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To hate Clearblue with a passion

(76 Posts)
FlockOfTwats Wed 29-Jan-14 03:42:40

I need to tell someone how much i hate Clearblue. The rage I feel whenever i see that god forsaken advert is just not normal. I just don't think it's normal to hate an advert so much, and i don't believe that anyone keeps a pile of £10 a go pregnancy tests laying around to pee on incase a visitor drops by.

Please, Either share your stories advert induced rage with me, or send some form of help as i fear that i WILL murder the TV next time i hear 'I'm 1 to 2 weeks pregnant'. Who says it like that anyway?

BratinghamPalace Wed 29-Jan-14 03:53:48

I have often said that some creative person needs to make a short film about those things. They are a God for a certain time in women's lives. Every intense emotion that is possible to have can and are shaded with that bloody thing on the loo!

plentyofsoap Wed 29-Jan-14 04:12:39

They are so expensive! I got loads of tests for a couple of pounds at home bargins. They do same thing.

ChineseFireball Wed 29-Jan-14 04:12:58

The thing I don't get about them is that the display shows 1-2 weeks pregnant. As I understand it, you date your pregnancy from LMP, so on an 'average' 28-day cycle with a 14-day luteal phase, 1 week pregnant would be before ovulation and 2 weeks pregnant would be around ovulation. So not (yet) pregnant at all. Are these tests psychic future-telling magic peesticks or something?

FobblyWoof Wed 29-Jan-14 04:37:50

grin At psychic tests. They go on conception dates rather than LMP so the woman in the advert should have told her friend that she was 3-4 weeks pregnant. I can't stand that advert either.

Another one which really got on my goat was the visit California one from a couple of years ago where they had a bunch of celebrities try and convince you to to come and visit. Kim Kardashian's line was something like "there are a lot of misconceptions about California, but none of them are true." That would be why they're misconceptions wouldn't it?! angry Did you by any chance mean preconception? Argh! It gives me the rage with good ole Kim K but I suppose it's not her fault- she didn't write the script.

DameDeepRedBetty Wed 29-Jan-14 04:50:49

Fobbly did you ever see this?

Clearly that ad got someone else's goat too!

MummyBeerest Wed 29-Jan-14 05:17:56

I fucking hate those commercials too.

Imagine my disappointment when all I got was a bored, mumbly technician who yawned midway through my ultrasound instead of a sharply dressed, smiling doctor who analyzed my scan on a big X-ray board.

1-2 weeks. ..bullshit. Does it ever say anything else?

And you just know some dipshit is waiting for Clearblue to release the test that tells you if it's a boy or girl.



Thatisall Wed 29-Jan-14 05:18:32

I don't like the Hive one, not do I understand why I would need it to 'control my heating at home'. I don't like the but often one where it basically makes out that a pill cures flu like symptoms on mere seconds (and presumably prevents you from passing in infection to your students, colleagues, customers).
I hate all the supermarket comparison adverts. Oi snowmen! Fuck off!
The weight watchers ones suck and I think it's ridiculous that the woman on the clear blue advert is telling visitors of her pregnancy at '2 weeks' and without having been checked out by the gp or midwife.

But... The one that really gives me the mean reds these days is the Calgon advert. Grrrrrr! All that phony, scripted 'chatting' just pisses me off.

There I'm done, can someone bring me a cold flannel please

woodlandwanderwoman Wed 29-Jan-14 06:28:29

I HATE the Aptamil advert. Some bloody perfectly groomed mother with her perfectly behaved spotless happy kid in a perfectly spotless beautiful tidy house, a summer breeze coming in through perfectly white floaty curtains from the perfect little flowers outside ... That's what breast feeding is like for all of us isn't it?

It's a great example of how to feel like a shit mother when you're sat on the sofa feeding at 9am after being woken 4 times in the night AGAIN, gritting your teeth through the pain of latching on whilst your baby cries and wriggles because it's going through yet another change, as you reach desperately for the water to quench the fiery thirst and look around wondering when you'll ever have time to make the house look even normal again let alone when you're going to put up your floaty curtains and plant flowers.

Then that awful woman says "Should you choose to move on..."... Why would I if my life was that perfect? Really? Tell me why I would? Surely I would sit in breast feeding bliss until my child was 3, no? I chose move on because it wasn't that flipping perfect!! And the less perfect things were, the more the advert came on. Rant over.

NB I actually really enjoyed breastfeeding and will definitely feed our next baby, but never did I feel like the woman in that advert.

Bloodyholly Wed 29-Jan-14 07:04:23

this advert was sent to test me, I'm sure of it! I'm not an overly violent person, but it kinda make want to rip the guys throat out.

SillyTilly123 Wed 29-Jan-14 07:17:53

Theres a dating site advert around at the minute, where the woman (suppossedly a teacher) is saying how great it is and her kids have great fun helping to choose...thought it was a pretty bad idea introducing your kids to numerous dates!!??

Sammie101 Wed 29-Jan-14 07:22:38

"I'm not an overly violent person"-that made me laugh when I saw your nn holly! grin And I thought that made in the advert was speaking a different language until I saw him show the screen saying holidays 4 u confused

The diet chef advert really rages me! When she goes "mmmm, chicken curry" I just want to grab her minuscule portion of microwaved crap and throw it in her face!!!!

Sammie101 Wed 29-Jan-14 07:27:50

Oh, and those adverts where the teenage daughters are making online dating profiles for their dads?!? Who does that?? NO DAUGHTER EVER! I think it's usually male hair dye adverts :-/

MyLeftElbow Wed 29-Jan-14 07:28:26

Woodland, the Aptimil advert is cleverly done though - because the breastfeeding is done when it's crappy and wintery outside, and the lighting is bland and then when she chooses to "move on" out comes the sun, the lighting is brighter and the mood lifts.

TheAmyrlin Wed 29-Jan-14 07:29:09

sammie101 ha ha! me too. I look at that ad and wonder where the rest of the food is! Surely that's a starter?

Jemimapuddlemuck Wed 29-Jan-14 07:33:04

She's sitting in some sort of conservatory in the Aptamil ad, be bloody freezing getting your boobs out in there in the winter.

woodlandwanderwoman Wed 29-Jan-14 07:33:50

MyLeftElbow I will look out for that next time. That was lost on me in my crazed search to find something to throw at the woman that would suppress my rage without destroying the tv!

Sammie101 Wed 29-Jan-14 07:34:09

TheAmyrlin me too, I could inhale that in about 10 seconds flat hmm

And that man in the advert stealing a crisp? If I was rationed those tiny portions and my boyfriend tried to do that, he'd swiftly lose a testicle wink

SweetPeaPods Wed 29-Jan-14 07:35:16

I dislike all the formula adverts.
Hate the clear blue ones, especially after i had just had my 3rd mc it seemed to be on all the time!
However, my local tesco having sanitary products in the same aisle as baby milk and food, that's even more cruel.

somedizzywhore1804 Wed 29-Jan-14 07:35:27

Another diet chef hater here.

"Mmmm chicken curry- get in!"

Get the fuck off, more like!!

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 29-Jan-14 07:40:20

The Calgon advert is awful, it's so bad it's funny. With that newsreader bloke and terrible actors pretending to be scientists and members of the public.

coffeewithcreamm Wed 29-Jan-14 07:53:02

Can't believe the Wonga guitar one hasn't been mentioned.

Bloodyholly Wed 29-Jan-14 07:58:13

The cillit bang advert- I feel compelled to shout 'Hi Barry Scott' every time really should get out more

BustedRussian Wed 29-Jan-14 08:46:04

Laboratoire Garnier ads - cod science. Hateful.

Thatisall Wed 29-Jan-14 08:48:13

sweetpea I know that feeling and it does numb slightly after a few years thanks

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