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to email my high flyer cousin?

(25 Posts)
blackblazernightmare Tue 04-Feb-14 17:20:27

Basically DH is stuck in a dead end job. The pay is ok, but they're always making people redundant, it's an industry in decline, and eventually he will get made redundant too. We know this.

He wants to sidestep into another area of the same industry which is growing and growing. Trouble is he needs training and experience, which his current employer won't give him. He's tried applying for lesser paid jobs in this part of his industry but he's up against graduates 10 years younger than him and it just isn't happening.

Anyway, was chatting with my dad recently and he just happened to mention that my 2nd cousin, his cousin's son, has just been made head of a massive department in a huge national company that does exactly what DH is looking for. It's a really senior role he has recently taken on following a pretty stellar career.

AIBU to email him? To explain who I am and ask for advice for DH? I will be honest and say I met him maybe once as children. BUT my dad and his dad are in touch and have lunch maybe twice a year, and our grandmothers were very close sisters. He will know who I am when he gets the email if I send it.

I know it may sound creepy and stalkery but we need a break for DH - advice please?

Melonbreath Tue 04-Feb-14 17:21:34

Yanbu. The worst you'll get is a no.
I'd email asking if oh can send a c.v

LadyKooKoo Tue 04-Feb-14 17:21:51

Do it now! You have nothing to lose.

Poledra Tue 04-Feb-14 17:22:59

Ask for advice about how DH gets into this area of work yes.

Ask for a job, no grin

The worst that can happen is that he doesn't have time to answer you.

eurochick Tue 04-Feb-14 17:23:18

I think it is reasonable to ask for advice. As long as you don't make it awkward by asking for a job, I think it'll be fine. I wouldn't send a CV. Just ask if you can take him out for coffee/lunch to get some advice about how to transition into the industry.

sebsmummy1 Tue 04-Feb-14 17:23:55

I think you have nothing to lose. If nepotism didn't exist half of Parliament would be unemployed.

WhyIRayLiotta Tue 04-Feb-14 17:24:04

Absolutely YANBU do it now!

BiscuitMillionaire Tue 04-Feb-14 17:26:19

Yes, ask for advice. People generally like being asked for their advice, it makes them feel good to give it. You could ask if he'd be happy to look over your DH's CV with any advice on how to market himself.

barnet Tue 04-Feb-14 17:26:24

Definately get in touch asking for advice, ask him to look at a great CV you have ready. People like to be needed and to give advice.

MaxPepsi Tue 04-Feb-14 17:28:54


Life has always been a case of who you know, not what you know.

Fingers crossed.

Crowler Tue 04-Feb-14 17:30:05

This is how people get jobs! Do it. Good luck.

GingerMaman Tue 04-Feb-14 17:31:51

I would and if he is half decent he will help you out, one way or the other smile

Trapper Tue 04-Feb-14 17:32:04

Ask for advice and suggest a meeting, maybe ask if high flier (HF) will review CV.

HermioneWeasley Tue 04-Feb-14 17:34:40

Agree to ask for advice and maybe a CV review. As a high flier your cousin will know the value of networking and hopefully be happy to help

StumbledintoMayhem Tue 04-Feb-14 17:36:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magimedi Tue 04-Feb-14 17:38:58

Go for it. Blood is thicker than water, at the very least you should get some advice.

And let us know what happens, please.

JapaneseMargaret Tue 04-Feb-14 17:41:16

I would definitely contact him, but give it a bit of thought before you whack off an email.

Think about the best/most affective approach, word it well/properly, and try to come across well.

It's all in the approach.

nessus Tue 04-Feb-14 17:41:34

I did what biscuit recommended to a niche industry recruiter I came across on LinkedIn last weekend and he got back offering a meeting for this week. I see him on Thursday!

Do it!! Not asking for a job but for advice on getting ahead and a CV appraisal.

blackblazernightmare Tue 04-Feb-14 17:43:01

Thanks all. Yes will ask for advice rather than a job - would be great if he could help dh get his foot in the very hard to open door! Will let you know what he says though will feel a bit mortified if he doesn't reply!

sisterofmercy Tue 04-Feb-14 17:43:42

Most men would think nothing of networking and asking someone they are distantly connected to for advice/coaching/mentoring. You could break the ice and then your husband could perhaps have a chat. But make sure DH is totally up for it first.

HildaOgden Tue 04-Feb-14 18:10:30

Before you do anything,make sure it is what your husband wants.After all,it's his life.If you go ahead and try fixing him up,so to speak,without his say-so then you might run into trouble.

blackblazernightmare Tue 04-Feb-14 18:11:46

No, he's totally on board with me emailing! I wouldn't do it otherwise.

Poppy67 Tue 04-Feb-14 18:13:09

Shouldn't your dh contact this cousin? I think it is weak that you would contact him - you are grown people. It makes your husband look far from proactive, more of a mummy's boy.

ShoeSmacking Tue 04-Feb-14 18:20:53

Personally, I would definitely email but I would start by getting my dad to mention to his dad that you are going to get in touch. Lay the groundwork as it is. Then send a note. Ask if dh can take him to lunch to discuss options. Then leave them to talk. Thank him nicely. Also, if he turns out to be a nice guy you may also have a new family member to engage with generally!

newyearhere Tue 04-Feb-14 21:02:02

By all means write a brief email asking if it's OK for your DH to get in touch. Start by being friendly and asking how they other person is, and maybe complimenting them on the job they now have. But then back right off and leave the rest to your DH.

I agree with others that your DH should offer lunch. No-one wants to get the reputation of someone who only gets in touch when they want something, so offering lunch is at least an offer to return the favour to some extent.

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