AIBU yo think oh is being a dick about things

[Sadoldbag]

Hi my oh older brother lives in irland and oh has not seen him in almost a year we both have had babies each have not seen



So for his birthday I asked brother to come over for a surprise visit he then suggested we all go over there and fil will kindly pay for our travel



however this requires oh to take one day off work he's pretty much told me unless he knows why he's not ringing HR and will just email to ask I need him to ring so I can book the ferry it's st patiricks day and if I leave it too long there will be no spaces


I think he's being a dick not sure why he can't just trust me I have already told him it's for a birthday treat I don't give a fig his mum hates me and I am not looking forward to staying with them however I know he loves his brother and will be gutted on e he finds out if he fails to book the day off

[Sadoldbag]

Why can't he just trust me and book the frigging day off I wishning now I didn't bother ffs

He's being very stubborn about booking the day off he always bloody dose this

[adoptmama]

Maybe he has to give them a reason for taking the day off. Many people do.

[DontmindifIdo]

I think your DP obviously doesn't want a surprise. Some people hate surprises, is he one of them?

Just tell him, he'll enjoy seeing his DB, it not being a surprise won't reduce that. You are being a bit of a dick too for not saying why he needs the day TBH.

(or you could call his HR office, explain the situation and ask them if they could help you surprise him by booking the day for him...)

[Sadoldbag]

He did say this I told him to tell them he has a appointment or something I sure he can think of something the man has 2 degrees.


He's just being difficult

[WooWooOwl]

Just tell him FFS! He's telling you that he doesn't want a surprise, he'd rather know, so you should listen to him. It's his birthday after all, so it's meant to be about what makes him happiest, not about giving you something to keep as a secret.

I'd be exactly the same in his position, I dont want to be surprised with trips away, even if they're ones I'd be guaranteed to like. I'd rather be able to look forward to it and think about it before it happened.

I think you're being a bit selfish by keeping it to yourself for no reason even though you're trying to do a nice thing, because you are the only one who is getting any pleasure out of it being a surprise.

[Sadoldbag]

Well I have told him now

Spoil sport

[Sadoldbag]

He's gonna ring HR when he stops driving

[Suelford]

It wouldn't have even been a surprise, he'd have worked it out as soon as you headed for the ferry.

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

I have to admit I hate surprises. I would want to know before I rang as well.

[Belacoros]

After the age of 6, most people don't like surprises. People especially will not take you seriously if you tell them to book a day off work because "it's a surprise." He can't tell that to HR. Do you want him to lie to them? Would you act like that at your job?

[PowderMum]

OP I agree with you, men are just frustrating, my OH would be just the same and then as soon as he knew what was a happening he would want to take over organising it because he is so much better at it than me
GRR you'd never believe that I was a respected senior manager if you listened to him sometimes, just someone who couldn't drive to the end of the road without getting lost.

NB I wouldn't have had a clue how to contact his HR dept to book a day off for him, although I have had this happen in reverse when I have been running HR and I always found it fun to be in on a surprise.

[Belacoros]

Really, you let third parties ring up and book days off without your staff's knowledge or consent?

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

And I might point out that when I was working, I would have been VERY annoyed at DH if he had booked a day off through my HR without my knowledge or consent, regardless of whether or not it was a "surprise" for me. I would not expect him to interfere with my work any more than I would interfere with his.