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so sorry but another request for help

(14 Posts)
dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:29:21

My friend who fled with the help of women's aid saw a solicitor this morning who told her that she must hand over her child to his father as per the custody agreement despite women's aid telling her not to , he also told her that the ex has a good chance of custody as he has his own house and a good job and that he won't be able to get an injunction for her as he wasn't violent the abuse was all mental.

Can someone please tell me if this is right and if she should give her child to her ex and hope he hands him back at the end of visitation or follow women's aids advice and refuse access until she has residency in place.

sorry I know its probably a really stupid question but have been telling her to listen to women's aid but am worried that the wrong thing to say

cls77 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:55:34

Would like to help but dont know the story Op?

goodjambadjar Thu 06-Feb-14 17:55:45

I've not been in the situation myself but I would advise she change solicitors. Or at least get a second opinion from another solicitor. Is it a legal aid solicitor or one she found herself?

dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 17:58:49

It was a legal aid solicitor recommended by women's aid

jacks365 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:13:25

Who has custody? How much has gone through legal channels already?

tiredoutgran Thu 06-Feb-14 18:17:50

Don't hand the child over at any cost, listen to the people at women's aid and find another solicitor. If he has the child and applies for residence he will certainly get an interim order, if the child is with her it is unlikely the Court will remove the child until things are sorted out. Awful I know but 'possession' means a lot in these cases!

dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:19:39

They separated while pregnant with the child then got back together when he was still tiny but had an agreement in place sorted thru solicitors, she has physical custody of the child at the moment although he is on the birth certificate so if she gives him the child for his visitation he is under no obligation to hand him back

jacks365 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:46:13

What is the arrangement already agreed through the solicitors.

dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:52:03

he has the child one night thru the week and every second weekend

jacks365 Thu 06-Feb-14 18:58:04

Then don't hand him over.

dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 19:07:01

even though this is supposed to be his weekend ? jacks365

jacks365 Thu 06-Feb-14 19:20:58

I would second finding another solicitor too. It sounds like a lazy answer because he doesn't want the hassle. As it currently stands it is an amicable agreement between parents, the mum has just had to move cities into a shelter so cancelling this weekend would be reasonable in any case due to needing to settle the child into the new situation.

There is a couple of points though because the abuse is towards the mother not the child it won't affect custody or contact. The mother would be wise to not refuse contact completely but suggest supervised. If she's seen as obstructive then it will go against her.

dementedmumof6 Thu 06-Feb-14 19:42:50

she has suggested supervised and he has refused told her he is going for full custody and wants his weekend , she has been advised by women's aid not to hand over until a judge determines residency so that he must give him back after visitation which at the moment he doesn't have to.

she is hearing so much conflicting advice and the solicitor today completely threw her when he told her that chances are he would get full custody because he has a house and job, not taking into account so did she till she had to leave in a hurry , but will pass all this on and hope she is strong enough to cope

YouTheCat Thu 06-Feb-14 19:45:06

I think Women's aid would be horrified to hear what he has advised. She needs to go back to them and see if they can offer a different solicitor.

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