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My ex refuses to wash the DC school uniform

(60 Posts)
Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 21:39:11

I know I am not BU I need to vent.

Initially friendly separation turned into highly acrimonious divorce once ex had met new "lady".

He point blank refuses to wash the kids uniforms when he has them (6 items of clothing) he's sent it back unwashed saying they have already done their white wash/washing/it's too many clothes/washing machine broken. Although they wash her DDS uniform hmm and send mine (16 and 14 now) back with filthy clothes (he also tells them they have to shower here before they get into his car because they "smell" they still choose to go hmm).

Over the years I have not bothered to push it, but this weekend I was away for the entire weekend and unable to wash their uniforms. DS1 etched his dad Thurs and asked if they could please use their washing machine this weekend to wash their own uniforms. No was the reply we have had this argument before.


Kids had to wash them here quickly and hang them out before he picked them up and he had a go at then for keeping him waiting.

When do they realise what a prick he is and not go?

serin Sun 12-Jan-14 22:05:07

Can't he buy them an extra jumper? (the GIT)

I can see why he is your ex.

wannabestressfree Sun 12-Jan-14 22:06:42

I can't believe
A. People don't read threads
B. People get on their high horse about teenagers doing their own washing. I do the washing in my house because I like things separated and uniform the same size as when it went in the machine. News flash too - I also cook their meals......
Your ex is a knob jockey of the highest order and your children will think that.....

Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 22:07:18

Oh nooooo

He pays maintenance but no way will he pay a penny more.

For Xmas he bought a cooking course for DD that she has asked for. She came home with a massive list of stuff she needed for it hmm

DrNick Sun 12-Jan-14 22:07:37

all mumsnetters think kids over 12 have cars and go to work, I think

Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 22:08:59

They do their washing here sometimes but yes tbh I prefer to do it myself - but they can and do use the machine in these circumstances.

Mellowandfruitful Sun 12-Jan-14 22:09:06

Agreed, they will be thinking the truth about him all right. If he's trying to save water hmm in their shoes I'd be leaving the tap slightly running every time I went to the bathroom. If they make a hot drink, tell them to fill the kettle right to the top every time...

IneedAwittierNickname Sun 12-Jan-14 22:09:16

14 year olds do their own washing? really? Surely that means the machine is never full?
I do everyone's washing here, including ex when he lived here because it meant the machine was always full making it more economical surely?

OP yanbu, your ex is a twunt!

MuttonCadet Sun 12-Jan-14 22:12:50

We get the exact opposite, I have to turn around 2 uniforms overnight, and the kids don't shower at their mums because "it's too expensive".

However we don't want them to go to school smelling, so we do it.

Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 22:17:47

I wish they didn't go.

She "lectures" them about everything and knows fuck all about anything and they hate her.

She bitches about me to the kids calls the police, social care, tax at every given opportunity with no valid reason (makes unfounded allegations against me to everyone - once tried to get me the sack) had me breathalysed in my car with the kids.

I work in a Social Care team obviously and it's all very embarrassing and humiliating.

I wish they would realise and cut him out so that I can sad

BillyBanter Sun 12-Jan-14 22:22:44

Is there no way to take out an injunction out against her for harassment?

Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 22:26:01

No because then the kids wouldn't be able to go and they want to sad

We have a DC3 who isn't his who I posted about a few weeks ago. He brought him up as his own until he was 9 (2 yrs ago) and allowed him to call him dad but cut him out.

I HATE him angry for doing this to the family we agreed to create.

Inertia Sun 12-Jan-14 22:33:31

He sounds awful- doing it to make life more difficult for you but is actually making things hard for his own children. Nasty piece of work, sounds as though the GF is worse. TBH I would report her for harassment if it's ongoing, and Ex can make separate arrangements to see the children.

BillyBanter Sun 12-Jan-14 22:34:41

Did he cut him out when you split or when he got together with his current gf?

RandomMess Sun 12-Jan-14 22:37:42

FGS what a cunt he is. Hopefully they won't bother for much longer!

FruitbatAuntie Sun 12-Jan-14 22:41:55

I'm speechless. What an arsehole!

I can't imagine they will continue to want to go there forever. They will see him for what he truly is. In fact, I'm sure they already do, but probably hope he will change given time.

How can anyone behave like this towards their own flesh and blood? I just don't get it!

Gossipmonster Sun 12-Jan-14 22:42:19

He cut him out two yrs after he met her (had him once a week at her house).

We our divorce went through I was really ill (undergoing serious treatment) and not able to deal with everything (working full time looking after all 3 DC with no extra input from him) promptly so it took longer than it should.

As "revenge" he then refused to do anything he had agreed to do in the statement of arrangements for the children and stopped everything including seeing DC3.

allnewtaketwo Mon 13-Jan-14 07:08:23

Can I just ask, if you can't dry the jumpers overnight and they on have one each, does that mean they were the same unwashed jumper for 5 days running every week ??

Sparklysilversequins Mon 13-Jan-14 07:14:58

He's a first class twat obviously as is his GF.

I'd find a way to get new jumpers though just to take the steam out of this particular situation.

JupiterGentlefly Mon 13-Jan-14 07:18:38

Your point being allnew?

Cybercat Mon 13-Jan-14 07:25:31

He is an areshole I agree but could you change your uniform washing night to say, a thursday, and get the kids to hang them up over the weekend. Surely you can put one radiator on to dry jumpers. I know its a pain in the arse but dont give him the satisfaction.

allnewtaketwo Mon 13-Jan-14 07:29:51

I wasn't asking you Jupiter, I was asking the OP.

Regardless of the exh problem, it sounds a problem in itself that the teenagers are wearing an unwashed jumper for 5 days running. What if they spill something on it on say a Monday? Dies that mean they go to school jumper less on a Tuesday? Never mind the hygiene aspect. The solution would appear to be to buy a spare jumper.

The uniform sounds expensive if you haven't doubled up on items OP, is it a private school?.

CouthyMow Mon 13-Jan-14 07:49:33

That's not expensive for a Secondary uniform. It's about normal. I pay £7 for a pair of fucking PE socks with delivery.

God he's an arse, Gossip.

Tbh, I'd just buy an extra jumper. It's crap, and you shouldn't have to - but you can pass the Y11's jumper down. Not worth the stress on the DC's tbh.

And your Ex in an abusive relationship WILL eventually realise this - it took my Ex 7 years to leave, and he's now realised what a twat he was to his DS1 in that time too.

JupiterGentlefly Mon 13-Jan-14 08:02:36

See allnew you did make your point!

allnewtaketwo Mon 13-Jan-14 08:03:43

hmm it wasn't exactly rocket science, but since you were clearly confused I spelt it out

JupiterGentlefly Mon 13-Jan-14 08:21:40

Someones having a bad day allnew! Never mind we all have our cross to bear! Hope you have a good day and you snap out of it!

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