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AIBU to think that I'm NOT keeping DH awake if he is snoring?

(49 Posts)
MmeLindor Tue 14-Jan-14 23:51:58

He keeps waking up and muttering cause he 'can't sleep cause of the light of the iPhone'.

He's been snoring since I came to bed so how on earth can MNetting be bothering him?

HolgerDanske Fri 17-Jan-14 08:25:32

I can be asleep and snoring (actually I have stopped snoring since I lost weight, which is a nice side-effect) and still hear everything that's going on around me and think I'm awake but just resting. Maybe he is asleep but still responding to the stimuli of the light and other noises

Meow75 Wed 15-Jan-14 15:12:41

Yep, I didn't every night either. And, like most people I'm heavier than ever as is DH.

The specialist I see reckons 60-70% of people actually have sleep apnoea! but that most people don't think it's that serious.

MmeLindor Wed 15-Jan-14 15:05:30

And I've noticed that since we've he's put on weight we both he snores more.

MmeLindor Wed 15-Jan-14 15:04:36

Love the pie dreams. You aren't married to Toby Ziegler,
are you? [obscure west wing reference]

We are all the same person with the same husband.

Not that I don't believe you but he isn't like this every night. Sometimes he's fine. He's had sleep issues in the past but they've been stress related and are better now.

Lancelottie Wed 15-Jan-14 13:38:50

Our household:
DH: God, you were restless last night.
Me: That's because you were snoring. And I went to sleep downstairs.
DH: You mean you stormed out in a huff.
Me: I did not storm. I left calmly.
DH: But you did it with death threats...

Yeah. Maybe. Would he prefer the actual death-by-pillow?

chipshop Wed 15-Jan-14 13:25:32

When DP snores I wake him up with an elbow or foot. And repeat until I'm asleep. grin

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Wed 15-Jan-14 12:44:24

Are you both married to my DH, op and second poster? Snores like a train, if I dare to roll over, get back the duvet,go for a wee this disturbs him so "he gets no sleep at all". Oh really, then why did you not STOP BASTARD SNORING, YOU TWAT?

peppersaunt Wed 15-Jan-14 12:36:28

Uh-oh. Think DH may be two-timing me with several of you (insists we go to bed together though I'm not tired, snores like a lawn mower, denies being asleep and moans about my reading).

Meow75 Wed 15-Jan-14 12:00:17

We've both been bad snorers over the last 15 years that we've been married. The difference is, I've done something about it. As was previously mentioned, I had a sleep study done last February, started using a CPAP machine on March 19th.

My sleep has been SO MUCH BETTER since then. The sleep study showed that I was waking on average 31 times an hour, an my blood O2 levels were dropping by upto 60% throughout the night, but the snoring only occurred, as others have said in the first hour or so after going to sleep.

Now trying to talk my DH into going to his GP to sort a sleep study. But he's reluctant, despite seeing how much better I am in the last year. This reluctance, I cannot understand ...

TheWomanTheyCallJayne Wed 15-Jan-14 11:56:51

I think the recording him with your phone idea is the best one. So you can point it out to him

I did similar with dh. 'I don't snore'
'Yes you fucking well do, here listen to this. So do not complain when I disturb you'

ApprenticeViper Wed 15-Jan-14 11:43:43

When did you all move into my house??? grin

My DP does all the above: snoring then denying he was even asleep, complaining that I don't go to bed at the same time as him (Ineed I could have written that conversation you posted!), whinging that I'm on my phone/tablet for too long once I'm in bed, the light of said phone/tablet is keeping him awake (when he's snoring like god-knows-what), etc., etc.

He does also talk in his sleep, but this is usually hilarious; his best one? "I love pies, me....really love pies....I've got a the fridge" I fell out of bed laughing! grin

LeapingOverTheWall Wed 15-Jan-14 11:41:34

before DHs diagnosis of sleep apnea and subsequent CPAP machine - god I love that machine--we had years and years of theses "discussions". In fairness to DH, he did genuinely believe he wasn't asleep because he wasn't ever getting into a proper deep sleep, but I did laugh at his suggestion that I go the GP about my "insomnia" because it was causing him sleeping problems.

Goldencity1 Wed 15-Jan-14 11:29:10

He can be watching the news on the sofa and snoring so loud I can't hear the TV! If I say anything thump him he gets all cross and can tell me what was being said.

Straitjacket Wed 15-Jan-14 10:42:54

My DP snores literally seconds qfter his head has even hit the pillow, before it is even possible for him to be asleep! I always ask if he is asleep, and he never is hmm

Don't get that.

Theas18 Wed 15-Jan-14 08:00:30

oh the "you were snoring.... no I wasn't I wasn't even asleep" conversations !

My best tactic is to BE asleep before he gets to bed then he can snore as much as he likes.

I think I may get one of those apps to record it!

ProfPlumSpeaking Wed 15-Jan-14 07:59:16

He keeps waking up and muttering cause he 'can't sleep cause of the light of the iPhone'.


yes, you are disturbing his sleep. OTOH if he MAKES you come to bed when you would happily read downstairs, then he has only himself to blame.

MmeLindor Wed 15-Jan-14 07:55:27

Because he nags me to come to bed. And when I say that I'm not tired and will read for a bit he says 'fine'.

Why should I lie awake cause he wants company in bed?

I have to say, it's unusual for him to complain now. He used to but I think he sleeps deeper than he used to.

Bloodyteenagers Wed 15-Jan-14 07:47:17

He wants you in bed with him, then he has to put up with the phone, in the same way as you have to put up with his snoring. If he doesn't want the issue with the phone, then he shouldn't moan that you don't g to bed with him.

MomsStiffler Wed 15-Jan-14 07:35:32

He's like me - I snore when I'm "in limbo" as it were, can still hear things going on & be disturbed. Can sometimes even hear myself. This is obviously the case with your DH as he can't get to sleep & is telling you why!

When I'm properly, deeply asleep I don't snore.

So yes, YABU as you're not letting him reach the deep sleep phase. Why go to bed if you want to play on your phone?

MmeLindor Wed 15-Jan-14 07:23:59

He doesn't have a sleep disorder. And he doesn't snore all night. Just the first hour and then he sleeps soundly till morning.

He does have a bit of a thing about the room being totally dark. We replaced the windows recently with German ones with shutters.

He actually used to be worse and now only moans once a month or so.

Much as the thought of a big bed to myself pleases me, I don't think I'll LTB, thanks. smile

Lj8893 Wed 15-Jan-14 04:41:09

My phone light doesn't bother dp. But he does the protests of "I'm not snoring, I haven't even been to sleep" when I nudge him and tell him to stop snoring!!

He also talks in his sleep but that doesn't bother me as its highly amusing!!

AcrossthePond55 Wed 15-Jan-14 04:21:14

God bless the man/woman who invented the CPAP. DH sounded like a 747 at take off. He never got a good night's sleep and we had rows over the book light, the TV, my trying to roll him onto his side (You were snoring. No, I wasn't, I wasn't even asleep. ad infinitum), my tossing and turning because of his buzz-sawing 'keeping him awake'.

NH started having heart palpitations and arrhythmia at night. They suggested a sleep study and he was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea. It took him a couple of weeks to get used to the CPAP, but now he sleeps like a baby and is snore-free. I could run a rock concert with a laser light show and he wouldn't wake up!

Snoring isn't normal and can be a sign of medical problems. If your SO snores, you should suggest they see their doctor.

MrsMook Wed 15-Jan-14 03:52:44

DH's snoring is often bad when he's in a light sleep. When he's in that state, you can tell him to stop snoring and he'll answer back that he isn't.

He's also stupidly sensitive to the hint of streetlight through the curtains on the landing. I need the door open to hear DS2 who still night feeds. Partially shutting the door puts me at risk of bumbling in to it at silly o'clock. Tonight I reap the benefits of him bring away, no snoring, and a lamp on to feed so no squinting at the glare on my tablet.

sykadelic15 Wed 15-Jan-14 02:44:15

Yes you're BU.

When he rouses the light becomes really obvious. He isn't aware he's been asleep and snoring. To him it feels like he hasn't slept at all.

Honestly, sounds to me like he might have a sleeping disorder. If he were truly asleep he wouldn't rouse as often. I suggest a sleep study.

I say this as someone who experienced the same thing before I got my CPAP.

CadleCrap Wed 15-Jan-14 02:37:23

Goldencity1 We must have the same DH - I've never noticed you in bed!grin

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