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To have a crush?

(16 Posts)
GuiltMonster Sun 09-Feb-14 12:38:20

So, I am married with DC but I have a crush which seems to come and go over the years.
Sometimes I'm not so bothered about this person and other times I keep thinking about themblush
I have never and would never act on it but it have to admit to fantasising occasionally.
This person is a close friend of my dh's so I feel incredibly guilty whenever I have these feelingsconfused
Is this ok? Is it normal? I'd rather not feel super guilty...
I'm completely happy with my dh btw! Love him to bits!

EBearhug Sun 09-Feb-14 12:41:31

I have had various crushes. I think if they just stay as a fantasy, and they brighten up the day, then there's no harm to it. Most crushes are best not acted on - you don't want to spoil a good fantasy with a dose of reality which just ruins it!

mrssmith79 Sun 09-Feb-14 12:43:02

Very normal indeed, don't beat yourself up over it.

qazxc Sun 09-Feb-14 12:46:36

As long as you don't have any intention of acting on it and it doesn't affect your relationship with DH or take over your life, i don't see the harm in it. It's a bit like me fancying Benedict Cumberbatch or DP fancying Kate Hudson, a bit of harmless fancy.

GuiltMonster Sun 09-Feb-14 13:06:26

I suppose, I find myself worry about how nice I look of I know he's gonna pop over to see ushmm
Don't know why when I have no intention of acting on it at all.
I guess it just feels wrong, improbably feel insecure of dh had a crush on a close friend..

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 09-Feb-14 13:15:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GuiltMonster Sun 09-Feb-14 13:30:49

Ha ha Sinister, I can just imagine you eyeing up the young carersgrin

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 09-Feb-14 16:34:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Innogen Sun 09-Feb-14 16:40:04

It's fine. As long as it remains in your head, you're doing nothing wrong.

GuiltMonster Mon 10-Feb-14 11:16:13

Yeah, he remains in my head in that respect. We see him quite often as he's a close friend.. I have had this crush for about 9 years now thoughblush

AngelaDaviesHair Mon 10-Feb-14 11:27:41

Well, I suppose he's just someone you find attractive, which is completely normal. One of my best female friends has a crush on a male friend of mine she met at my wedding. She's very amusing about it, but has never given any indication to him that she's interested (she's married). It's just funny sometimes when you get that 'Ooh, I fancy you like a teenager' thing.

maleview70 Mon 10-Feb-14 12:35:10

You can bet your money that your hubby will feel the same about one of your friends/a workmate etc....

Doesn't everyone? I fancy loads of people I know. I sit next to one at work!

QueenofKelsingra Mon 10-Feb-14 12:59:55

hope its normal! i still have moments of thinking about my first love. Dh came and whisked me off my feet but i still think about him (we are still friends) and i still wonder sometimes 'what if' we had got together. I'm very happy with DH and love him to bits and would never act on it obvs! a little dreaming never did any harm as long as that is all it is.

Littleen Mon 10-Feb-14 13:23:53

I think it's fine - most people I know have times when they fancy someone other than their OH, because feelings vary from time to time. I don't think it's anything to worry about, as long as you don't let it get too important or act upon it. smile Mind, I would never want to know if my other half had a crush on someone else, so I think it's important not to let it show :P

squoosh Mon 10-Feb-14 13:25:54

It's human to be sexually attracted to people we aren't married to. Perfectly fine. It's only acting on it that's the dodgy part.

GuiltMonster Mon 10-Feb-14 13:34:22

Thanks allsmile I hate to think of dh having a crush but he most likely has!

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