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To think you are not and are never going to be my DDs SM

(72 Posts)
BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:38:19

Name changed.

Ok In short (very short) DD (ExH) does not see her Dad, he does not contribute financially, ever ask after her or generally have anything to do with either of us.

His new girlfriend has been discussing her "step daughter" locally (meaning my daughter) and I am fuming. She has never and will never have anything to do with my DD. Her Father will never have anything to do with her either (his choice just to make that clear)

I'm not pissed off that he has a girlfriend and am most certainly not jealous, I left him a long time ago and I have never regretted that decision. What pisses me off is that this woman is going around referring to my daughter as her step child, they have been together approx 6 weeks.

WTAF? Do people actually think this is normal behaviour?

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:25:00

Agreed i

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:25:31

I am starting to

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:26:30

Bloody phone... Starting to calm down now. Less pissed and more bemused.

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Jan-14 17:31:42

I wonder if she was just saying it to wind your brother/you up?

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:32:43


BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:32:59

She doe

AmberLeaf Wed 22-Jan-14 17:35:37

if she is a new girlfriend then maybe your ex has been less than honest about his relationship with your daughter?
not uncommon for an absent father to suddenly get a renewed interest in their child when there's a new girlfriend on the scene.

Tigerstripes Wed 22-Jan-14 17:38:28

But what could she have to say about a child she's never met? And presumably her father doesn't know much about her life either. I agree with other posters that she was doing it to make her relationship sound more serious but she couldn't have much to talk about!

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Jan-14 17:39:39

I can't help thinking how apt the OP's NN is...considering she's having posting problems grin

JapaneseMargaret Wed 22-Jan-14 17:40:45

Oh, God <cringe> for her.

She is totally embarrassing herself, for reasons known only to herself. Why would anyone call a child they've never met, by a feckless man who has nothing to do with said child, their step daughter...?!

She's a few cells short, I think, poor dear.

NatashaBee Wed 22-Jan-14 17:44:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JapaneseMargaret Wed 22-Jan-14 17:44:48

Seriously, you cannot let people like this wind you up.

The appropriate reaction is bemused amusement. The only thing guaranteed to take the wind out of their sails.

Rosencrantz Wed 22-Jan-14 17:47:04

Agree with everyone else. Just semantics.

She's probably too stupid to realize stepmother is a totally different thing to Dad's girlfriend. Or that 'stepmother' implies some kind of permanence in your daughters life.

Make sure to have a good chuckle at her expense when then inevitably break up, OP. 6 weeks is a joke!

MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw Wed 22-Jan-14 17:52:49

YANBU, not because you have to be married to be a SM but because he has no relationship. I think a PP has it right - she's trying to big herself up and make out the relationship is more than it is. She will make herself look silly. Try to ignore, you are the parent who is in your DD's life and she knows that.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 18:58:08

Haha Worra yes I think it is quite fitting in this case.

My phone was playing up so I gave up until I was home and the little one tucked up.

What I was trying to say... Was I doubt she would have actually known who my brother was but it is a possibility I guess. He doesn't stay here anymore and was by pure chance he happened to be there, was going to my Mum's and had forgotten his key so had to wait on her getting home from work.

I think you are all possibly right in that she is trying to make their relationship sound more serious, either that or she is just a very silly little girl that doesn't realise I know everyone who drinks in that pub and they are all aware of the fact I am very much a single mum. It's a very small village and people know more than they let on.

I have pretty much cooled off now although I think a little wine is on the cards grin

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 19:50:40

Ok so back to boiling point. My DM just rang me and said DB hadn't wanted to tell me she was showing off pics of my DD angry

They were pictures her Granny took at my home and must of sent them on to her son - fair enough. But why the fuck does his girlfriend have them on her phone? And why is she showing pictures of my child to people???

BruthasTortoise Wed 22-Jan-14 20:15:08

I really think this has to fall under "don't sweat the small stuff." What affect is this going to have on your life or your DDs life? None. What can be done about it? Nothing. She looks like a fool, so just leave her to it.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:19:00

I know none and I can't do anything I'm just pissed off. Can't help it.

She's lucky it wasn't me in the pub (I don't drink there anyway for obvious reasons) but I think I would have made sure her phone took a swim in the nearest pint.

BruthasTortoise Wed 22-Jan-14 20:33:50

Don't blame you for being pissed off at all but take comfort in the fact that she looks completely stupid in what's she's doing.

giggleshizz Wed 22-Jan-14 20:39:55

Well exp started referring to OW as dd's stepmother while I was five months pregnant (he'd been with her about 6 weeks at this point)!! Beat that confused . Funny how neither of them are in dd's life now (she's 15 months now).

Anyhoot you are most certainly not being unreasonable. I went apeshit! Just try and rise above it and get on with yours and your dd life. I do know how it feels though. Grrrr.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:40:28

Yes, I do enjoy stupid people... hmm

I will need to try and sit back and laugh. No wine for me tonight now, I don't think it would keep my cool in check. Bath and early bed. My head is sore from all this thinking. It isn't good for you grin

SnakeyMcBadass Wed 22-Jan-14 20:43:05

That would piss me off, too. It's the idea of someone having pics of my DC who doesn't actually know them and showing them to randoms as if they are somehow connected to her. Yeah, that would boil my piss. But there is nothing you can do without it going all 'Jeremy Kyle', so rise above it. Smile, knowing that she hasn't a fucking clue and has been landed with your ex, the kind of man who abandons a child. Yeah, she loses grin

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:47:03

Doesn't need to go all 'Jeremy Kyle' it could go all 'Jerry Springer' haha.

You are right though. Rise above it. I will certainly try.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 20:49:49

Oh wait I mean 'Jerry Springer' without the flashing.

Although I do have a pretty good rack if I do say so myself hmm...

TenMinutesLate Wed 22-Jan-14 20:52:02

She is odd, no normal person would do this. And your ExP sounds a right catch. Not!

Even after 8 years of knowing my SD it still sounds/feels funny but is the easiest way to explain my relationship with her.

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