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Not to work?

(15 Posts)
benetint Fri 31-Jan-14 13:01:22

At the moment I look after my toddler and preschooler full time. My daughter takes quite a bit of coaxing to go to bed but I'm normally down the stairs just before 8pm. I start work at 8pm, I usually fuvish just after 9.30 then I just about have enough time to hang the laundry before my daughter's up again, wanting me to sleep by her side. I know I need to sort the sleeping thing out but my four year old has had breathing problems since she was born and has been in hospital several times needing nebulisers. If I were to leave her to cry she would start breathing uncontrollably and scratch her eczema on her wrists till they bleed so I just can't seem to change the sleep issue at the moment.

So I'm just a bit knackered I think and I'm not getting any time to exercise so I feel a bit rubbish about myself. I'm quite concerned about health in general as I've recently lost my mum and Aunty who we're only in their sixties so u really want to look after myself we'll and be there for my kids.

I took on the evening work when we were short of cash. The money has been nice but we don't really need it any more. I feel very guilty letting my students down though. What would you do? Maybe everyone's life is like this and I just need to readjust my expectations?

Ithinkwerealonenow Fri 31-Jan-14 13:03:42

If you don't need the money, and your family life is suffering, and - most importantly - you don't want to work at the moment, then why do it?

shootingstar1234 Fri 31-Jan-14 13:04:03

If you can afford not to work and feel you would be happier not working then do so. Your family and well being should come first. Do you not have a partner to help you with the children?

If you don't need the money now and it is affecting the quality of your life - which it sounds like it is - then give it up.

manicinsomniac Fri 31-Jan-14 13:05:19

If you don't need to do it and you don't want to do it then I certainly wouldn't do it long term.

If people are relying on you for what you are doing currently then I would see the job through wit these people then quit.

WooWooOwl Fri 31-Jan-14 13:08:34

If you can afford it on your husbands wage without having to claim benefits then go for it.

You put in the extra work when you needed to for the money, but if you don't need that anymore then your family would rather have you happy and healthy than have you exhausted but with a bit more money to spend.

You can always find more part time work when your children start school.

benetint Fri 31-Jan-14 18:35:50

Aw thank you for replying

missymayhemsmum Sat 01-Feb-14 00:02:52

Well if it is messing up your life, then yanbu to give it up. On the other hand work that fits round the kids and can be done from home is hard to come by, and if you jack it in you may regret it in a few months/ years, and as you say you'd be letting down your students.
Sounds like you are indeed feeling a bit rubbish and knackered, as you say. What if you decided to carry on till the end of the year/ term/ course and use the cash for childcare to give yourself a break and get some exercise or time for yourself in the day?

SavoyCabbage Sat 01-Feb-14 00:07:04

Can't you get the washing done before the evening? Can you get your dd involved with helping during the day so you don't have so much to do later?

Once I reach about 8.30 I've had enough and I'm pretty much useless so I know how you feel. There's not enough hours in the day.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 01-Feb-14 00:07:15

If it is right for your family then of course yabu!

legoplayingmumsunite Sat 01-Feb-14 00:15:04

It's up to you if you work or not. There are a couple of other things that jump out though:

Nowhere do you mention an OH. Do you not have one (and if you've separated do they regularly spend time with the kids to give you a break?) or is he a bit useless and uninvolved with the kids? If that's the case then I think he needs a talking to about doing some parenting when he's not at his paid work to give you a break, say he goes and lies with your DD when she wakes at 2130. How about tomorrow morning just getting up and saying 'I'm going to the gym/swimming/for a run' and then just leaving the house and letting the other adult in the house cope with being a parent. You need to reclaim some time for yourself and he needs to step up to the mark.

Scratch sleeves would help with your DD's eczema and might help a bit with the sleep (obviously the breathing problems are more of an issue there).

Thirdly you said about students so are you some kind of tutor or teacher? Is there any way you could put your kids in childcare for a day and work then at a more sociable hour? I think long term it's good for you to keep a foot in the workplace, even if it is very hard at the moment with 2 LOs. But having a better plan for giving you time to work will make a big difference, rather than squeezing it into the gaps between parenting.

maddening Sat 01-Feb-14 00:22:59

can you do your work in mornings and send toddler (if over 2) and preschooler to preschool in the mornings and they might enjoy having their sibling there too - preschool is v affordable ime

Chottie Sat 01-Feb-14 03:52:42

If you can afford it, give the work up, you sound very stressed and exhausted. Put your family and your health first.

Regarding your students, I don't mean to sound rude, but no-one is irreplaceable and I am sure someone else will be able to take over your teaching. Also if you are so tired and stressed, are you really able to give your best to your students?

MrsSeanBean1 Sat 01-Feb-14 04:56:30

Have you contacted your health visitor? They can often refer you to the local sleep clinic who can help you will little ones who won't sleep through. Our local one is brilliant!

benetint Sat 01-Feb-14 19:34:51

Thank you everyone for your ideas, I really appreciate it.

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