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request not to buy niece/nephews certain gifts

(52 Posts)
Lissarria Sun 12-Jan-14 20:50:54

went to nieces party, her gift from us was a book. we have now received a message thats worded as if to more people but we get the impression was just for our sole viewing requesting that no one buy their children books or soft toys as with 3 children they have far too many of both of these. we thought this a little rude and that they should be grateful for what they have received.

the 3 children they have at the moment are all very spoilt. they have pretty much everything they could want or ask for so are very hard to buy for, especially as we have limited funds ourselves. for example a couple of years ago one of their kids got a 3ds and a new bike for their birthday(as their current bike was not the right colour although it was the right size and had no problems)

my DH, I and our children love books. in my opinion you can't have too many and they make a great gift especially if you are unsure what else to get. though our children have 1or 2 stories every night for bedtime where as theirs are sat infront of the tv/DVD player in their rooms till they fall asleep.

They never thought about our gifts in the past and we asked them politely if they could please think about what everyone liked and their age when gift buying (we have been given things like toilet brushes and the kids have received used broken toys and things relating to stuff they are actually scared ofand give them nightmares like ghosts and zombies) the price doesn't matter some of the things our kids like the best are really cheap to buy but the person they came from put some thought into it! we always try to choose things they will like

sorry the rant, I really do take things to heart when I shouldn't let them bother me! would like some othe peoples views on this?

Joules68 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:53:07

So you previously also told them what not to buy for your kids?? Is that right?

Liara Sun 12-Jan-14 20:55:09

You told them the things you did not want them to get, they are doing the same.

Just stop buying presents altogether, it's a waste of money and seems to generate more aggro than goodwill imo.

clam Sun 12-Jan-14 20:55:33

Ah! Was about to say YWNBU until I got to the bit about you having said something similar in the past.

PortofinoRevisited Sun 12-Jan-14 20:56:07

Don't bother in future? Or ask for explicit instruction?

Annunziata Sun 12-Jan-14 20:56:39

They never thought about our gifts in the past and we asked them politely if they could please think about what everyone liked and their age when gift buying

It was alright for you to criticise gifts, but not them? YABU. Ask your SIL/ BIL what they want next time.

Janorisa Sun 12-Jan-14 20:57:13

I was going to say what Clam said.

LingDiLong Sun 12-Jan-14 20:57:29

So, you basically told them that their gifts were thoughtless? Their request not to have any more soft toys or books sounds far more polite!

Why don't you knock the present buying on the head completely and just give a voucher/cash or nothing at all seen as you all seem to handle it with such bad grace!

FreakinScaryCaaw Sun 12-Jan-14 20:57:49

Sounds like tit for tat. Do they actually like you?

Joules68 Sun 12-Jan-14 20:57:56

It's weird... On both parts

Just accept the gifts politely and refit/charity shop them

Why were you all judged over the amount of books your dc read compared to them? Doesn't make you a better parent you know

LingDiLong Sun 12-Jan-14 20:59:01

Thinking about this some more it sounds like you're all using the gift buying to get at each other. You think the kids don't read enough books so you buy them some. They presumably thought your toilet could do with a clean so they bought you a bog brush!

Ragusa Sun 12-Jan-14 20:59:04

Are you for real?!?! Dearie me! If so you all spund as bad as eachother!

NotAnotherPackedLunchBox Sun 12-Jan-14 20:59:41

Recorders can be lovely traditional and educational gifts. wink
Someone will probably be along soon to recommend MoonSand. I hear it makes an excellent gift too.

ROARmeow Sun 12-Jan-14 21:00:46

Stick a £5 in a card in future.

Worriedthistimearound Sun 12-Jan-14 21:02:24

Yabu considering you did exactly the same thing.

What you really mean is that you think you're more virtuous because you asked them not to buy plastic tat and they have asked you not to buy books! grin

LessMissAbs Sun 12-Jan-14 21:02:40

Who on earth wouldn't want their children to be bought books?! I don't see that you told them what not to buy previously, but simply suggested they think about what they were buying, which I think would be understandable on being given a toilet brush as a present!

They sound odd. I sympathise, because DH and I bought our 9 year old niece a doll for Christmas. She promptly threw it on the ground, had a tantrum, said she was too old for dolls and she wanted earrings. MIL then took her shopping for earrings...(it was Boxing Day).

lilyaldrin Sun 12-Jan-14 21:02:54

I don't think there's a polite way to say "think about what everyone liked and their age when gift buying" to be honest!

Maybe you should just agree not to exchange gifts? Or to give cash/vouchers instead? No one seems to be getting any pleasure out of it.

PedlarsSpanner Sun 12-Jan-14 21:05:04

They previously gave a toilet brush as a birthday gift?


BillyBanter Sun 12-Jan-14 21:10:59

While their gifts to your sound shitty (no pun intended) and insulting and I think books are a lovely thing to get and I join you in your judginess on many levels, you asked them to change their choices so you can't really complain that they've asked you to change yours.

BrownSauceSandwich Sun 12-Jan-14 21:11:09

Your kids got a ghost as a birthday gift? shock

Jeez, even I wouldn't know where to start with wrapping that. wink

Worriedthistimearound Sun 12-Jan-14 21:12:49

Lessmissabs, the tantrum sounds ridiculous and the parents should gave stepped in and apologised on her behalf. I woypyld be outraged if any of mine behaved like that. Having said all that, I would never dream of buying a doll for a 9yr old! 4yrs would seem doll limit in my view. You didn't deserve that reaction though.

As for books, lovely gifts but with 3 myself we have 3copies of quite a few titles esp the toddler ones. I have bloody Julia Donaldson coming out my ears along with 5 copies of various sizes of the bloody hungry caterpillar.

WooWooOwl Sun 12-Jan-14 21:13:51

It sounds like hard work being in your family.

LingDiLong Sun 12-Jan-14 21:15:55

Depends on the doll surely worried? My DD and a lot of her friends still like Monster High Dolls and the like

HaroldLloyd Sun 12-Jan-14 21:16:25

I am thinking pot, kettle black here sorry OP.

FortyDoorsToNowhere Sun 12-Jan-14 21:16:27

I don't buy books, the DC have loads via gifts. TBH I prefer the library. We go every week so we have new books every week.

It sounds like tit for tat.

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