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To wonder if it's too big an age gap...

(38 Posts)
BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:13:44

25 years...

25 and 50... Too big?

BackforGood Fri 24-Jan-14 16:19:52

I don't think it's the gap per se but the gap in experience.
50 and 75 is more likely to work, but if the 50 yr old has done a lot more than the 25 yr old and doesn't want to do it all again, I think that can cause problems.

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:23:44

Yeah I can see what you mean with that.

Are you thinking about the big things like marriage/kids? Or the smaller things?

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:25:32

I would like to point out I'm not in a relationship with this guy. A date has been suggested and I am very tempted. However don't want to waste the guys time so trying to think in the longer term would it ever work or is it just a bit pointless to start going down that road.

GilmoursPillow Fri 24-Jan-14 16:26:25

35 and 60. Hmmmm......

Having done slightly less (and a bit more) I would say yes, too big.

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:29:31

Hmm yes when you increase the ages like that it seems bigger actually.

He's said he isn't interested in "flings" which is why I'm asking. He's laid on the table what he is looking for so maybe it isn't the best idea... Although sorely tempting.

GilmoursPillow Fri 24-Jan-14 16:30:39

A "fling" would be ok (IMO). A life-partner, not so much.

What is he looking for though?

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:37:00

I don't think you need to approach every date with 'could this be my life partner?', that's a bit intense. You're 25, if you like him and if you fancy him go for it. Nothing wrong with a fun interlude.

In terms of a long term relationship I think 25 would definitely be too much for me. 15 years older would be my upper limit.

harticus Fri 24-Jan-14 16:42:10

50 and 75 is more likely to work
What?!
As I creep towards 49, with parents in their mid 70s to care for, I would really dispute that!

OP - My cousin married a man 18 years her senior. She was always worried that she would end up as his nursemaid.
But when she hit 45 he left her for a younger woman. grin

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:42:41

He said he isn't interested in flings as he has got past that point in his life. If he dates someone it is with the view of it turning into a relationship.

I would never ever have thought this way other than that he has basically said what he has said which makes me think that if long term I couldn't see it working, it would be unfair to go on the date...

Maybe I'll just go and see how it goes.

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:44:48

But you can hardly promise him a long term relationship before you've even had a first date! First dates are all about sounding people out.

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:45:02

Is he hot?

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:45:42

Is he at the Roy Cropper end of the scale of the George Clooney?

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:45:57

'or' the George Clooney I meant.

BackforGood Fri 24-Jan-14 16:47:18

grin @ Harticus
What I mean is, if 2 people who have already had children and got to the stage where they were 'free' from family commitments, then, as long as fit and healthy, it wouldn't really matter what age they were, but if one had done all that and didn't want to start again, but the other hadn't yet started a family, that's a huge issue for the future

<at the point of writing this I didn't realise the OP hadn't even had a first date grin>

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:48:19

Kind of what I think squoosh. It was a while ago he said this so presumably it was "in an ideal world" kind of thing. And most importantly prior to the offer of the date, maybe he's changed his mind about a fling wink

There is definitely something about him but we get on amazing. On the same wave length with most things and I enjoy spending time with him, can pretty much talk about anything and have a good laugh together.

OK so a follow on question for OP. To go on the date or to not go on the date?

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:50:56

Haha yes, no first date. I'm just bloody terrified of going on the first date and wham bam he wants a full blown relationship. I am an easier going person who just waits and see's what happens without a plan, I like it that way. grin

harticus Fri 24-Jan-14 16:54:43

backforgood - grin you are right, it really is all about life experiences and expectations.
Personally I would be too knackered to keep up with a 25 year old now.

OP - GO ON THE DATE!!!

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:56:13

Go on the date!

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:56:48

Ok I didn't need much persuasion I think I might just say yes to the date...

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:57:07

grin

Pannalash Fri 24-Jan-14 16:57:50

I thought you meant babies smile

squoosh Fri 24-Jan-14 16:58:15

I want to find out how it goes!

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:59:16

Oh and Squoosh His chat is a hell of a lot better than Roy Croppers and looks a lot better too but lets face it if it was George Clooney I would not be posting on MN. I'd be there with bells on. Would probably even wax my legs too haha.

BadChat25 Fri 24-Jan-14 17:00:38

Pannalash Haha nooo hell no. I have one beautiful DD but no more. Certainly not 25 years apart.

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