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AIBU to just stop talking to her?!

(50 Posts)
RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 22:23:49

I posted a while ago about how my mother had found some new bloke hmm she will ditch me and my LO at the drop of a hat if he calls, demands I run her errands, says she'll see my LO then doesn't.

It's my sisters wedding next month from day 1 they've told me to be honest about being a bridesmaid and the dress, so I did saying it's her wedding I'm overall not bothered whether shes picked me or not, the dress on the other day is shit brown, I personally think it's hideous I'm half-caste and it blends in with me. They constantly make plans regarding this wedding then tell me days before I HAVE to be there whether I have plans or not.
Today I had to go try this dress on, they bitched at me because I hadn't got a bra to wear because they didn't tell me. Then they moaned and bitched because I didn't like it. Which they've known from day 1!

On the way up my mum is texting and driving because her boyfriend text and she has to answer ASAP obviously, she then spills her tea all over her lap because she's trying to drive, drink and text whilst flying down the motorway!

Pissed off was an understatement. She then decides she has to go in this shop that she knows we can't get my LO's pram in, he's already annoyed because he's been sat in this pram for 30 minutes whilst she fanny's about looking at shoes in the wedding dress shop so I couldn't let DC out.
She left us out there for over 30 minutes in the cold, he was crying and freezing so I took him into a shop to get us both warm and she bitches about me for walking off despite the fact she could see my DC crying from inside there shop.

On the way home she continues to text and drive to the point a car is indicating to come in her lane and she's fucking oblivious. She then turns round to me, blames me and pulls in to finish her text. She tells me that I need to "fucking sort it out" I need to understand that she doesn't have to see my DC or look after him despite begging me to let her. (I brought her up on the fact the one time I asked her to look after my DC she said no because she MIGHT be seeing her boyfriend in 3 days time despite the fact she hadn't made them plans yet) she then proceeds to tell me how I'm a shit mum, I have no family and I have no friends. I don't take care of my DC well enough and I'm not responsible at all and I shouldn't speak to her again. We say nothing to each other on the way home and I take my LO out the car backwards in the rain because she refuses to get out so I can get him hmm I say bye to my sister and she turns round to her and goes "don't you love the ignoramus" she then chucks my house keys at me and demands her keys back so I give it to her. We haven't spoken since.

AIBU to just not to bother anymore. She says she'll see me DC but she won't before 6 because she's at work (she's home before then) knowing my DC goes to bed at 6 she is to busy to see him Monday, Wednesday and Thursday because she goes to the gym and the other days she sees her boyfriend.

I'm just fucking fed up with her atm

MrsMoon76 Mon 13-Jan-14 22:47:10

That's just awful. I really wouldn't bother with her, as hard as that might seem, and I wouldn't allow her to see your child either. Is your sister supportive of you?

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 22:55:19

My sister will be okay despite wanting me to talk to her.

She told me I wouldn't be content till I ripped this family apart and I need to get a life. hmm and that she will pick my dc up at the weekend and take him out at the weekend but she doesn't want to see me. She's gone from seeing us 3+ a week to once if I ask her

She has told me before she will take me to court to see my DC.

ArgyMargy Mon 13-Jan-14 23:00:02

You all sound like a load of drama queens to me.

Vatta Mon 13-Jan-14 23:04:14

Doesn't sound like they add anything to your life really. If you head over to the relationship boards there's a lot of advice about going no-contact with family. Maybe it's time just to stop bothering about them.

Icelollycraving Mon 13-Jan-14 23:06:19

Yabu to use the term half caste. The rest of it I couldn't entirely follow I'm afraid.

PumpkinPositive Mon 13-Jan-14 23:06:53

my mum is texting and driving because her boyfriend text and she has to answer ASAP obviously, she then spills her tea all over her lap because she's trying to drive, drink and text whilst flying down the motorway!

To be honest I think this part is worthy of its own thread and trumps any of your other issues by quite a long way. Your mother carries on this way and you won't have to put up with her dramas for much longer. hmm

Custardo Mon 13-Jan-14 23:08:54

its a hard realisation when it comes but some grandmas dont consider their granschildren the be all and end all of their lives

she sounds a hidious mother, and person - but i think that you also need to realise that she has her own life and your children are not a priority in hers

tbh i wouldn't want my children around her

MrsMoon76 Mon 13-Jan-14 23:10:13

She can't take you to court and she can't see your child if you decide she can't.

And why suddenly does she want your child for the weekend? Does it seem likely that she will cancel anyway?

She says she wants no contact so take her at her word. If you can't handle her moods, temper etc then you shouldn't allow her access to your young DS.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 23:10:40

How AIBU to use the term halfe-case
My mother is white my father is black I am halfe-cast..

ddubsgirl Mon 13-Jan-14 23:10:55

grandparents have no rights so let her try to go to court I wouldnt bother with her you said yourself she lets you down all the time why put YOUR child through that?

geologygirl Mon 13-Jan-14 23:12:27

Pls refrain from using the term half-caste.

I would stop soeakting to her....and she wouldn't see my LO either to be honest. You need more positive people around you...and seems like your the punching bag.

Let her boyf have her!

Peekingduck Mon 13-Jan-14 23:12:28

To be honest I wouldn't have got back in the car once she'd stopped and would have made my own way home. I did this with ex-H once. You and your baby could have died.
The rest to me pales into insignificance, but why don't you:
a) Tell her you're not going to be a bridesmaid (ie make up your own mind)
b) Tell her you won't travel in a car with her driving ever again because she could have killed the lot of you last time.

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 23:12:58

I understand she needs her own life don't get me wrong

However she's the first to bitch and moan when my sister stopped seeing her because she got engaged and lived her own life it's now like a totally double standard.

I'm just gonna leave it, she'll text last minute and ask for DC most likely within hours but she can't see him without seeing me hmm

Peekingduck Mon 13-Jan-14 23:13:35

Half caste is considered offensive these days Op, amazing you don't know that being of mixed race yourself.

geologygirl Mon 13-Jan-14 23:15:33

No you are mixed race.

half-caste is a derogatory term (as in the white half is superior /white half is the only part worth anything/you are half a person)

Pls stop using this!

MrsMoon76 Mon 13-Jan-14 23:15:41

How the OP self identifies is surely up to her?

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 23:17:12

Sorry geo
I have always said halfe-cast and to me that is what I am, not mixed race.

ddubsgirl Mon 13-Jan-14 23:18:44

just tell her you have plans so she cant have your child for the weekend

Peekingduck Mon 13-Jan-14 23:21:23

I suggest you look up the definition of "mixed" Op.

mooomeee Mon 13-Jan-14 23:22:11

surely sayings like that are only offensive if some one thinks they are! if the op doesn't think it is then it obviously isn't offensive to her!

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 23:23:11

I know what mixed is however I still class myself has halfe-cast i assume I have a right to call myself what I wish?

Famzilla Mon 13-Jan-14 23:23:16

Your mum sounds toxic and spiteful. You sound afraid of her.

She has no rights to your child.

I think you can identify yourself any way you like.

waltermittymissus Mon 13-Jan-14 23:24:58

Er tell her no?

RalphLaurenLover Mon 13-Jan-14 23:25:35

She can be very spiteful, she didn't speak to my grandparents for about 7 years yet will constantly tell me how they're HER parents and are nothing to do with me and I should be counting myself lucky she took me to see them because she didn't have to hmm

Safe to say I've had enough it will be hard but she doesn't care

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