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To think you are not and are never going to be my DDs SM

(72 Posts)
BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:38:19

Name changed.

Ok In short (very short) DD (ExH) does not see her Dad, he does not contribute financially, ever ask after her or generally have anything to do with either of us.

His new girlfriend has been discussing her "step daughter" locally (meaning my daughter) and I am fuming. She has never and will never have anything to do with my DD. Her Father will never have anything to do with her either (his choice just to make that clear)

I'm not pissed off that he has a girlfriend and am most certainly not jealous, I left him a long time ago and I have never regretted that decision. What pisses me off is that this woman is going around referring to my daughter as her step child, they have been together approx 6 weeks.

WTAF? Do people actually think this is normal behaviour?

Monetbyhimself Wed 22-Jan-14 16:40:30

It's a word. It means nothing. And she'll look like an idiot when her family and friends expect to actually SEEthis mythical step child.

Smile and ignore!

WaffilyVersatile Wed 22-Jan-14 16:40:48

its just semantics. she is her partners child so what else would she call her?

I would be more pissed off that she was apparently gossiping I think.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:42:03

I know, and I know it shouldn't bother me but it just annoys me that they are using my DD to try and make them look like a family when he was never part of a family with my DD in the first place.

The rage will pass... Eventually. I am not planning on doing or saying anything just really needed to vent. MN seems like the best place sometimes.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:42:38

she is her partners child so what else would she call her?

My boyfriends daughter you know the one he has nothing to do with

needaholidaynow Wed 22-Jan-14 16:47:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baskingseals Wed 22-Jan-14 16:51:33

Yanbu, this would really cheese me off too.

happygirl87 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:54:24

I refer to my fiance's daughter as DSD, because it's quicker. We look after her regularly, and I (personally) have bought her presents, school uniform, meals out and birthday trips, been to her birthday parties and school plays, taught her to knit, helped with homework and spellings, stood down on tantrums, made fancy dress costumes, read school reports, got up for nightmares, and taken temperature when she's sick/held her hair back while she vommited. Every year I take her out to buy father's day and bday presents for my DP. We have also fixed a date for the wedding this year, so in 11 months she really will be my DSD. So I suppose I may be more "qualified" to use the term than your ex's gf, who has no role, but I don't think it's odd to use the term per se- for speed and ease. It is odd to be "discussing" her though- as neither of them see her I can't imagine they'd have much to say?!

happygirl87 Wed 22-Jan-14 16:55:17

(In RL I say stepdaughter)

SaucyJack Wed 22-Jan-14 16:56:02


I never presumed to call my ex's son my step-child.

DollyHouse Wed 22-Jan-14 16:57:55

Yanbu. It'd be different if she was actually involved at all but she's not.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 22-Jan-14 16:59:12


Presumably, she's never met your DD so very odd to refer to her as DSD.

MangeToutRodders Wed 22-Jan-14 16:59:59

She's just going to look a bit silly when people realise he has nothing to do with his daughter and she has never even met her.

Let it go, pity her for being daft.

Lemonfairydust Wed 22-Jan-14 17:01:15

If your ex has nothing to do with her, I wonder why this woman is even mentioning your dd at all?

Gossiping about a child neither of them have contact with will come back to bite her in the bum, as she will look an idiot when people realise neither your ex or his partner have contact with the step child she prattles on about. It would annoy me also, but try not to let stupid people ruin your day smile

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:01:32

I'm not going to lie, I don't particularly like the term when used by a lot of people however there are exceptions obviously your story is one where it wouldn't bother me but my situation, it's really rubbed me up the wrong way.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:02:59

Nope never laid eyes on her. Probably never will.

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Jan-14 17:09:49

YANBU, she sounds weird.

Who told you she's been saying this?

BruthasTortoise Wed 22-Jan-14 17:12:15

Not entirely sure why you care. This woman will seem silly to anyone she speaks to and I'm not sure that the people reporting back to you aren't actually doing it for a bit of shit stirring iyswim.

BeverlyMoss Wed 22-Jan-14 17:13:43

I was just thinking the same Worra, what good does it do telling you he said/she said - it's only upsetting you, not really helping anyone.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:15:26

My brother overheard her in the local pub... He's not shit stirring would just rather it came from him than someone else.

Alifelivedforwards Wed 22-Jan-14 17:15:28

I would feel exactly the same as you.

But please, please just ignore her. Ignore the gossip. Rise above it.

She will look like a dick when people start asking her questions and she has to admit she's not met your dd.

pictish Wed 22-Jan-14 17:15:34

She probably thinks it makes her and her relationship sound more important and solid than she or it, is.
I don't see what you can do about it though. Ignore the silly moo.

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Jan-14 17:17:59

But can you be sure it was your DD she was talking about, when he overheard the conversation?

Perhaps she has a real step daughter?

It would make more sense anyway.

BadChat25 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:20:42

She called her by name and was talking about me also. My brother told her to wind her neck in before leaving. Apparently she wasn't best pleased to be outed as a liar in front of company.

WorraLiberty Wed 22-Jan-14 17:22:39

Oh right, then she really is weird!

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