 10/02/2014 09:21

Noo. I'm a SAHM with a 4 month old Scottie, he's a lot of work and he's only a small dog who doesn't need walking for miles every day. I come down in a morning to a wet puppypad and poo. I spend half an hour dettolling the kitchen floor then walk him for half an hour.
He's pad trained to the back door so not yet outside, but factor in hours stood in the garden saying 'have a wee' over and over. Puppyhood does last for ages, 9 months is apparently the time when most dogs go into rescue because around that age they regress a bit and turn into idiots (I liken it to teenagers personally )

It's a wonderful, romantic idea walking along pushing a pram with a beautiful dog alongside. The reality is more pram teetering on 2 wheels whilst dog pulls you and it up the road, or dog sat down and you trying desperately to drag it home and push the baby.

Bad idea. Seriously.

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teenagetantrums · 10/02/2014 09:29

Dont do it, puppies are harder work than babies, at least babies wear a nanny and dont need to be taken outside in rain and mud every hour. I know two people who got a puppy while on maternity leave and both puppies ended up going back to the breeders they just couldn't cope. Wit until your kids are older and you will have more time for the puppy.

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WilsonFrickett · 10/02/2014 09:33

Another one saying don't do it and I am inordinately fond of labs.

But they need walked. Every day. So if you have a baby that wants snuggled for four hours while learning to feed, you will still have to get up, get everyone dressed and take the dog out. They also need to go out at night, which to me was always the big 'no no' when DS was too little to be left in the house, unless you have a garden you don't mind them peeing all over - so how would you handle that if one of you wasn't in?

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LEMmingaround · 10/02/2014 09:37

Please please don't do this :( Whoever told you to go for a working strain is quite possibly off their noddle. I assume you will be going back to work full time after mat leave. What then? totally bored dog - completely unfair. You say you know nothing about dogs - thats ok, but it is NOT ok to take on a bloody working dog - a recipe for disaster and quite frankly, ignorance is the reason that the rescue centres are full-to-bursring point.

Imagine the baby being a bit of a nightmare in terms of sleeping, you will be shattered, but still have to find the time to walk and train a puppy, who will need to be walked no matter what the weather or how much you are trying to catch up on sleep while the kids nap - no no no no no.

wait until the children are older and you can actually enjoy having a dog.

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NannyLouise29 · 10/02/2014 09:38

I was in a dog friendly coffee shop the other day and watched a poor mum with a fairly new baby struggle with a (beautiful) young golden lab. All she wanted was a coffee and a sit down and just couldn't do it.

In the end I offered to take the dog for ten minutes whilst she just had a rest. I grew up around working springer spaniels and know how to handle puppies and dogs. I'm a nanny, and know how to handle babies. I couldn't handle both together. Ever.

I did wonder at the time what on earth had possessed her! Please don't do it. Enjoy your baby and your toddler without additional interruption.

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NCISaddict · 10/02/2014 09:40

I did it with my first baby,a border collie puppy 12 weeks before DD was born. not sure I would recommend it if you're inexperienced but it was fine for me. I knew what I was doing with dogs and I had a very easy baby who slept well and continued to do so. Not sure how I would have coped if she had been a poor sleeper or if I'd had a CS.

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Booboostoo · 10/02/2014 09:40

Insanity. Puppies need your full attention, they need training and socialisation. You will have enough on your plate with the toddler and the newborn there is absolutely no reason on earth to add a puppy to the mix.

As for working lines the clue is in the name: the dog needs to work, that means hours outdoors on a daily basis with a specific job to do - hardly compatible with a family environment (usually in an urban setting). If you do decide on a dog later on chose a breeder who breeds for family temperament, from suitable parents (both parents have to be friendly, settled and calm).

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dietcokeandwine · 10/02/2014 09:40

I had a black lab as a child. Gorgeous dog, loving and affectionate, and completely mad and bouncy. It took him a good 2-3 years to stop being quite so bouncy.

My sister and I were about 11 and 13 when we got him, and even then, lovely as he was, he was a strain on the household in the early years.

Having had experience of a lab puppy and, separately, experience of the 3yo-plus-newborn combination, I'd say please please please don't do it. It would be unfair to everyone, most of all you!!

If you were an experienced dog owner then maybe you'd manage it (and just be rather more knackered and stressed than you might otherwise have been). But you're not an experienced dog owner. So please don't. Don't don't don't. It's when people have these kind of romantic notions that the poor puppies end up in rescue because their owners can't cope....

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LEMmingaround · 10/02/2014 09:41

Sorry - missed the bit where you said someone would be home all week. But seriously - wait until the baby is older, why make life harder than it needs to be.

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expatinscotland · 10/02/2014 09:45

YABU.

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Lonecatwithkitten · 10/02/2014 09:45

One of the best things about having pets and children is that the children can learn about caring for someone else. Neither of your children will be old enough to experience this so you are not gaining that benefit.
I have an amazing dog who is beautifully trained, however, my daughter was 8 when I got him so I was able to dedicate my time to him hours and hours standing in the garden waiting for him to pee or poo so I could praise him and house train him. An hour a week every week for four years at first obdience and then agility classes to train him. Finally hours of walking practicing everything we had learnt in class.
Whilst the puppy phase doesn't last long you are rapidly into the teenage phase and this would hit when you have a nearly 4 year old and a 10 month old. Dog will stop listening to you throw will kind of high jinks.

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frenchfancy · 10/02/2014 09:46

I did it. I was mad. We love her to bits but dealing with baby and puppy at same time was not fun.

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dietcokeandwine · 10/02/2014 09:46

Also, did you know that labs can chew a lot-not just shoes and toys, but holes in walls? I can vividly remember coming back from the shops with my mum when our lab was a pup. He'd had a good walk that morning, and we'd left him for maybe an hour whilst we shopped. He'd chewed three large holes in the plaster of the utility room wall, pulled the plug out of the washing machine, left poo and wee all over the floor and torn up the newspaper we'd left to catch said poo and wee. Mum just sat down and cried. I was 13, so I could help clear up and comfort her. Your children won't be able to do any such thing. Imagine that scenario for a moment and try and work out how you'd cope.