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To think DP should be able to poo in less than 30 minutes?

(23 Posts)
TooManyButtons Sat 08-Feb-14 11:42:30

There's one toilet, and 3 people in this house. Every morning, when we're all waiting for the bathroom, he insists on shutting himself in there for at least half an hour. Why does it take so long? It's not just in the morning either, we can be putting our shoes on to go out when he suddenly disappears upstairs for an emergency poo, while we sit and wait for another half an hour before being able to leave the house. Aaaargh!

PuppyMonkey Sat 08-Feb-14 11:43:44

One of the great mysteries of the world - why men take so long to poo. grin

realhousewifeoffitzrovia Sat 08-Feb-14 11:43:45

I am eagerly watching this thread.

meisiemee Sat 08-Feb-14 11:49:06

Haha that has cracked me up shock men to take their time my DS is also following in DH footsteps on that!

Megrim Sat 08-Feb-14 11:49:21

Take away his book / phone / magazine / computer console ...

AnswersThroughHaiku Sat 08-Feb-14 11:49:33

Ten percent is poo;
The rest is Angry Birds,
Or perhaps wanking.

picnicbasketcase Sat 08-Feb-14 11:51:38

YANBU - I've never understood why they don't wait til it actually needs to come out rather than sitting there for ages expecting it'll arrive in the end.

vestandknickers Sat 08-Feb-14 11:52:02

He's skyping my DH!

My DH's quickset visit was 23 minutes. Yes, I time him.

bigbluebus Sat 08-Feb-14 11:55:14

Teen DS was in there for 1 hr 20 mins the other night. And that was only because I yelled at him to get out. I do not understand it - there are far more comfortable seats in our house. I just don't 'get' why they need a book/phone/tablet to be able to poo.

Bunbaker Sat 08-Feb-14 11:55:42

I have IBS. Sometimes I can spend that long in the loo. Have a little compassion.

Thank goodness we have more than one loo.

Vintagecakeisstillnice Sat 08-Feb-14 11:57:13

Other way around in our house.

Due to the bucketloads of very strong painkillers I'm on a trip to the loo is a prolonged painful experience. The urge is willing the . . . Damn I think how to end that one.

OH waits till the last possible second, but does enjoy giving a running commentary, as well as talking to me while I'm in there.

I'll happy swop your prolonged pooing for some silence, please. .

AppleAndBlackberry Sat 08-Feb-14 12:00:27

Really? Surely if he needs that long he needs that long. I'm sure it's annoying for you but I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

Littleen Sat 08-Feb-14 12:02:04

Hahaha, yes mine does often go in there with his book when I'm ready to head off wherever we're going. Though if he did that in the morning I'd be really annoyed!

LittleBabySqueakSqueak Sat 08-Feb-14 12:06:57

I'm appreciating it today. I had a shower first, so while DH has done his extended ablutions I've dressed the baby, dressed myself, put on make-up and straightened my hair (rare these days) and have been feeding the baby for the last half hour. Once he emerges we'll all be ready to go out. Been an hour so far, of which the shower was running for approximately 7 minutes. He also can't poo without book/phone/tablet.

VivienStanshall Sat 08-Feb-14 12:14:10

It's not all men. Of my friends I know one who does, and has a "toilet book" on the cabinet, and this is because it's the one place (married with three young kids) that he can guarantee peace and quiet.

lotsofcheese Sat 08-Feb-14 12:20:31

YANBU. I'm going to find something to do which will enable me to avoid family life for 30 mins too.

vestandknickers Sat 08-Feb-14 12:20:33

I have IBS. Sometimes I can spend that long in the loo. Have a little compassion.

I have plenty of compassion thank you. If you need to spend that long on the toilet then you have my sympathy. My DH doesn't have IBS, he just hides in there reading the Scotts of Stow catalogue.

LividofLondon Sat 08-Feb-14 12:33:02

I think the men who do this, who don't have some medical reason for taking so long, are just hiding away to avoid having to do chores or interact with their families. I bet if they were single parents they wouldn't take so long because they'd be the only ones doing the parenting and housework. I also wonder if they'd be quicker if they didn't take their gadgets or something to read in there with them hmm

BearPear Sat 08-Feb-14 12:33:46

Apparently it's bad for the bowel & can cause piles. If he is sat there with his bowels effectively "open" (I know, tmi) he could cause problems in the long term. Not that this helps your situation OP.

acsec Sat 08-Feb-14 12:37:50

DSS spends AGES in the toilet! DH is bad enough but at least he doesn't go while we're out. We were in a restaurant the other evening and DSS disappeared off just as we were about to order, came back 25 mins later! Had to send the waiter away 3 times as DSS hadn't told us what he wanted before he went pooing. Urgh, men! wink

itsbetterthanabox Sat 08-Feb-14 12:38:58

It's because men don't push. They wait. Weird.

NaffOrf Sat 08-Feb-14 12:41:12

It's because men don't push. They wait

I've had this from my DP too. I just don't get it. Apparently he needs a large mug of coffee and a copy of Viz just to get 'in the mood' confused

VivienStanshall Sat 08-Feb-14 12:42:16


You've just been told something you can do to have a 30 minute break!

You don't need to come up with something else.

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