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to cancel dds swimming lessons to pay for stage school?

(112 Posts)
smuggler Tue 14-Jan-14 15:01:22

Dd is 7 and desperate to start stage school but it's extremely expensive. She's been having swimming lessons for around a year. She's always been extremely water confident, she can swim a length of a full size pool but hasn't got the technique of the strokes quite right. She finds swimming lessons boring and isn't really progressing. I always thought I'd continue with them until she passed all stages so I could be sure she was safe around water. But if she carries on swimming I can't afford stage school. Wibu to swap the activities?

mrsjay Tue 14-Jan-14 17:25:40

i cant swim that well i have never drowned or fell in water I think the ops dd is a strong enough swimmer and anyway anybody can drown doesnt matter how good or grade your swimming is

TallalittletownofBethlehem Tue 14-Jan-14 17:31:51

I wouldn't. DD is just 6 and in stage 4 swimming (she can easily swim 10 lengths but they are now teaching her proper techniques for the strokes - I am actually sitting watching her slog up and down the pool on her back doing breastroke legs).

She also attends stage school - which she loves - but I would 100% drop SS before swimming at this stage. She definitely isn't what I would call 'safe' in the water... and she is quite happy going chest deep in the sea to 'surf'.

Missing out on SS won't kill her, not being safe in the water might. Especially if she is more water confident than she has the skills to back up.

manicinsomniac Tue 14-Jan-14 17:32:49

I would swap them. If your daughter is resentful and unengaged because she wants to be doing a different activity she'll progress more slowly anyway.

Not that many children have swimming lessons past being able to swim. Keep giving her regular exposure to water as a family and she'll continue to swim more strongly as she gets older surely.

MellowAutumn Tue 14-Jan-14 17:39:01

She can swim and will probably improve faster if you swim for fun as a family with enjoyment. At 7 isn't school enough 'have to' activity?

peppinagiro Tue 14-Jan-14 17:42:15

Swop them. My parents forced me to keep going to swimming lessons til I was 12, twice a week. I enjoyed them til I was about your DD's age then they bored me rigid, even when they moved me to different schools. I just stopped trying and coasted, didn't progress, spent the lesson finding ways to skive. I was desperate to do karate but wasn't allowed as the swimming cost too much. Such a PITA. I still hate swimming. I appreciate it's a necessary skill, so my DD is having lessons but I'll stop once she's confident enough tojust go for swims on the weekend with me to keep her stamina up.

WhenWhyWhere Tue 14-Jan-14 17:45:22

As long as you are confident that she is safe in the water then I would let her quit. Maybe, you could comeback to it at a later date to get her to a higher standard.
I let my kids chop and change their extra curricular activities. They had to complete a whole term or whole year depending on the activity. I happily let them drop things they excelled at and take up things that they were, umm, less talented at. I think a lot of parents put too much emphasis on achieving tangible 'targets' rather than just enjoying new activities.
My DS's are at Uni now and are all still doing sports and other extra activities.

cory Tue 14-Jan-14 18:28:07

Can you compromise and find a cheap-ish youth theatre? And take her swimming yourself?

As a foreigner, I find British swimming lessons are very much about technique/preparing for swimming as a sport rather than actual survival/rescue. If you are a confident swimmer yourself you may be able to teach her more useful swimming skills.

Tinkertaylor1 Tue 14-Jan-14 19:02:05

Just because you got to the age of 200 with out drowning,Doesn't mean that everybody else won't either.

How very limiting to have to stay out or only go in the shallow for the rest of your life!

I've taught ladies in their seventies to swim and they said they felt so liberated. What a shame for them to get to that age and had to avoid water for so long or be so careful around it.

I've pulled a toddler up from the deep end when her mother hadn't realised she had wondered takes a split second.

To the people who think there is no need, have you ever tried to swim to the side when you have fallen in water eith all your clothes on? Jeans and jumper, even shorts and t shirts. If you can only swim 25m not efficiently you are going to struggle. If you never needed/ wanted, lived to 200 with out ever going swimming fine but it don't push your limited choice on to your kids .

cory most good pools will offer survival (which briefly gets touched on in the school swimming national curriculum ) or rookie life guard.

5Foot5 Tue 14-Jan-14 20:26:35

How very limiting to have to stay out or only go in the shallow for the rest of your life!

Not limiting at all. I don't particularly want to go in the water because I simply don't enjoy it. The only occasions when I have found it pleasurable are lounging in a Jacuzzi or mineral hot springs.

If you never needed/ wanted, lived to 200 with out ever going swimming fine but it don't push your limited choice on to your kids .

Who said anything about pushing this choice on the kids? The OP would actually be pushing swimming on her reluctant DD if she persists with lessons.

In my own case my DD went to swimming lessons both privately and with school and enjoys it as a leisure activity. Great! But my post was in response to you saying "If you can't swim - you drown!" as if it was an inevitable consequence. It clearly isn't - millions of us non-swimmers live out our natural lives without drowning.

I don't deny it is a useful skill to have but I don't see why it should be given priority over other activities if the child has grasped the basics and is no longer interested. As others have said, she can always come back to it later and she will probably get some lessons through school anyway.

Tinkertaylor1 Tue 14-Jan-14 21:15:58

Not limiting at all. I don't particularly want to go in the water because I simply don't enjoy it. The only occasions when I have found it pleasurable are lounging in a Jacuzzi or mineral hot springs.. Good for you! Unfortunately not every one has access to naice hot springs or jacuzzis!

Maybe I should have said 'if you can't swim and get in danger there is a good fucking chance your going to drown if no one saves your arse for you ' is that better?

And you are limiting people when you dont encourage this skill.

It's not a useful skill - it's a life preserving skill. But hey as long as kids can do jazz hands ! Should look snazzy when shouting for help !

Shente Tue 14-Jan-14 21:36:23

If you force her to go on swimming she is likely to resent it and unlikely to gain much from it anyway. She has good basic skills so why not agree that she can go to stage school but must swim regularly and build up her stamina in the pool away from lessons? I am a poor swimmer and fully intend to ensure my daughter does not follow in my footsteps but I also value her happiness - there are enough things in life she will have to do and as long as she has basic water skills I will be happy that she has a base to build on. I do think there is sometimes a hysteria about swimming, yes you might be in a ship that capsizes but it's pretty unlikely that in that situation swimming will save you, not many ships capsize within a few yards of the shore. if you don't enjoy being in water enough to want to pursue swimming lessons the likelihood is that you won't want to go swimming in water that may have a current or be otherwise dangerous. I know I will be shouted down with this view but I'm with 5foot5.

dixiechick1975 Tue 14-Jan-14 21:54:35

Wont she be going with school soon?

My DD is 7 and goes weekly with school. I stopped her private lessons as soon as she went into year 3 and started going with school.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 14-Jan-14 22:02:27

They go with school for at least a year, there are holidays and of course local leisure centre pools that are free or cheap for dc to build up stamina with what they are learning.
We didn't have endless swimming lessons when we were little. If you can't swim too well, you don't go to near the water grin

WorraLiberty Tue 14-Jan-14 22:04:29

Take her swimming yourself and help her brush up on her strokes

I had no idea hardly anyone teaches their kids to swim any more until I found Mumsnet.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 14-Jan-14 22:05:27


ODFOD with the hysteria.

Tinkertaylor1 Tue 14-Jan-14 22:05:53

shente there is no hysteria about a ship sinking. That's just stupid . The real risk is actually falling in some where by accident fully clothed or getting tired while swimming in larger body's of water with tides, rivers ect.

I teach swimming so know how dangerous it can be . Most lessons last 30 minutes. So not going to be detrimental to her well being hmm

Tinkertaylor1 Tue 14-Jan-14 22:07:28

more ODFOD yourself.

I love hysteria/ hysterical being used when people are talking out of their arses.

saintlyjimjams Tue 14-Jan-14 22:11:19

I think one of the biggest dangers is people over estimating their ability(especially in the sea). Switch to the drama stuff, keep on swimming without lessons and get her surf lifesaving lessons or something in the future if she wants to go back to that.

curlew Tue 14-Jan-14 22:24:34

Tinkertqylor - do you really think that swimming lessons in a heated pool are going to be much help if you fall fully clothed into a dirty, rubbish filled freezing canal? Or if you are caught in flood water, or a tidal rip in the sea?

Shente Tue 14-Jan-14 22:40:12

I'm sorry tinker tailor but I do think there are a lot of potential hazards in life (of which water is undoubtably one) but swimming seems to be the one thing that people seem obsessed with formalised levels and training. Yes it could save your life but the vast majority of people never get into such a situation because they have been taught to understand the hazards posed by water and know to exercise caution around it.

Nerfmother Tue 14-Jan-14 22:43:46

When you say stage school, do you mean weekend lessons or a school? I have never heard of a stage school except for the one in Fame for grown ups confused

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 14-Jan-14 22:50:50

I suspect the op means weekend lessons but there are lots of full time stage/performing arts schools for children in the UK.

Nerfmother Tue 14-Jan-14 23:00:20

Really? I actually thought they didn't exist. Are they all private?

JockTamsonsBairns Tue 14-Jan-14 23:03:17

Under what circumstances could one accidentally fall fully clothed into deep waters? I get that occasionally ships capsize, but like another pp said - would swimming lessons be sufficient in being able to swim several km's ashore?

I'm generally just extra careful not to act the goat around waterfalls / rapids etc, that's served me well up til now.

MellowAutumn Tue 14-Jan-14 23:07:52

Mine do stagecoach every Sunday An hour each of singing, dancing and Acting - expensive but has increased their confidence and public speaking fantastically has also helped with some SN issues - I could not teach them to act dance or sing - Swimming I can do as I expect most adults could can't see the point in lessons past a reasonable competency point unless they want to swim competitively. I do think Life Saving should be taught in School as a standard skill though.

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