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...about bathing my new baby?

(199 Posts)
scantilymad Sat 11-Jan-14 21:18:07

I'm a long term lurker but this is my first post.
I am married with one four month old baby. Our baby has silent reflux, a tongue and lip tie that made breastfeeding difficult and I was diagnosed with PND eight weeks after the birth (a score of 19 which according to the HV is pretty high). Anyway, after battling through that little lot, we finally felt like we are getting in to some sort of structure and settling as a family.
My cousin came to visit last night and we shared a bottle of wine and were chatting generally about babies. I mentioned that I sometimes get in the bath with my baby boy in the evening on the days when I remember I haven't had time to bathe or shower for a couple of days and am feeling generally a bit grim. DH never gets home before 8pm so bath, bottle bed are down to me on weekdays.
My cousin looked genuinely shocked when I told her this and asked if I wore a bathing suit when I got in the bath? When I said no, as the point of a bath is to, you know, get clean, she implied it was very weird for me and my son to be naked in the bath together. She also thinks I'm putting him in danger in case I slip and drop him when I'm getting out or that he will drown because the adult bath is too deep. I don't wash my hair or shave or anything in his bath, just sit in it with him.
Sorry this is so long but I genuinely don't know now if I'm doing something inappropriate or dangerous? Am I? Being diagnosed with PND was a massive knock to my confidence and really makes me doubt my instincts/decisions.
Thank you

code brown grin

bella411 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:25:21

I think your cousin is being odd! Sayin you shouldn't have a bath with your baby.

Would she think it weird if you got dressed or undressed in front of baby, my baby often sits on my bed whilst I get dressed in the morning (she is watched and my wardrobe is quite next to the bed so I'm never out of arms distance from her).

Think the slipping remarks are ott as well, many people bathe with their dcs!

gamerchick Sat 11-Jan-14 21:25:24

I don't think I've ever met a mother who hasn't had a bath with their baby...I often plonked them on with their dad as well for 10 minutes peace grin

sillymillyb Sat 11-Jan-14 21:26:11

Bath times together are lovely - keep doing what your doing! My ds is nearly 2 now and we still do it sometimes. Only downside now is that he says "lovely big tummy" then tries to use me as a slide.... It's not quite as relaxing as it used to be!

BagOfBags Sat 11-Jan-14 21:26:23

Just agreeing with everyone else. DS bathed with me till he was about 6 months as he wouldn't go in on his own, he still occasionally comes in the shower with me aged 2.5.

ChristineDaae Sat 11-Jan-14 21:26:30

Oh and in case it's because you have a DS, my DD will still jump in her dads bath too... And an empty cold one if you let her, she does love her baths!

rachyconks Sat 11-Jan-14 21:26:37

I live in total fear of a code brown in a shared bath!

milkingmachine1 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:01

I gave birth to my daughter in a birthing pool and have had loads of baths with her since. This is perfectly natural and not at all dangerous. Your cousin is odd to think it is. Does she have any children? She sounds misguided.

MoreSkyThanWeNeed Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:09

What a weird thing for her to say.
I imagine most people bathe with their babies - I do all the time. Quite frankly, it's easier for me than leaning over the bath.
Yes I worry about slipping, but I'm careful and when I think about it, I've never slipped in the bath, baby or not.
Ignore her. She was judgey and if she knows you have PND, then she was thoughtless.
At risk of sounding like that baby milk advert, you're doing great.

Birdsgottafly Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:20

I haven't had sons, but most of my friends who have, bath with them naked.

They do come out of the bit of you that is different and feed off the other two bits (possibly).

My DH wore swim shorts to bath with our DD's, but that us because toddlers are curious and want to touch anything new (which his pen us would be).

Women are encouraged and should do skin to skin, dads to, but yswim.

Women can BF, so being naked around their sons is different to how's Dad may feel.

Your cousin is wrong, go in your own instincts.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:24

Did this ALL the time! Still do now, sometimes, hop in the bath or shower with the DDs and they are 10 and 7! Fortunately we have a massive bathtub.

Your cousin is both bonkers and unkind - she must know you are struggling, and to make disparaging comments about your parenting skills is extremely unthinking at best and plain mean at worst.

Dambusters Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:36

My favourite memories for the early days are sharing a bath with my baby. Amazing bonding time for you both.

I think your cousin is a little strange for being shocked.

MadameJosephine Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:42

How sad that somebody could think that lovely skin to skin contact with your baby could be somehow Iinappropriate. Its one of the joys of being a parent, enjoy it while it lasts smile

Wilberforce2 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:43

Not weird at all in fact I think she is the weird one! My little boy had colic as a baby and sitting in a warm bath with me really calmed him down, he is 5 now and I still can't shower in peace because he regularly strips off and jumps in with me (nothing wrong with that either)!

HazleNutt Sat 11-Jan-14 21:27:52

Your cousin is odd. You didn't wear a bathing suit when you were giving birth to your baby, of course there's no need to wear one when having a bath.

RunRunRuby Sat 11-Jan-14 21:28:02

Aw that sounds lovely. Babies love skin to skin contact, it's really good for them. It'd be weirder if you were wearing a swimsuit!

WeAreSix Sat 11-Jan-14 21:29:27

Not weird at all.

Ooh how I wish I could do that now! Nothing like a bath and milky cuddles in warm jarmies <swans off into a hazy cloud of luffly memories>

jen2014 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:29:47

Completely normal! My DS is 2 and I've bathed (and showered) with him on many occasions since he was a newborn. When he was tiny DH would pass him to me in the bath, or vice versa. Now we just clamber in together and he loves it as he knows he gets more playtime when one of us (or his older sister) is in with him.
They promote skin to skin contact at birth for a reason!!!

pist Sat 11-Jan-14 21:29:55

Nothing wrong with that, quite the contrary. Skin to skin contact is considered so important with your baby. Forget the prude and keep up the good work!

Not weird at all. Really good bonding for both of you. One of my favourite things to do with my son.

sonlypuppyfat Sat 11-Jan-14 21:30:17

Is there something wrong with your cousin not a normal way to think.

I jumped in the bath with my 22mo Ds tonight, he looked so scrummy and warm I couldn't resist! Your cousin is bonkers!

Dolallytats Sat 11-Jan-14 21:32:01

Sharing a bath with your baby is lovely, your cousin sounds a bit odd.

MikeLitoris Sat 11-Jan-14 21:32:18

Yep, dp and I have ways bathed with dd. She is 3 now and dp has stopped recently as she wouldn't stop talking about his 'tail' and kept grabbing it grin

It is perfectly normal and a great way to bond with your son.

MrsMook Sat 11-Jan-14 21:33:28

YANBU. Im guessing she hasn't heard about how babies are actually born?

skin to skin is great for bonding. I see no issue with nudity until a child decides its an issue and seeks privacy. I recently had my bath hijacked by my 3yr old DS who wanted to join me. While he's comfortable, that's fine. We use communal changing areas for swimming, so it's a normal part of life to us.

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