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Ex threatening court, unborn baby

(144 Posts)
marleyandme2014 Thu 23-Jan-14 12:49:46

Posting here for more traffic as need so advice urgently.

Currently 40+6 and been having a slow early labour for 3 days now.

Last week or so (basically from my due date) my ex has been absolutely vile towards me - sending angry abusive text messages, telling me what a bad parent I'll be, how I'm mentally unstable (I'm not), how he will be taking me to court and he is going to show them what kind of person I really am.

I asked him why? I have not refused contact once the baby is born. I have said I won't be putting him on the birth cert initially and this is one of the reasons he will take me to court - to gain his 'rights'.

I am with my long term partner (ex was a fling during a break in my relationship - not proud of it but there you go). Ex is so angry, he is badmouthing me to anyone who will listen and has now started talking about turning my mum against me (which would never happen as we are very close).

I don't know what my first steps should be. I obviously am trying not to get too stressed because I don't want to cause problems with the birth, but I am so upset. This person is foreign and I'm scared he will get parental rights, then a passport and take her away from me.

bodygoingsouth Sun 26-Jan-14 16:46:46

congratulations and I too would tell him to fuck right off as he's not the father.

CoolaSchmoola Sun 26-Jan-14 17:08:20


caruthers Sun 26-Jan-14 17:49:30

Will he be seeing his child then?

littlemisswine Sun 26-Jan-14 18:00:20


Bagpussss Sun 26-Jan-14 18:01:46

Congratulations Marley, do what's best for the child no matter what the haters say, you have some good advice on here, all the best thanks

GimmeDaBoobehz Sun 26-Jan-14 20:57:26


ChasedByBees Sun 26-Jan-14 21:00:22


GimmeDaBoobehz Sun 26-Jan-14 21:05:47

Congratulations your daughter nearly shared a birthday with me smile

GhettoPrincess001 Mon 27-Jan-14 05:39:53

Will you put someone else's name on the birth cert as the father ? Someone who better suits your convenience ? Go on, the registrar won't know.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 27-Jan-14 07:30:29

Congratulations op

Ghetoo biscuit

Chunderella Mon 27-Jan-14 07:50:05

Hey ghetto you've not told us yet what you'd do in this situation. I for one would be delighted to hear whether you're a hypocrite or an irresponsible parent, because its one or the other.

Congratulations OP.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 27-Jan-14 08:48:53

Ghetto, the op has already said on 2 threads now that she has no intention of doing that and she is well aware that doing so would be against the law.

You have a very unpleasant posting style, is it intentional?

SavoyCabbage Mon 27-Jan-14 09:06:45

Congratulations Marley.

helenthemadex Mon 27-Jan-14 09:52:25

congratulations hope its all going well

Clargo55 Mon 27-Jan-14 17:28:08

Congratulations Marley thanks enjoy the newborn snuggles.

innisglas Mon 27-Jan-14 19:24:36

Many congratulations, Marley. All the best.

edamsavestheday Mon 27-Jan-14 21:17:52

Congratulations Marley! Health, wealth and happiness to your new dd. flowers

WetDogLovesHubert Mon 27-Jan-14 21:36:09

Congratulations grin enjoy snuggling your beautiful bundle thanks

stickystick Mon 27-Jan-14 22:04:14


I've only just seen this thread but wanted to say, try not to worry too much because it may very well turn out that his bark is worse than his bite. I was in a very similar situation (horrid texts from my XP/baby's father in the run up to him being born). One year on, and time, to some extent, has healed. He's not a great dad, in the sense that most of the time he is completely uninterested in his child and rarely sees him, but the raw anger and aggression has dissipated. A lot of the anger came from his fear about the effect on his life of the baby being born. Once the baby was born and the sky did not fall in, the fear gradually faded along with the anger.

Other than that, all the advice given above by others eg not putting him on the BC and keeping texts is excellent. I advise taking photos of the worst ones, just in case your phone gets lost or corrupted because texts are very hard to digitally back up on most phones.

good luck!

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