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AIBU to think that it is never ok for a man to hit a woman?

(54 Posts)
Giggity Fri 31-Jan-14 20:24:39

I was talking to my boyfriend and he said that sometimes a man could hit a woman but I kept on telling him that is is totally unacceptable. Do you think there are some situations where a man can hit a woman?

qazxc Fri 31-Jan-14 21:42:29

It is not ok to hit anyone, regardless of sex.

following Fri 31-Jan-14 21:45:24

i agree with him , if any one hit me they would get hit back ,man or woman , sod the walking away rubbish , thats just letting some one walk all over you .

scantilymad Fri 31-Jan-14 21:53:53

Ideally no one would hit anyone. But coming from a history of an extremely abusive relationship I think any man who resorts to violence against anyone, man or woman, is a complete was of oxygen. Unless the other party (whether a woman or not) was putting the man's life at risk and he had to be forceful to get away, then he should not retaliate. Violence against anyone literally sickens me. It's not "beif walked on" not to retaliate. It usually prevents escalation if anything.
I vehemently disagree with your partner.

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 21:56:33

How do people know when someone's new or MN or when they've just name changed?

Genuine question btw. Is there a way to tell?

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 21:56:46


AnyFucker Fri 31-Jan-14 21:59:36

call it intuition

scantilymad Fri 31-Jan-14 22:01:25

Check profile? Does it show joining dates etc?

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 31-Jan-14 22:02:49

Are we talking self defence?

Because, yes he is right, everyone has the right to defend themselves against a physical attack.

WorraLiberty Fri 31-Jan-14 22:03:06

Oh right, it's just I'm reading it a lot lately and I thought you all knew something I didn't grin

MamaPain Fri 31-Jan-14 22:05:13

If I hit anyone man or woman I would deem it an acceptable response for that person to hit me back.

Fanny is not a free pass.

Many women are bigger than many men, you can't say a chromosome makes one situation fair and just but the other is wrong.

Other example, if a woman was attacking my child, and DH was the only person around I would feel him totally within his rights to intervene and use violence if necessary.

AnyFucker Fri 31-Jan-14 22:05:39

Trust the feeling in your water wink

LeBearPolar Fri 31-Jan-14 22:08:00

The phrasing of the title really irritates me. I hate the way it implies that it's OK for a woman to hit a man somehow. It's not OK for anyone to hit anyone, OP - does that clear it up for you?

MoominIsGoingToBeAMumWaitWHAT Fri 31-Jan-14 22:13:37

No-one should hit anyone.

We - my brother and sister and I - were taught as children that if we hit someone, regardless of gender, we should expect to be hit back. Being a woman doesn't give us free reign to think we can hit people without repercussions.

In an ideal world, no-one would hit, and then no-one would feel the need to retaliate. Gender has no bearing on this at all. Physical strength shouldn't matter a jot; if you're willing to start on someone, you should be willing to accept the consequences, even if the person you started on is twice your size.

Twattyzombiebollocks Fri 31-Jan-14 22:27:16

As most other people have said, there's never a good enough excuse for anyone to hit anyone regardless of gender or provocation. I'd take an equally dim view of a woman hitting a man as a man hitting a woman.

brokenhearted55a Fri 31-Jan-14 23:21:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moomin am trying to get DS to realise at the moment that even if he's just pretending to hit another person he's likely to get hurt in return. Few incidents at kindergarten recently!

I do think it's massively hypocritical when people say that a man should never hit a woman but then don't blink an eye at the concept of a man hitting a man.

Littleen Fri 31-Jan-14 23:47:04

if a woman hits a man he can a) run away or b) restrain her so she can't hit him again. never hit her back. The only times a man can hit a woman is if training boxing/martial arts etc, then obviously it's to be expected. It's not acceptable for anyone to hit anyone though, but a man (who is often larger and/or stronger than a woman) should be better than that. Pick on someone his own size if he must smile

MoominIsGoingToBeAMumWaitWHAT Fri 31-Jan-14 23:51:52

Littleen - why is it less 'acceptable' for a man to hit a woman? Why should he be better than that, but a woman can be excused?

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 31-Jan-14 23:52:57


Attitudes like yours allow domestic abuse to continue.

It might be more common for women to be the victim of DV but men often are too.

rabbitlady Sat 01-Feb-14 00:25:55

your ex-boyfriend? if not, why not?


my old dad sits at my dying (slowly, she's taking years about it and she doesn't have any worrying diseases) mother's bedside, holding her hand and telling her he loves her. she kisses and gnaws on his fingers because 'my mouth likes your hands'.

but i remember the black eyes, the thumps, the fear of the angry man. being sent to make peace by taking in food to him.

i don't have any answers. i told her to leave him. but if she had, she wouldn't have had his support now.

FlockOfTwats Sat 01-Feb-14 00:45:14

I don't think hitting should ever be acceptable, But i think there are circumstances where it is more understandable, regardless of gender.

I have been hit by two men, One i thoroughly deserved. I hit him first. He reacted in equal measure. I don't think the fact that i am a woman makes that any better or worse.

Another man hit me, on the knee, with a bockan (Sp, its a big wooden sword shaped object). Because i told him to shut his mouth making some horrible jokes about my friend having cancer.

I do not think the first mans actions are anything like the second mans.

FlockOfTwats Sat 01-Feb-14 00:50:31

My dp punched me in the mouth once - to be fair, he was asleep

I'm always injuring my family members in my sleep. I have punched DP in my sleep, And DD usually gets in the way of my sleeping activities! I rolled over once and dug my elbow into her hip, I went to sit up half asleep and lent on her hair and took some of it out - Woken up fully by the screams.

One night she woke me up, pitch fucking black, stood over me, talking in some sort of darth vadar imitation voice. Well. I nearly shat the bed. I jumped up, arms flailing and screaming and managed to clock her one round the chops.

People really should avoid me when i'm asleep. I am a danger! I felt awful.

RonaldMcDonald Sat 01-Feb-14 00:52:46

Self defence is completely valid

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 01-Feb-14 00:58:08

What a stupid post!

ChippingInWadesIn Sat 01-Feb-14 01:06:04

First post on MN - a goading load of nonsense - posts then leaves...

Why bother answering people, it's just another wind up.

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