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to think this mother needs reporting?

(192 Posts)
piklepants Thu 30-Jan-14 04:37:59

School pick up yesterday and one Mum picked her 4 yr old son up and she was wobbly drunk smelling of alcohol. A couple of other mums noticed (She wasn't driving but this is stil not on is it?) she was speaking to a teacher and I'm not sure if the teacher noticed but I saw teacher watch them walk away. Wwyd?

Sillybillybob Thu 30-Jan-14 07:22:38

Who has said its fine?! No one!

People are just saying that IF it is a one-off (and OP hasn't mentioned having noticed it before) then there MAY be a reason for it. It's far from ideal to collect your child whilst visibly drunk but perhaps she lost a baby the year before. Perhaps a parent had died. Perhaps a close family member had been diagnosed with cancer. There are a million and one reasons why a person may have a drink during the day when normally that would be unacceptable to them. As many many posters had said she could have been to a funeral.

I am amazed that so many of don't seem to know anyone who has ever needed a drink to get through one of the harder days in life:

Nerfmother Thu 30-Jan-14 07:23:46

Mention to the teacher. Lots of people have bad news and celebrations and don't get wobbly drunk during the day when in charge of a child. Those that do tend to have a problem. Ime (which is limited to knowing lots of mums and two very closely related alcoholics)

YouTheCat Thu 30-Jan-14 07:29:58

Having a glass of wine/beer with lunch is one thing. Having enough alcohol to make you unsteady on your feet is another.

I wouldn't report though. Schools have procedures for these things and if they hadn't felt she was okay to take her child they would have called SS.

PiperRose Thu 30-Jan-14 07:32:02

It doesn't matter if it's a one-off. She is breaking the law, it is illegal to be drunk and responsible for a child. What if they got home and she passed out on the sofa?

I would have reported it to the school safeguarding professional. She may already be open to social services, if not the professional would make the decision whether it needed reporting or not.

pictish Thu 30-Jan-14 07:32:21

If this was a one off, then I think 'reporting' her, would be overblown and histrionic. I would suggest anyone given to do so, find an interest or hobby that will refrain them from creating a drama out of other people's affairs, in which they may insert themselves.

If it happened regularly, then more understandable.

AramintaDeWinter Thu 30-Jan-14 07:35:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseThen Thu 30-Jan-14 07:36:58

So this woman had a drink for some reason, picked the child up, spoke to the teacher about why she wasn't at her best but would be ok and is now subject of a Schooltime Special: School Mums Investigate (and report! Exciting!)

pictish Thu 30-Jan-14 07:38:21

Apocalypse - spot on! And amusingly so!

Ilovexmastime Thu 30-Jan-14 07:41:12

Agree with other posters, if it's a one off then leave it alone.

DrNick Thu 30-Jan-14 07:42:25

there is no evidence from OP she was incapable of looking after the kid is there?

StanleyLambchop Thu 30-Jan-14 07:47:44

Maybe the wobbliness was not connected to the drinking. There may be something else causing that, and then she had a small drink at lunchtime, to account for the smell. You just don't know all the facts. If she could get up to school to collect, and have a conversation with the teacher then it does not sound like she was totally off her face. I often have a glass of wine at home, in the evening, the children are around, I am not drunk but I would not be able to drive them anywhere in an emergency? Would you report me for that?

Paintyfingers Thu 30-Jan-14 07:51:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairymonkey Thu 30-Jan-14 07:53:00

I was a bit 'wobbly' after having 2 glasses of wine at lunch with an old friend. I didn't have to pick the kids up,

The point is I wasn't hammered and staggering, I don't normally drink very much and rarely in the daytime so I guess the wine had a more pronounced effect.

It would most likely have been more obvious if I had to go to the school as I would be worried about other parents and teachers thinking I was a lush and reporting me. I'm sure it will all be fine.

following Thu 30-Jan-14 08:05:39

make sure you have your facts right first , there were 2 mums at my dc school that looked drunk and wobbly but they both had very serious illnesses , they were not like it everyday as symptoms changed day to day.

CaptainGrinch Thu 30-Jan-14 08:14:01

Really? As long as she didn't turn up singing "Inky Pinky Parlez Vous" & try to snog the head before screeching off in a clatter of scattered dustbins I think you're overreacting slightly.

I'm pretty sure I picked my kids up from school after having had a lunchtime tipple or 2, didn't realise it was rare or a crime (what's the legal limit for parenting?).

OHforDUCKScake Thu 30-Jan-14 08:14:09

I picked my son up from school after two glasses of bubbly on my 30th birthday. I wasnt pissed but I certainly felt the affects and I was so paranoid, it was a an unpleasant feeling thats for sure.

Its not normal to pick a child up drunk.

I know a mum who reeks of beer most days but she never seems drunk. <shrugs> what is there to report?

But if this mum looked pissed then the teacher really needs to say/do something.

Tryharder Thu 30-Jan-14 08:19:02

Report to whom?


Do you think she's an alcoholic who's regularly drunk or someone who went out for a ONE OFF lunch and had a bit too much.

Until I knew which one, I would consider it none of my business.

JakeBullet Thu 30-Jan-14 08:19:08

I have some experience of this situation.....years ago a mother took her child to the local walk in medical centre. The child had a high temp and the centre sent her to the GP.

They then phoned me (I was her HV at the time) and reported that she had smelled of alcohol. However, they watched her drive away hmm to the GP.

This was not the first time someone had reported this mother smelling of alcohol to me and I arranged a visit to see her.

Thankfully I knew her pretty well by this time as her child was 3 and had attended clinic regularly. FWIW I had never smelt alcohol on her.

When I visited her we had a chat about various issues and then I simply asked her about alcohol. She blanched (poor woman sad) went a bit quiet but then disclosed a severe alcohol problem that she really wanted help with. She was drinking daily and massive amounts of spirits.....

Last time I saw her she had been dry for three years smile.

On at least one occasion she told me she was glad her alcohol use had been noticed as it spurred her in to get the help she needed.

Obviously that is a nice positive story....

A not so positive one is my cousins wife who has Huntingdons Disease and who has also been reported for alcohol issues.....she isn't drunk....she's ill.

JenBehavingBadly Thu 30-Jan-14 08:21:26

If it's not a regular occurrence the reporting her is way OTT.

I'm go smacked that folk would think of reporting a one off. Is life really that dull?

LiberalLibertine Thu 30-Jan-14 08:23:46

Yes, and can't diabetes smell like alcohol on the breath?

If it's a one off and she spoke to the teacher I'd mind my own business.

Shlurpbop Thu 30-Jan-14 08:25:15

I would be having a quiet word with teacher and confirming that the mother does not have uncontrolled diabetes first.
There was a 'fallen over drunk' man in our local town once. Everyone ignored, looked disgusted etc.
Turned out he had diabetes and had gone hypo - think that's the correct term .
Anyway, it can make you look, sound and smell drunk.

Shlurpbop Thu 30-Jan-14 08:26:02

Ooh, great minds liberal !

FederationPresidentBarryFife Thu 30-Jan-14 08:26:40

smelling of beer (but not being rolling drunk) long term is far more cause for concern IMO than a one off staggering drunk. One indicates a long term issue the other is UNUSUAL - it must be or the OP wouldn't have noticed it. So I say - butt out.

LittleBearPad Thu 30-Jan-14 08:31:12

If she was as wobbly as you say and was talking to the teacher they will have noticed. If it's a regular occurrence the school will have noticed.

So it really isn't any of your business is it. And Slurpbop why would a teacher disclose medical information about another parent. That would be incredibly unprofessional.

Joysmum Thu 30-Jan-14 08:35:20

I'm another one who'd be keeping an eye out and reporting only if it wasn't a one off.

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