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To be annoyed and possibly over reacting

(70 Posts)
McPie Sat 11-Jan-14 16:47:30

Db and sil have just came back from a holiday in the US and whilst they managed to be in a warm part they hit a flu epidemic.
She felt the need to come over and say hello while sniffing in the corner full of whatever bugs she picked up over there, most likely flu as she looked like death warmed up and could hardly walk in a straight line!
I am pretty sure my face said it all and the fact I stayed as far away as possible must have made it clear that I was not overly happy that she chose to possibly infect us all.
As soon as she left all the windows were opened to air the room, it's bloody frozen out there too, and I have already copped a couple of vit c in the hope I can escape catching her flu as I have 3 dc to deal with and really don't want to be ill at all.
AIBU to think that if you feel crappy in the way she did then you don't bloody go and visit others and spread it around?

IamInvisible Sat 11-Jan-14 16:49:25

YANBU, and I would imagine quite a few people on the plane will have been infected too.

Silly mare! (Her not you!)

Whatisaweekend Sat 11-Jan-14 16:51:48

YANBU even if it was just a bad cold, let alone proper full on flu (which can put the very young and very old in hospital). She is thoughtless at best and utterly selfish at worst. Why not just wait a bit, pref in bed, before coming to visit?

McPie Sat 11-Jan-14 16:56:34

The visit was just pointless too, nothing she said was of any importance either. Plus the fact she had to drive home alone as her and my brother had fallen out over something to do with money they lost exchanging their dollars worried me slightly.

JoinYourPlayfellows Sat 11-Jan-14 16:58:07


She came to your house and sniffled and you are this worked up about it?

nefertarii Sat 11-Jan-14 17:07:58

Yabu if it was actual flu she wouldn't be out of bed and probably wouldn't have even been allowed on the plane. I fly from the US twice a year and they don't let sick people fly. If it was flu, they would have noticed. Flu isn't just bad cold.

Your kids could catch cold from anyone, anywhere.

ParenthoodJourney Sat 11-Jan-14 17:09:22


Why do people do this!? I tell people to stay away when they are ill! If they come over sick I make them feel unwelcome, because they are! Be ill in your own home, not mine.

Disinfectant !

Sparklysilversequins Sat 11-Jan-14 17:10:44

"I imagine quite a few people on the plane would have been infected too"

confused Should she have not come home then?


thefirstmrsrochester Sat 11-Jan-14 17:15:48

Yabu if it was actual flu she wouldn't be out of bed and probably wouldn't have even been allowed on the plane. I fly from the US twice a year and they don't let sick people fly. If it was flu, they would have noticed. Flu isn't just bad cold.

^ ^ ^^


McPie Sat 11-Jan-14 17:18:45

I really do hope it was just a cold as I can deal with that fine, I would physically be able to take the kids to school myself but I really don't want to have to ask my friend to take the kids for me if I am down with flu, she would in an instant but sil shouldn't have put me in this position at all.
She honestly looked like she would have been on the floor if she wasn't being held up by the wall and staggered to her van when she left. There was no real reason for them to come here to pick up db's van as she admitted he has no work next week!

ll31 Sat 11-Jan-14 17:23:00

You sound so nasty,she'd nothing of interest to say? You sound a joy to know...

Boreoff456 Sat 11-Jan-14 17:29:04

If she drove, or even got out of the's not flu.

McPie Sat 11-Jan-14 17:36:34

ll31 yes I'm just nasty because she chose to bring her bugs into my home for no reason at all. If you think that then fine but how the hell would you feel if the same had happened to you? She said nothing that she could not have put in a text or phoned, why she chose to visit is beyond comprehension as I normally keep my illnesses to myself rather than spread the misery around.
Thanks to those who have reassured me that they would not have let her on the plane with flu or that she wouldn't have been able to get out of bed it gives me some hope.

missmarplestmarymead Sat 11-Jan-14 17:53:42


She should stay at home until better and not take chances with anyone else's health. Selfish and stupid to go about sneezing, sniffing, hawking or coughing. Stay at home and don't spread your germs.

JoinYourPlayfellows Sat 11-Jan-14 19:17:13

"how the hell would you feel if the same had happened to you?"

How would I feel if a human being that was a close family member came for a social call to my home?

Happy to see them, welcoming, you know the usual stuff.

You are being totally over the top about a sniffle and you sound incredibly bitchy about her.

winkywinkola Sat 11-Jan-14 19:24:54

Is this really the sort of thing you get that worked up about?

She had a cold. Life doesn't stop because you have a cold.

If you saw she had the sniffles and you weren't happy, why didn't you ask her to leave?

Boreoff456 Sat 11-Jan-14 19:35:26

Honestly OP why did you ask AIBU if you are so convinced yanbu? I visited my sil and nephew 2 weeks Ago both my kids were recovering from a cold, I can not imagine my sil reacting that at all. She brings my nephew round when he is ill, I wouldn't react like you.

She came, she had a cold, she left. Unless your kids have some additional health issues which means catching a cold could seriously put them at risk, yabu.

As for having no reason. She was picking a van up, whether you think she needed it now or not, there was a reason for her to come. We wanted to get the van.

Boreoff456 Sat 11-Jan-14 19:35:57

'She' wanted to get her van. I hate my ipad

CrapBag Sat 11-Jan-14 19:41:10

yANBU. This would really piss me off too. I know the world doesn't stop for a sniffle but this does seem a bit more than that and it was just unnecessary.

ll31 Sat 11-Jan-14 19:41:27

I think unless you and your family have serious health issues, you are massively overreacting, and being unpleasant about your sil. I would wonder if you have some anxiety or anger issues fron your over reaction.
I'd have welcomed her and been pleasant

Topseyt Sat 11-Jan-14 19:44:47

I have only had proper flu a couple of times in my life, and literally could hardly move. I definitely would never have gone out or driven or anything.

I doubt she had flu, and you are probably overreacting.

Icelollycraving Sat 11-Jan-14 19:58:20

If there is something I've missed such as you having compromised immunity then yanbu. If not,you sound completely ott & in this thread not hugely pleasant.

McPie Sat 11-Jan-14 20:26:49

It was my brothers van that was being picked up not hers and he could easily have got the bus here so there really was no need for her not to have been in her bed.
She doesn't have kids yet so probably doesn't realise how miserable they get when ill or how hard it is to look after when you yourself are ill. I personally would not think of inflicting illness of any form on anyone at all no matter who they are!

Boreoff456 Sat 11-Jan-14 21:00:31

She didn't need to bee in bed. It's clearly not flu, if she came out for her dhs van when she didn't need too.

Anyway OP as I said yabu, she doesn't have flu. She has a cold. Obviously you can't/ don't want to be told that. I hope your kids don't get sick.

JoinYourPlayfellows Sat 11-Jan-14 21:06:44

"I personally would not think of inflicting illness of any form on anyone at all no matter who they are!"

Ah I see, so you never leave your home at all ever.

That makes more sense.

Obviously if you never have any contact with other humans to avoid inflicting illness on them it's easy to understand why you were so freaked out that a person came into your home.

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