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AIBU to ask you to tell me you de-stressing tips and tricks?

(107 Posts)
babacoon Mon 20-Jan-14 09:46:14

DH and I have a very hectic life. We have one DC (4 years) and have zero family/ friends around. So one of us has to be looking after DS and at all times, whilst the other works. this means that DH works most nights and we have little to relax together. When one is working, the other is doing house chores etc. The weekend is spent in groceries, cleaning, cooking and storing for the next week etc.

I do get some time to myself over the weekend but come Monday and I feel so tired and stressed. DH and I feel like we are always worrying about something, always rushing to get something done.

So what are your tips to de-stress and unwind your self over the weekend so that you can start afresh on Mondays?

thanks smile

Aragaboneahankofhair Fri 24-Jan-14 10:55:51

Aragaboneahankofhair Fri 24-Jan-14 10:55:29

I cannot recommend this lady hightly enough. A mental spring clean. Her book the Power of vulnerability (great as an audiobook if you are always on go) is amazing.

4athomeand1cooking Fri 24-Jan-14 05:47:18

Arrrggghhhhh writing and bf at same time!!!

What I meant to say was.... I am not sure i came across properly in what I wanted to say in my last post.

My intentions were to say that stress should not be relative in what or how many responsibilities someone has. In paper I should have a very stressful life but I was more stressed a few years back when I was concerning myself with things that could not be changed or dealt with immediately.

I really have learned to live in the present. I know what I have to do at that moment in time and I don't worry about what I have to do or what has not been done. This way I do not feel like I am carrying the weight of the world. I started thus by writing lists in the morning and that helped me compartmentalise everything. Every day is a new day fresh.

Sorry for the waffle posts - I am blaming sleep depravation!

4athomeand1cooking Fri 24-Jan-14 05:35:33

Sorry not sure i came across

4athomeand1cooking Fri 24-Jan-14 05:27:21

I love life crazy and for some reason I am a very relaxed person, we have 5 children between 3 weeks and 11 years and we both work full time ( I work from home).

For me I have a very uncluttered home, everything is organised, I have (rough) routines for everything. As long as I am actively doing something I don't worry about things that have not been done. My attitude is very much as long as the toilet is clean for guests, the bills are paid I am completely at ease. I enjoy a nice bath but it is amazing how every time I jump in - someone needs to urgently use the loo.

The only time stress gets to me is when I know I am not doing what I could be. I never switch off but feel relaxed most of the time.

If dh is working evenings, can you spend an hour together in the mornings? Above all else, you are a busy mum. It can be a crazy life and sometimes quite mundane. But stress-free it is not! If you can make your peace with that, you will feel instantly relaxed.

BronzeHorseman Fri 24-Jan-14 05:10:51

I wish I knew, I am in a very similar situation to yours and I can never switch off and relax - when I am not keeping busy I get bored and miserable, I just don't do relaxation - I don't think I know how so will RTFT for tips!

HappyMummySal Thu 23-Jan-14 17:19:58

I know exactly how you feel. Me and my husband work full time although my children are 7 and 11 so it is a little easier as they can entertain themselves for a while. But I do rush around at work all week and then rush around getting housework done all weekend. It drives me insane! The only way I can completely switch off and relax is to get a good book on the go. A bit of romance is always good for the feel good factor....I love nothing more than a glass of wine with a good book whilst in the bath. I guarantee you will feel so much better after half an hour of this that you will be ready to tackle anything. Try it!

Squeakygate Thu 23-Jan-14 13:55:27

I have lowered my standards! I only iron dh's work shirts, school uniform and our bedding (it's a small pleasure in life getting into ironed bedding!)
I pay for the school age dc to have school lunches so I don't have to do a big meal at tea time for them.
I also run. The fact I get time on my own and time to exercise is great. I really enjoy it. Once every two weeks I go for a walk with my friend. It's lovely to catch up and get fresh air at the same time next week we are going for lunch though instead

sausagefortea Thu 23-Jan-14 12:07:33

Thank you for this post OP (and everyone) - its exactly what I needed to read today! I feel like I'm not the only one who feels constantly on the relentless gerbil wheel of life. Some great tips.

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 11:47:47


I am sorry if my post came across as a stealth boast

It wasn't meant to be.

thesaurusgirl Thu 23-Jan-14 11:35:28

If we can get the thread back on track, I like scented candles or an oil burner and some essential oils. Or a spritz of perfume. Or some posh shower gel I keep for just such occasions.

thesaurusgirl Thu 23-Jan-14 11:33:13

The OP asked for tips, not stealth boasts. Well done you for having such a bombproof psyche. Let's hope the big left hook of Fate never decides to teach you a lesson in humility.

Craggy Hollow You're the one I feel sorry for. No kindness, no empathy. No friends, too, I expect.

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:56:51

ooh you don't sound like a very happy person

I am a bit sorry for you although I am sure knowing that will send you demented

baies74 Thu 23-Jan-14 10:55:06

I don't need to know anything about you to know that you are ignorant (because you posted whilst admitting you didn't read the thread) and lacking in humility (because your series of posts are boasts about your own ability to withstand stress).

Keep out of the way of Fate's left hook, it has ways of teaching you the lessons you need whether you think you need them or not.

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:54:12

if the OP was my RL friend and she came to me with this problem

I would tell her to get ds into a nursrey
to lower her standards
to do something that makes her laugh every day
to learn to cook simple easy food and dh too
to go out once a month with her dh for the evening

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:48:43

and ditto - you know nothing about me and my psyche

and being cheerful and having humility is what keeps me going tbh

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:47:26

ha ha

not at all rude

I am sorry but having one child and a job should NOT be sending you into the stratosphere

if there are underlying reasons (and there must be) then she should say

baies74 Thu 23-Jan-14 10:43:37

Some of these "You shouldn't be stressed, my life is much more stressful and I cope just fine" posts are spectacularly rude and ignorant.

You know nothing of the OP's upbringing or her health, not to mention her personal relationships and work or financial situation. All have a significant effect on people's ability to withstand stress.

The OP asked for tips, not stealth boasts. Well done you for having such a bombproof psyche. Let's hope the big left hook of Fate never decides to teach you a lesson in humility.

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:38:37

is your ds not in nursery? are you living in the UK?

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:36:23

ok I see you have a job

I really don't think its normal to be this stressed especially this obsession with cooking and cleaning - you have someone to HELP you cook?? and I would surmise that there is something else you are worried about/unhappy about


craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:29:00

just to put in context

we have three dcs, three dogs, two ponies, both work (him full time own business - me school hours own business) no family, no domestic help

and I am only just beginning to feel a bit stressed out

craggyhollow Thu 23-Jan-14 10:27:22

havent read the whole thread but really life shouldn't be that stressful with one dc and no job for you? Have I missed something?

principalitygirl Thu 23-Jan-14 09:45:47

Another beautiful relaxing classical piece is I Giorni by Ludovico Einuadi. You'd probably recognise it from BBC trailers last year. Gorgeous piano piece that's instantly calming for me.

principalitygirl Thu 23-Jan-14 09:43:38

I defy anyone to stay stressed while listening to Gymnopedie 1 by Erik Satie - bliss!!

baies74 Thu 23-Jan-14 09:39:06

YYY to the hypnotherapy CDs. Paul McKenna does not seem to be a Mumsnet favourite but his CDs are fab. 'Instant Calm', 'Be Happy' and 'Change Your Life in 7 Days' are particularly good. Mindfulness isn't easy but anyone can listen to a CD.

Keep a notebook by your bed and at the front write anything you suddenly realise you have to remember for the next day or week. At the back, keep a a daily entry of everything that has gone well that day and everything that makes you feel grateful in your life.

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