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Things you say that make you realise you're a Bad Mum!

(72 Posts)
BigFatGoalie Wed 22-Jan-14 20:38:34

So, I was in the kitchen unpacking the dishwasher this morning, when I look over and see 17 month old DD with something shiny in her hands.
In my mummy, happy voice I simply say:

"MiniBigFatGoalie, please give Mummy the knife..."

In my defence it was only a butter knife blush, but I suddenly realised if ANYBODY else had heard me say that they'd be tempted to call SS!
it did not happen twice...

Can I ask what sentences you've said to your DC lately that make you think, bloody hell I sound like a bad mother?!

MissPryde Sat 25-Jan-14 11:38:32

notso that completely undid me. Trying not to wake Dp up laughing at your son sawing up the dining room table.

"No dear, that's poison. No you can't eat the poison. No,the poison has to go in the dishwasher. No, you can't play with the poison under the sink either." confused thank goodness for child locks!

Felyne Sat 25-Jan-14 11:25:57

My 15 month old grabbed a knife out of the dishwasher and was wandering around holding the blade. Not a butter knife, a paring knife. Getting that back took some doing as it became a bit of a game (not to me!) as my mind ran through every horrid possible outcome. I did get it back ok.
Knives stay on the bench now until the dishwasher is about to be run rather than being put straight in.

wonderingsoul Sat 25-Jan-14 11:07:19

ohh yes.. ivythe

both of mine love veg and its the first thing they eat on the plate.. iv been known to bribe them with it

"if you want more veg.. you have to eat the the rest of your dinner"

ds1 i used to have to hide his proper food.. normally meat under his veg to get him to eat it.

odd children.

notso Fri 24-Jan-14 11:42:59

Ha ha Ivytheterrible we have had similar conversations!

Ivytheterrible Fri 24-Jan-14 11:33:42

To 3yr old DD in McDonalds:

"No there aren't any vegetables - eat your cheeseburger"

LetThereBeCupcakes Fri 24-Jan-14 11:24:17

"oh, what's that smeared all over your face? Is that mud? Where did you get mud in the bath? Oh.. Darling when did you do that poo? Let's clean you up..."

I had failed to notice for long enough that he had smeared it all over himself and the walls, and flung it around the whole room. I had been cleaning the sink.

MartinSheensTeeth Fri 24-Jan-14 11:08:31

body that is hilarious! Was your hangover also held up as an example of how not to behave?

BigFatGoalie Thu 23-Jan-14 20:47:28

These are brilliant, am so glad I'm not alone!
This morning's gem:
"No darling, we don't eat the loo roll"
Screamed from inside the shower while she was pulling the entire roll onto the floor.
Of course she knew there was nothing I could do sopping wet from behind the shower doors.

MrsGarlic Thu 23-Jan-14 15:35:07

Rufus grin Mine kisses me all open-mouthed with tongues, 'tis probably more acceptable at 1 than at 15 though wink

bodygoingsouth Thu 23-Jan-14 15:33:14

falling up the stairs very tipsy after a PTA quiz night while my teens looked on as my dh gave them a lecture on the consequences of getting drunk.

they have find memories of this and if dh saying 'see lads your mother is pissed. she didn't know her limits. you need to see how embarrassing she looks and don't exceed yours'

thanks dh darling.

notso Thu 23-Jan-14 15:27:26

So pleased others have floor snacks and dishwasher dwellers.

The other day DS2 came in saying "Mummy a saw, it's mines"
I thought he meant his plastic one so did the usual "oh lovely a saw" and carried on MNing, and off he toddled to the dining room
Then heard a hideous grating sound and rushed to find him trying to saw the dining table with a real saw blush

RufusTheReindeer Thu 23-Jan-14 14:47:15

Shit...just realised I should explain!!!!!!!

He has a habit of licking my nose as a joke when I get my good night kiss

Please don't ring SS!!!!!!!

RufusTheReindeer Thu 23-Jan-14 14:45:28

"No tongues when you are kissing mummy"

He is 15

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 23-Jan-14 14:44:12

LOL at floor snack!

SupSlick Thu 23-Jan-14 14:41:14

"It's "I'm GOING to kill YOU" not "I'm gonna kill ya"!!!!"


headinhands Thu 23-Jan-14 14:11:08

This is more bad pet owner probably. "Please take Nibbles out of the dolls house, I don't think she likes it in there." Nibbles is a rabbit.

MrsGarlic Thu 23-Jan-14 14:06:01

When my son was a newborn he used to get this really sarcastic look on his face and we used to joke that he was thinking "Fuck you, Daddy/Mummy".

Except we still say it to each other out loud, e.g. if he's crawling away and my husband calls him but he doesn't respond, I'll shout out "FUCK YOU, DADDY!" in a mock-American teenagery accent. He is 1. He will probably say those as his first words now blush

Guiltismymaster Thu 23-Jan-14 13:26:33

'Come out of the dishwasher'

bachsingingmum Thu 23-Jan-14 13:19:29

"Oh dear, let me kiss that better. We'll just drop your sister off at school and then pop along to the hospital."

I'd just crushed DD2's fingers in the front door... was fine, but bad bad mother...

babyicebean Thu 23-Jan-14 13:19:26

We had 'don't use your uncle as an archery target' problem is I didn't see them start and the poor lad has about four circular bruises on his backside. In their defence he had told her she wasn't as good a shot as him. She had a soft archery set for Xmas which is basically a full bow with sucker arrows which is used before you graduate to pointy arrows.

wonderingsoul Thu 23-Jan-14 12:59:17

ds2 is a licker...

iv had dont lick the cat../ .windows../ bus... random peoples hands... the list goes on.. hes 5 and is slowly getting out of it..but still feels the need to munch down on the schools metal poles if we stop there to long!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 23-Jan-14 12:35:36

TheNightIsDark you see, we're not alone. smile

I've never done it again either. It's a shame I had to do it in the first place but it was definitely a wake up call.

I'm like my kids. I like to learn by experience. grin

Queenofthehill Wed 22-Jan-14 23:01:40

Sorry, grin

Queenofthehill Wed 22-Jan-14 23:01:03

TheNightIsDark, I love your honesty. I am sure I have paraphrased that one. Lord knows I've felt it :-D

Mim78 Wed 22-Jan-14 22:54:09

Dd said to me yesterday "mummy why are you stopping me from sharing?" Which made me feel/ look bad.

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