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to think my friend is a smug and moody?

(35 Posts)
giraffesCantMakeResolutions Sat 11-Jan-14 18:03:29

She is younger than me, we met on a counselling course (!) and she in some ways is a good friend. In other ways she is very know it all about things. And very keen to share the way SHE would do things differently to me despite never having any experience.

eg she always says "I don't do being ill" which I always feel is a dig at my brittle lung condition. I have to go to GP/hospital appointments very often and she also says she hates Drs and "I just wouldn't go" - well you would if you couldn't breathe!

Anyway last night she hung up on me because she was trying to tell me what to do about a situation - I hadn't asked for advice! And she refused to back down. I attend distance learning through Leeds uni once every 6 weeks at an Edinburgh hospital - I live in Glasgow. (Are you confused yet?) It is very intense - 9am-7pm on Friday, 9-5 Saturday and 9-4 Sunday. The rest of the time around these dates I am working full time. Last time I had to go for the weekend I stayed in a B&B and it made things so much easier as driving from Glasgow-EDinburgh in rush hour is no fun! Also the days are physically and emotionally exhausting.

On a normal day I do need to make sure I have time to rest and sleep so my lung condition is very variable. Last time despite staying in the B&B I ended up at Edinburgh OOH one night for additional treatment for lungs - if I hadn't been staying I wouldn't have been able to continue the course.

Friend is telling me I should be driving through and back every day as it "only takes 40 minutes" - well no that depends heavily on WHERE in each city you are going from/to and also on the traffic/road closures etc. And actually the petrol costs of commuting are only slightly less than the B&B costs.

By the second weekend of the course everyone was staying in B&Bs as it is just so draining and full on. Even the most physically fit people decided to stay over.

Friend ended up being so pissed off that I wasn't willing to drive each day, as per her recommendation that she said "Well I am going to bed now and hanging up" and she hung up. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I hadn't asked for any advice at all!

tabulahrasa Sat 11-Jan-14 18:42:06

Yep - or just traffic in general, sometimes the M8 just grinds to a halt for no particular reason.

I wouldn't want to do that commute if I didn't have to and I don't have a health condition.

littleblackno Sat 11-Jan-14 18:46:38

I used to have a friend like this she was a total pita. She used to give me parenting advice, her qualifications for this?.... the married man she was shagging at the time had kids confused
Fortunately she lives some distance away and I contact her occasionally but on my terms, when I feel able to deal with her. I realise that sounds terrible of me but she can be lovely and we have some great times but her last visit to me was such hard work I decided it needed to be on my terms or not at all.

Objection Sat 11-Jan-14 20:09:13

I've changed my mind with the added info.

she sounds like a nutter. avoid.

Andanotherthing123 Sat 11-Jan-14 20:16:16

Bin her, she sounds rubbish. Anyone who can tell someone with an on going health problem they 'don't do illness' is too ridiculous to bother with.

ilovesooty Sat 11-Jan-14 20:21:44

I think whether you want to or should do the commute is irrelevant.
She sounds too much of an ignorant pain to bother with.
I do find myself wondering if anyone has ever challenged her behaviour though.

newyearhere Sat 11-Jan-14 20:22:53

Two things to say to her:

1) Regarding the travel or anything similar that comes up "It's not a competition and I can decide for myself thanks"

2) When she says "I don't do being ill" reply "You're lucky you don't have to"

giraffesCantMakeResolutions Sat 11-Jan-14 22:32:08

You're lucky you don't have to - I LOVE it!

She has told me before "I just wouldn't go"...right well I got brought in via ambulance and was in resus

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot Sat 11-Jan-14 22:55:44

Did you say that her mum tries to rule her life, in the same way she does yours.

If thats so, then shes trying to control yours because she has no control of her own.

My friend has an overbearing mother and in turn is quite overbearing herself.

Its basically passing the behaviour on. I'd learn to ignore it or back away completely.

DroothyNeebor Sat 11-Jan-14 22:56:46

I take it she's never driven Glasgow to Edinburgh, or even done the commute on the train.
40 mins?!!! - she's havering

BlingBang Sat 11-Jan-14 22:58:56

You choose to be her friend, do you actually like her?

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