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AIBU to feel spied on?

(34 Posts)
MsMommy Wed 22-Jan-14 14:59:57

So I'm on Facebook (natch) but my account is pretty locked down. Privacy settings are high. No Joe Bloggs can see my account, only Friends and there aren't hundreds of them.
My Dad isn't on Facebook but my mum is and he goes on her account all the time to see what's happening. He never posts tho.
But almost every time we see them he'll ask me something about something I've posted on FB, and not like the regular - look at this - type updates, but conversations I've had with people on there.
So last week I posted a link about a new restaurant to a friend and underneath we chatted about whether we should book a night out. Today he asks me if me and this other woman have booked our night out.
Other times he's asked me about whether I got a job I was discussing with someone on there, or he's asked me if someone else I was chatting with on there came up with the thing they promised me.
Honestly I find it a bit creepy. It feels a bit like he's opening my mail. I know if I say anything about it he will say 'well it's in the public domain' and obv he is kind of right, but it just makes me feel really uncomfortable. Those were conversations I was having just with that person, no one else. But yes, ok, they were conducted on timelines rather than by DM.
It makes me feel like I just shouldn't post anything on there any more, which actually I don't want to do. But I do find it makes me really uncomfortable.
What do you think? AIBU? Is it just an internet etiquette thing? Should I just forget it?

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:40:34

I don't get how you can feel like someone is opening your mail. It's there for people to see, it just happens he is seeing it without an account.

My Mum used to FB snoop all the time until my Dad told her to stop using his account and get her own if she likes it that much.

I have a motto of not putting anything on my FB I wouldn't want my parents to see. Therefore if you don't want him to know. Don't post it.

Ditavontitty Wed 22-Jan-14 15:46:16

My mil keeps making noises about joining fb as lots of her friends use it. The day she joins is the day I leave it-she would kick up a huge stink if I refused to friend her but frankly I don'nt want to! Yanbu!

SlimJiminy Wed 22-Jan-14 15:54:11

Most of your friends won't bother to read the timeline posts/conversations that are nothing to do with them because they're not interested. But your dad is. I think it's nice that he's trying to show an interest in your life. But if you're not happy with your dad showing an interest in things you're doing publicly, then do them privately. YABU, sorry.

winkywinkola Wed 22-Jan-14 15:56:00

I do know how you feel. My pil do the same sort of thing.

It is public conversations but it is like he is eavesdropping in a way. And if he's following your posts and logging all your chats in his mind, then it is a bit uncomfortable.

I'd keep comments private in future.

MeepMeepVrooooom Wed 22-Jan-14 15:57:38

Maybe he doesn't comment because he doesn't want to intrude on your conversation with your friend at the time.

Personally I think it's quite sweet he takes such an interest in what's going on with your life.

DollyHouse Wed 22-Jan-14 15:59:29

Facebook is the equivalent of walking into a room of everyone you know and shouting a conversation in front if then. If it's not something you would shout in front of everyone while expecting them never to mention it, you use the equivalent of whispering in the room and pm people.

DollyHouse Wed 22-Jan-14 15:59:44

If then? Am I drunk?

Of them*

DroothyNeebor Wed 22-Jan-14 16:15:04

This is why I dont have facebook in my own name and haven't told relatives that I have an account
The analogy of having a blether in the kitchen is a good one BUT you may feel you're in your kitchen when you're actually in a busy cafe with possible eavesdroppers on every table

CoolaSchmoola Wed 22-Jan-14 17:46:31

Restrictions are the way forward.

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