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To have told ds he couldn't have a biscuit

(28 Posts)
dogtiredandfedup Mon 20-Jan-14 13:48:38

At inlaws over weekend ds 3years Mil does not believe in saying no to him or telling him off ( that's fine but whenever I tell him off the inlaws all look at me like I've committed a heinous crime so unless really necessary I try not to discipline him too much when we are there) He was being generally boisterous and silly. I had just gently told him not to take baby ds toy out of his mouth roughly. Few minutes later he shouts "want biscuit now" at his dad while simultaneously throwing a toy at me while I'm holding the baby. I told him no he couldn't have one as he knew better than to ask like that and he certainly knows not to throw things at people. Cue huge tantrum which took me five mins to calm down but I stuck saying no to the biscuit

Anyway dh is appalled that this has happened in front of his parents and said to ds don't worry you can have a biscuit at home!! He is really mad at me because I wouldn't let him have the biscuit and blames me for ds tantrum

Ds is usually well behaved, polite and kind but when we are at inlaws his behaviour is awful and demanding. Advice welcome

MammaTJ Mon 20-Jan-14 16:11:49

You need to agree boundries and stick to them.

This giving in all the time is only going to dinfuse your children at best and turn them in to manipulative little tikes at worst.

Your DH needs to see that it is not your discipline that is causing the tantrums, but the giving in to them that encourages them to happen again and again. Behaviour+ reward= repeat of behaviour, so tantrum+biscuit=tantrum when wanting a biscuit.

Tantrum+time out=learning not to tantrum.

MammaTJ Mon 20-Jan-14 16:12:27

dinfuse confuse

Pinkje Mon 20-Jan-14 16:18:11

How old is your baby? Perhaps your son is still adjusting to his brother arriving. I'd say work on reassuring him of your love.

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