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AIBU?

...to have my 3 kids share a room...

22 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 08/02/2014 13:57

I'll try and be brief! We have 3 DC. DS1 (4) currently in a single room on his own. B/G DTs (21m) currently in a double room together. We are considering a DC4 in a year or 2]so.

DS1 keeps asking to sleep in with DTs, he loves sharing with them when we go away etc. DTs will be moving to beds in about 6m. I thought it may make sense to have all 3 DC in the one room when this happens - using 2 bunk beds, DTs on lower, DS on top of one. This way DS1 is happy and will be used to sharing a room when the time comes for DD to need her own room (rather than leaving him on his own and then forcing him to move rooms to share with DS2 later when he may have decided his own room is quite nice!). It also allows DD to continue sharing with her twin until she feels ready to move as I am keen not to separate them until they are ready, so potentially not until puberty.

it also frees up the single room to be a nursery in the meantime if we do go for DC4. DC4 can then move to the spare bunk space and if a boy will stay in their with his brothers and if a girl we will move one set of bunks to the single room (its a generous single room) and have the boys in one and the girls in the other when DD1 is ready to leave her twin.

The double room is 14ft by 15ft so there is plenty of space and the children have a playroom of the same size so they don't play in their bedrooms, only sleep.

I think this is the best option but my MIL thinks I'm mad and DH isn't convinced. Your opinions please!

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MrsLettuce · 08/02/2014 13:59

Sounds like a totally sensible and very practical plan to me!

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OpalQuartz · 08/02/2014 14:07

Sounds a good idea to me, especially as he wants to. It might help him feel less of the odd one out

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Finola1step · 08/02/2014 14:07

Sounds great. My two dc decided they wanted to share a room after sharing on holiday. Turns out that ds 6 was feeling lonely in his room on his own. Dd 3 now sleeps much better in the same room as her brother.

I has always shared a room with my sister growing up. It never occurred to me that young children might prefer to share rather than have their own room because growing up, all I ever wanted was my own room.

If your dc want to share a room and it can be done, do it. I'm sure they will tell you when they are ready to stop sharing.

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17leftfeet · 08/02/2014 14:40

At those ages then its a perfectly sensible plan

I think you may be surprised by how long dd wants to share with her brothers though -if she gets to 6 without asking to move I would be shocked

I have a twin brother and by 3 we were no closer than any if our other siblings and by school we were fed up with being twins

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Vintagecakeisstillnice · 08/02/2014 14:43

Sounds fine to me, but then I come from a family of 8 kids growing up in a 3bed house Grin

Loads of scope for plotting. . . . .Grin

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glammanana · 08/02/2014 14:44

I think it is a very good idea and take no notice of your MIL and show your DH these replies,your eldest little man will not feel left out if he goes in with the babies now and he will form a closer bond with his brother for future years it also enables you to keep their bedroom neat and tidy once they are up and about in the morning and have the spare as a playroom/den.

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onedev · 08/02/2014 14:45

Sounds like a good idea to me.

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Nojustalurker · 08/02/2014 14:46

You may also thi k about what happens when they get older.

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imip · 08/02/2014 14:49

My 7, 5 and 3 yo share and love it! 2yo in with us! Wee have a 4 br house!

Dd4 needs to be evicted Grin so she will share with dd3. Not sure how it will all go, but if the room was big enough, we'd probably have all 4 dds share!

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Innogen · 08/02/2014 14:50

You have a play room as well? I'd be turning that into a bedroom.

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QueenofKelsingra · 08/02/2014 14:52

ooh I do like it when the responses go in my favour! Grin

17leftfeet that would be fine, as soon as she wants to she can move, I just want her to be able to make that call when she's ready, not be forced because we need to get the boys sharing before DS1 is attached to having his own space!

notjustalurker what do you mean specifically??

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QueenofKelsingra · 08/02/2014 14:54

innogen the playroom is downstairs (technically the dining room but we have an eat-in kitchen so don't need it as a dining room) so I wouldn't feel comfortable with using it as a bedroom. plus I like the separation of them having play space and sleep space.

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elliejjtiny · 08/02/2014 14:57

My oldest 3 share. They are 7, 5 and 3. DS4 (8 months) is currently in the moses basket in our room but he'll be going in their room when DH raises the cot base so it's the right height for a non mobile baby rather than a Houdini toddler.

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OpalQuartz · 08/02/2014 15:09

Friends of mine who shared their whole childhood say they were happy sharing pre teenage years but would have liked their own room as a teenager

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Floralnomad · 08/02/2014 15:13

I think its a brilliant plan especially as eventually the older one will have to share , long term a room of that size could easily be divided if they all want their own space . What exactly does your MIL think the issue is with it ?

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QueenofKelsingra · 08/02/2014 15:17

Opal we hope that by the time DCs are teens we will be in a position to upsize to allow that, or at least allow rooms to be divided up with partitioning to give personal space!

floral well setting aside the fact it is 'unfair' on DS1 to have had any more children, and that it was 'silly' to have had twins (because I had control of that Hmm ) it is apparently 'unhealthy' for DD to share with DS2 (the B/G thing I assume) and that it is 'unfair' on any of them to have to share at all.

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KarmaVersusGeorgeOsbourne · 08/02/2014 15:19

Yes it's absolutely fine, it's not like you're planning on keeping it that way until they are teens Grin

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MummytoMog · 08/02/2014 15:20

My two love sharing a room - when we went to Centre Parcs we got them a room each and they insisted on sharing (DD4 and DS2). At the moment they're in the same bed thanks to building work, but we are considering keeping one big bedroom as a playroom for now and having them room in together until they choose not to. We have DC3 on the way, so could do with an unoccupied room...

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FloppyRagdoll · 08/02/2014 16:26

I think all three sharing a room is great. I would raise a word of caution about bunk beds, though. There are quite a lot of accidents with small children and bunk beds; generally speaking, it is not recommended that children younger than 6 should use the upper bunk.

Of course, kids vary - my DDs 1 and 2 had bunk beds from when DD1 was not quite 6; I wouldn't have been happy with it when DD1 was 4, as she was very sleepy if she got up in the night to go to the loo and might well have stumbled.

www.fisher-price.com/en_US/playtime/parenting/articlesandadvice/articledetail.html?article=tcm:169-17894

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QueenofKelsingra · 08/02/2014 16:33

floppy that's a good point. We have found a bunk that has the lower bunk on the floor so the top bunk is at mid-sleeper level and it has actual stairs instead of a ladder which we think reduces the risk. also DS1 doesn't get up in the night, even if he needs us he just sits in bed and yells!

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Yama · 08/02/2014 16:49

My girl and boy share - they prefer it to being on their own.

I am one of 4. At various points of my childhood I shared with younger brother, younger brother and sister and just sister.

I think sharing with younger brother and sister was my favourite permutation.

Until my mid teens of course. Grin Then I needed my space.

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FloppyRagdoll · 08/02/2014 18:14

That sounds great, Queen. Especially if your DS1 just yells. (Lucky you.) (I am so glad my DCs are all growed up, now!)

BTW, my "all growed up" DDs, now aged 21 and 18, still very often choose to share a room, when they are at home together and their respective boyfriends aren't around.

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