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to be so upset at turning 40?

(81 Posts)
bebespain Mon 13-Jan-14 18:37:00

I mean nothing is actually any different than when I was 39 but I am utterly distraught at becoming 40 sad

It´s like I can suddenly see all the grey hairs and lines that were there before. Ironically I have had several bouts of illness since my birthday hmm

Even worse is that I feel so old to be a Mum especially given that my youngest is only 14 months old...what was I thinking? She´ll be 11 and I´ll be 50 shock Didn´t I know all this before I had her, of course I did but it is all I can think about now. How come I was able to push it to the back of my mind before...

I honestly feel that all the age is just a number that is spouted is utter bollocks. I don´t want to be old.

Somebody tell me to get a grip

formerbabe Mon 13-Jan-14 18:38:25

OK there are 2 options in life

1. Get old

2. Die young

Count yourself lucky and enjoy your birthday!

Tweenangst Mon 13-Jan-14 18:38:55

Have a grip. You get old...or you die. Enjoy your forties, as much as you will hopefully enjoy your fifties, sixties, seventies etc x

ZingChoirsOfAngels Mon 13-Jan-14 18:45:21

get a gripwink

I'm 39. yesterday I was dancing like crazy to some music on kids' dvd - I felt about 16.

today I'm in pain, I feel sick again (pg) and cold and exhausted and feel about 183.

that's life.
do something that cheers you up - if you died tomorrow you wouldn't want your last day spent being miserable, would you?grin

Finola1step Mon 13-Jan-14 18:46:46

I am turning forty in a few months shock. Not sure how it happened because in my head I am still 28.

I found turning 30 bloody hard. I've said to myself that there is no way I am going to feel like that again about a flipping birthday. Not a chance.

Yes my eyesight isn't what it used to be, nor is my skin. Yes there are wrinkles and I dye my grey hairs (but have been doing this since I was 26!). So I stick two fingers up at being nearly 40 and look forward to the spring and summer and all the loveliness they bring.

Focus on your health and I hope you feel much better soon.

Topseyt Mon 13-Jan-14 18:48:01

Relax about it. We are all getting older. I am 47 now, so my next major birthday will be my 50th. Grey hairs are multiplying, other things are happening (menopause etc.), but that is life.

The passage of time is scary, that is true, but you cannot stop it so you have to embrace it.

I don't want to die young. I hope to get old and remain in reasonable health.

Bowlersarm Mon 13-Jan-14 18:48:10

Oh to be turning 40.

You wouldn't want to be me then OP, just about to turn 50 shock. I have no idea how that has happened. I feel all of about 20.

bebespain Mon 13-Jan-14 18:49:52

Thank You all for being so nice thanks

I feel silly for getting to the grand old age 40 and not considering those two options before wink

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 13-Jan-14 18:50:38

My granny told me as she turned 90 that she still felt like she was in her 20s and got very annoyed that she couldn't do the things she used to do.

Obviously still waiting to grow up!

I'm with you on the 40 thing next week. Not feeling too bad about it. My mum says having a 40 year old child is making her feel old though.

liquoriceandtomatoes Mon 13-Jan-14 18:50:41


I hated turning 40. And yes, I know turning 40 is waaaaaay better than the alternative but I think a wobble (or two) is ok.

Now I'm into my 40s I'm ok and lots of the cliches about confidence etc are true in my case. Am also an older mum but I think as long as we're sprightly in attitude - no issues.

Wobble away.

Chottie Mon 13-Jan-14 18:54:40

40 is nothing, you are still a babe smile

Weelady77 Mon 13-Jan-14 18:57:42

I felt the same turning 30! So god knows what I'll be like turning 40wink

HuiledOlive Mon 13-Jan-14 19:04:04

When you get to 50 and 60 you'll wonder why on earth you thought turning 40 was a big deal

HuiledOlive Mon 13-Jan-14 19:07:05

Btw I'm 40 this year too

tallulah Mon 13-Jan-14 19:07:53

Well I'm 50 and my DD is 6 grin

My other DD will be 28 next month, which seems ridiculously old.

diddl Mon 13-Jan-14 19:08:32

I've just turned 50-tis fabulous!

And as others have said, the alternative is er not turning 40!

LaurieFairyCake Mon 13-Jan-14 19:08:33


It was horrendous turning 40 for me. Ageing SUCKS! Everyone being dead above you SUCKS! Having to be 'grown up', fuck it, it SUCKS big hairy balls!!!

HesterShaw Mon 13-Jan-14 19:10:40

Re the child being 11 when you are 50, think of it this way. Would you rather she wasn't here? Of course not! OP, there are loads of 50 year olds with young children. When I was teaching Year 2, there was a parent who was fifty and her child was seven. She was spry and youthful and fun.

Dye your hair if you like, keep fit, keep active and make the most of your life smile

WorraLiberty Mon 13-Jan-14 19:11:33

Getting old beats the shit out of the alternative

My Sister died a couple of weeks after her 36th Birthday (right out of the blue) and since then, I just can't get down about getting older.

I'm 44 and proud to be so grin

HesterShaw Mon 13-Jan-14 19:12:00

Sorry, the word "spry" sounds like a 70 year old running yoga classes for pensioners. Wrong choice of word grin

MillyONaire Mon 13-Jan-14 19:12:28

I was devastated too. (I am now 42 and still horrified and cannot get over that ancient woman in the mirror) So I am no help to you (also had that OMG response about my youngest who was 3 at the time) and I cannot seem to get past it - a stranger asked my age on the phone the other day and I stuttered over sounded soooo like I was lying but I couldn't bring myself to say 42. My mother thinks I am ridiculous as she is facing 70 (and equally horrified) and wishes she was a young thing of 40! I know the alternative is not grow old so all I'm asking is not to LOOK so horribly old!! Inside I still feel 27.... Happy Birthday bebe

HesterShaw Mon 13-Jan-14 19:12:42

Sorry about your sister, Worra. How awful sad

Lizzylou Mon 13-Jan-14 19:13:36

I was 40 last year, it has been an awesome year for me. I feel all empowered. I have moved house, am hopefully studying to retrain, I just feel more confident in myself and my abilities.
And I now get my hair dyed at the hairdressers.

ivykaty44 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:13:38

be glad you are getting to 40, the more birthdays you have the healthier and luckier you are

clarinetV2 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:14:05

YABU in the strictest sense of the word. Your fear is an irrational, unreasoning one. But hey, we all have things we're irrational about, and getting older is definitely one of them. So your fear is understandable.

However, take it from me, and just about anyone else I've ever spoken for, the 40s can be fabulous. My experience has definitely been that what I've 'lost' in looks and physical energy has been more than compensated for by gains in confidence and generally feeling more at ease with who I am and the choices I've made. Plus I care far less about things that don't matter, and I'm learning not to be quite so thin-skinned regarding what other people think of me. I was apprehensive about turning 40, but it's been upwards all the way. 50 is now looming large, and I say, bring it on!

Meanwhile, as you're getting older and it's gone 7pm, here is a nice cup of brew

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