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...about bathing my new baby?

(199 Posts)
scantilymad Sat 11-Jan-14 21:18:07

I'm a long term lurker but this is my first post.
I am married with one four month old baby. Our baby has silent reflux, a tongue and lip tie that made breastfeeding difficult and I was diagnosed with PND eight weeks after the birth (a score of 19 which according to the HV is pretty high). Anyway, after battling through that little lot, we finally felt like we are getting in to some sort of structure and settling as a family.
My cousin came to visit last night and we shared a bottle of wine and were chatting generally about babies. I mentioned that I sometimes get in the bath with my baby boy in the evening on the days when I remember I haven't had time to bathe or shower for a couple of days and am feeling generally a bit grim. DH never gets home before 8pm so bath, bottle bed are down to me on weekdays.
My cousin looked genuinely shocked when I told her this and asked if I wore a bathing suit when I got in the bath? When I said no, as the point of a bath is to, you know, get clean, she implied it was very weird for me and my son to be naked in the bath together. She also thinks I'm putting him in danger in case I slip and drop him when I'm getting out or that he will drown because the adult bath is too deep. I don't wash my hair or shave or anything in his bath, just sit in it with him.
Sorry this is so long but I genuinely don't know now if I'm doing something inappropriate or dangerous? Am I? Being diagnosed with PND was a massive knock to my confidence and really makes me doubt my instincts/decisions.
Thank you

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 12-Jan-14 14:04:41

Baby's have those things as well

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 12-Jan-14 14:07:30

Ffs me and my 2yo dd bathe together quite a lot. What's inappropriate about it?! We wash, throw water on each other then get out

GlitzAndGiggles Sun 12-Jan-14 14:08:47

It's also impossible for me to have a bath without dd taking her clothes off and trying to climb in. Anyway we have the same bits!

JohnnyBarthes Sun 12-Jan-14 14:09:42

Adult arses and genitalia are sweatier and smellier than babies' ones.

The consensus on MN seems to be that sharing towels or bed linen (so not changing the sheets after another person has used them once) is revolting. People start wailing about poo crumbs (I don't think I have ever seen a poo crumb, but whatever).

Yet sharing a bath with a baby is OK?

fwiw I don't think it's a massive issue, it just surprises me.

Frusso Sun 12-Jan-14 14:10:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frusso Sun 12-Jan-14 14:12:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TalkativeJim Sun 12-Jan-14 14:14:22

You sound like a LOVELY mum. And - a very together person in general. You know you have PND and that that might be skewing your thinking a bit, so instead of taking your cousin's words at face value, you very sensibly ask advice. Even though you know she is probably one stacking cup short of a bathtime set... grin

For the record, I've bathed many a time with ours, as has DH, and as for physical contact - well, we've got one still in bed with us and one who still pops in at night. Nudity optional! And my 4.5 year old DD was bf for so long that she still slips her hand into my top so that she can rest her hand on one of the 'milks' for a bit if she's feeling particularly affectionate.

soontobeburns Sun 12-Jan-14 14:17:13

We had a lack of hot water when I was growing up and shared a bath with my mum until I was about 8.

It hasnt effected me in anyway and its some of my favourite memories of growing up.

tinselkitty Sun 12-Jan-14 14:18:38

I shared a bath with me DD almost everyday until about a month ago. My DH did on days I didn't. Mainly as it was our only chance at a nice warm bath we're both bath addicts!

DD is now 15mo and we only stopped because it's getting a bit cramped now she's big.

Never even crossed my mind that it would be inappropriate. Maybe if she was 13 and we were still sharing a bath, but as a baby?? Your cousins a loon!

JohnnyBarthes Sun 12-Jan-14 14:19:44

ditto soontobe - I used to have my mum's bathwater after her (or vice versa). Maybe that's why I'm so against the notion of sharing my bath with anyone now grin

BlameItOnTheBogey Sun 12-Jan-14 14:22:00

YOur cousin is nuts. I have a 5 years old ad a 3 year old and still get in the bath with them both.

LaGuardia Sun 12-Jan-14 15:33:22

I like my bath too hot to share with DCs. We still co-sleep sometimes only because they are too big to fight.

CHJR Sun 12-Jan-14 17:15:11

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Don't let the baby see your naked breasts either, please. Might scar him for life...
Welcome to motherhood, the land where everything you do is criticised by someone or other!

Kafri Sun 12-Jan-14 17:22:24

Oh my goodness - defo not inappropriate in any way whatsoever. Let's be honest, baby has seen parts of you on his way into the world that no other human being will ever see.

DS had silent reflux as a tiny and I used to shower with him daily. He hated the bath for a short time but the shower really helped calm him so we got in a routine of me having a shower with him then DH would take him to dry/dress him and I would crank up the temp and have a proper shower myself.

He's 1 now and I don't even get to pee in peace these days. Please don't stop bathing with him. It's a lovely bonding time and those days are over all too quickly!!x

hahahahaha sweaty arses! how silly.

miffybun73 Sun 12-Jan-14 17:34:12

YANBU, your cousin on the other hand sounds completely bonkers smile

DrSeuss Sun 12-Jan-14 17:36:06

Isn't it one of the indicators of possible abuse to see sexuality where here is none?

theDudesmummy Sun 12-Jan-14 17:39:33

I bathed with DS all the time when he was little, and still shower with him when we are on holiday (he is 4 now).

MrsWedgeAntilles Sun 12-Jan-14 17:56:21

I haven't read the whole thread but not only did I do this but we had it recommended to us by our ante natal teacher. I had a lot of the problems you had and bathing together was one of the most relaxing, loveliest thing I had with DS. It was one of the only times I experienced the blissed out feeling new mums are supposed to have and DS was at his most chilled out when we were in the bath.
If you and your wee baby are happy with bathing together, just keep going. Your cousin sounds a bit repressed - does it not seem a bit ludicrous to hide your bits from a baby who you gave birth to and breast fed and so probably has got a good look at the whole lot from close up not too long ago.

juniper9 Sun 12-Jan-14 18:19:30

My DD is 3 months old and I've done this loads of times.

I used to feed her sometimes whilst bathing... until she pooed on me shock We both got out sharpish!

BuntyCollocks Sun 12-Jan-14 19:32:19

Your cousin is weird. Dh and I bathe with our dc and have since they were new. Dh showers with both of them on a nightly basis.

domoarigato Sun 12-Jan-14 19:35:51

It's really nice your cousin is being so supportive of you in the light of your PND diagnosis....noooot! She sounds jealous to me. My MIL said stuff like this. Really passive aggressive.

DumSpiroSperHoHoHo Sun 12-Jan-14 19:47:54

When I had my DD her birth was on the traumatic side. The midwives arranged for me and DH to have a bath together with 4 day old DD as a bonding thing.

Based on that I really don't think you've anything to worry about!

DD still occasionally squeezes into the bath with me now and she's 9yo!

ZebraZeebra Sun 12-Jan-14 20:40:59

Love baths with my 14 month old. We've had baths together since he was about 3 weeks old. DH bathes with him regularly. It's lovely skin to skin, bonding time. But then, there's 8 pages all saying the same thing so I hope you are nicely reassured that bathing with your baby is completely normal, and in fact - encouraged smile

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