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Wondering about correct protocol

(83 Posts)
Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:03:42

Hello there! So I've just started a new job and I'm a bit clueless about what's acceptable and what's not in the kind of situation I'm in.

I'm being sent for about 4 days to an office in a different city just to get a better feel of the role, and my employers have boooked accommodation for me. This is obviously great, but there is a wee problem that I'm facing. I have my older sister visiting me from abroad at the moment. She's my only family and is more like a mother to me. That week will be her last few days in the country and I really don't see the point of us being apart. If she comes with me we can at least spend the some of that time together. I'd book her in a different hotel, but the closest one is quite a distance away and is also very, very expensive.

So is it unacceptable for me to have her stay with me in the same room as the one the company have booked for me? The hotel obviously has no issues with it because the room is suitable for two people, but do I need to seek permission from my employers since they are paying for it?

And will I come across as strange and needy if I ask them about this?? I wouldn't want to send out the wrong impression so soon into my job.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:04:44

Please excuse any spelling and grammatical errors as I have typed in a hurry from my phone!

Featherbag Tue 04-Feb-14 23:10:31

I can't see why anyone would have a problem with this, it's not like you're costing them any extra or asking for time off!

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:32:05

But do I need to ask them first?

foreverondiet Tue 04-Feb-14 23:36:01

I probably wouldn't ask employer, but might mention it in conversation.

eg Thought I might be lonely in the evenings but I was lucky that my sister came to see me. If they ask where she stayed can tell them.

FWIW I used to work away quite a bit and DH (or DP as he was then) occasionally came to stay in the hotel overnight. Never occurred to me to ask. Didn't cost anything, or if they did charge extra (eg breakfast) I'd pay it myself.

jacks365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:37:32

Some companies would class it as misconduct and be part of the disciplinary procedure. I would recommend not doing it.

Goldmandra Tue 04-Feb-14 23:39:14

They may be being charged less for single occupancy so you need to tell them if that will change.

Just say there's something nearby she wants to do during that day and you'll be able to have a farewell dinner in the evening. That doesn't sound needy.

I'd offer to pay half the room costs though.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:40:09

Im quite junior in the company and I'm literally still being trained so I don't want to overstep my bounds. Some other people from my team are also going and will be booked in the same hotel so I don't want there to be any tattling or awkwardness just because I didn't ask...

Goldmandra Tue 04-Feb-14 23:40:55

BTW we did this when DH was sent overseas for work. We cleared it with them and paid for flights for me and DD. DH's boss told him off because he didn't claim his portion of the meals out we had there.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:41:37

I've already checked with the hotel (which has already been paid for) and they said it didn't matter if it was one or two people staying there

VoyageDeVerity Tue 04-Feb-14 23:41:45

No don't do this.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:44:08

All the people who are saying don't do this: does it refer to letting mys sister stay there without asking first or asking about it in the first place?

jacks365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:47:50

Do not do it without confirming and getting the ok from your company. My dsis company has very strict rules on this and no one is allowed to share the room.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:48:24

I guess it's different with a spouse or partner isn't it? They probably wouldn't understand why I needed to have my sister there.

onlyfortonight Tue 04-Feb-14 23:48:36

I would do it, and in fact I have! I let my boss know before hand, and he was....meh!

You are intending to do your work, it won't cost them a penny and what you do in your own time in the evening is entirely up to you (within reason....wink)!

MrsCakesPremonition Tue 04-Feb-14 23:49:49

I would just ask your boss. It will probably be fine but if they are sending several people together, they might be thinking of it as a chance for you all to get to know each other as start working as a team and expecting you to socialise together/eat meals together etc.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:50:23

Ok, better not to risk it. I won't just take her with me without asking first.

So this brings me to the final dilemma? Should I even ask? Or will it give out a bad impression this early on in the job?

jacks365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:50:43

It very much depends on the company my dsis couldn't have her husband with her.

Janet365 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:52:04

We do have team dinners etc planned. But other than that, I doubt we are expected to spend every evening together since we are already spending the whole day together.

bunchoffives Tue 04-Feb-14 23:52:58

Ask first - it shows that you are aware that you are being paid to go on this trip and the company are investing in you. It is just a common courtesy, particularly as you are new and do not know what their response is likely to be.

Just explain to them like you have in your OP without the big sister like a mum/you will miss her/needy bit

They can only say no.

starfishmummy Tue 04-Feb-14 23:54:05

I know people who have done this, the room rate was the same and they just paid for the extra breakfast/any other extras. However they were completely upfront about it with the company.

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 04-Feb-14 23:54:38

MrsCakes has a point - you may well be expected to mix with your colleagues. If you turn up with someone else it could look pretty odd and, to them, rude. Wait till a bit nearer the time and Sussed out the dynamics of the company. Either way, I certainly wouldn't do it without mentioning it, especially as other colleagues will be there.

Janet365 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:02:04

My team and I will be doing lunches etc together, but I'm not one for late nights and drinking anyway.

Chippednailvarnish Wed 05-Feb-14 00:09:05

I would not be impressed if a new recruit brought a relative along to a company trip and even less so if they asked if the relative could share the room the company were paying for.

You should be looking to make a good impression, bringing your sister along makes you look odd. As for saying that your not one for "late nights and drinking", you may find that this is a team building exercise and you will be expected to join in.

Janet365 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:09:14


I definitely wouldn't mention the bit about my sister being like a mum to me grin I just mentioned it here to explain to all of you why I was trying to do all this.

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