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Feeling left out

(5 Posts)
glittertree Sat 08-Feb-14 10:57:07

I am so feeling left out with my family and I am a bit fed up of it ....My stepmother has made it very obvious over the years she doesn't like me much ranging from leaving me out as a bridesmaid at her wedding and including my brother and sister...to snidey comments ....
I have been going through a bit of a tough time recently which has seen me really suffering from anxiety which I sought cbt for life all feels a bit stressfull my husband runs his own business and I have a very energetic 3 year old to take care of and my mother in law is dying from a terminal illness so to say we are really feeling a bit under pressure at the moment as I am sure a million other people do every day in life ...
It's annoying me that my sister can send her children over to my dads and stepmums for sleepovers without a question so that she and her partner can go out and if it's not that then they are asked over for dinner visits etc,
I feel so pathetic to say that I feel totally left out ...they never include or ask if they can help us ...
I asked for babysitting duties for the first time and my father said he would help only never to turn up no one even gave us a phone call I felt really let down and hurt when I discovered that my sisters daughter had went over there that day instead for a sleep over I felt really annoyed
Made worse by the fact that I was upset at being let down and my sister casually remarking that her daughter had gone over!
I guess I am just feeling alone and because I have no one to help out I have no other family and sometimes I just need a break like everyone else i guess AIBU to feel left out ?

LimitedEditionLady Sat 08-Feb-14 10:59:21

No not at all hun.I have same situation with my mum but im not brave enough to confront them because im scared of hurting THEIR feelings.How stupid is that?

Nanny0gg Sat 08-Feb-14 11:01:23

Can you confront your dad about it?

Because things won't (possibly) change if you don't.

However, I'm sorry to say, if he didn't say anything about you being left out at his wedding, it doesn't look promising.

GoEasyPudding Sat 08-Feb-14 11:22:08

This is a hard situation and I am really sorry this is happening.
I wonder if it's worth a fresh start.

Actually have a conversation with them about it. You may need to be quite specific about what you want and when you want it. "On Tuesday I am going to this place and I would really appreciate your help from 10am -2pm by looking after kids at your house."

If it goes wrong again or they don't step up then you try to have a more difficult conversation with them about the unfairness and how it makes you feel and about how you really need them sometimes.

Best of luck with everything,

Jinty64 Sat 08-Feb-14 11:41:46

Your family are not going to change and are, forever, going to make you feel like this unless you change your attitude towards them. If they didn't include you in the wedding there is little hope.

You have a husband and a lovely little daughter who both love you. They are your family now. You need to move on. Stop asking for anything from them or giving anything to them, it's not making you happy and it will be their loss.

I'm sorry that your MIL is so unwell. You, as a family, need to be kind to yourselves. Can you afford any nursery or childcare for your little girl or do any of your neighbours have a teenager (even quite a young one) who would come in and play with her for a couple of hours for a bit of pocket money.

Ds3 was 4/5 when my Mum was really ill so he was in nursery/school so it was easier. We don't have other family (just the older boys) so couldn't really go out but planned little treats for ourselves, family nights with a DVD and pizza/popcorn, an M&S meal for 2 with wine etc. Don't be afraid to ask your GP or H/V for help if you need it. You will get through this.

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