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To be furious with dd for 'lending' her friend expensive clothes which I paid for!

(49 Posts)
wowzah Sat 04-Jan-14 22:36:09

Namely a Jack Wills hoody I treated her to recently, I suspect that it isn't even a 'lend' more likely a swap, yes it was hers to give however this item in particulair was a special and somewhat extravagant treat and one which I won't be repeating! angry

TheFabulousIdiot Sat 04-Jan-14 22:38:35

Never heard of jack wills. Would it matter so much if it was George from Asda? <shrugs>

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 04-Jan-14 22:39:28

Can you/get her to call up friend/mother and get it back?

NatashaBee Sat 04-Jan-14 22:40:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

penguinplease Sat 04-Jan-14 22:40:54

I would be furious. Get it back !

wowzah Sat 04-Jan-14 22:43:45

Thefabulousidiot The cost is a factor but it's more the lack of respect for her things.

Funkyboldribena She will be walking to her friends first thing tomorrow to get it back! I'm now wondering if there is anything else...

WorraLiberty Sat 04-Jan-14 22:47:09

How old is she?

If she's a teenager then lending/borrowing clothes is perfectly normal

Or it was in my day anyway << Old gimmer >>

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Sat 04-Jan-14 22:48:14

yes it was hers to give

Then let her. It's either hers, or yours.

WooWooOwl Sat 04-Jan-14 22:50:11

What did she swap for? She might have got a good deal.

Skrifa Sat 04-Jan-14 22:57:12

She can give what she likes. Her clothes. If she has swapped it for something stupid, se can learn from it.

My friend's 10yo told my (14yo) DS to shop at Jack Wills, because that's where Harry Styles goes, apparently hmm grin

mercibucket Sat 04-Jan-14 23:08:01

depends what she swapped it for grin

let her just buy her own stuff with a clothes allowance from now on and she will probably value things more

ITCouldBeWorse Sat 04-Jan-14 23:10:37

Yes it matters it is JW at £50 rather than asda at £10.

Unless she has swapped it for a small but reliable hatchback I'd be really pissy too.

I have tried converting the cost into my hours at work (after tax and NI) but mine are not quite sure of the link between earning and spending.

backwardpossom Sat 04-Jan-14 23:12:28

I did this with my two best friends all the time. If we lived closer, I probably still would.

Weller Sat 04-Jan-14 23:14:49

It would depend on the circumstances for me, DDs group of friend most I would not mind if they share clothes but two of her friends are a little sneaky and can take advantage of DD and a few of her other friends by borrowing (taking) their things.
I don't believe teenagers' clothes are theirs to give away even if given as a gift, the same as their phones, computers etc.

cozietoesie Sat 04-Jan-14 23:15:03

She may not yet have learned how to say 'No' to a direct request from a friend. This could be a useful experience for her.

Whoknowswhocares Sat 04-Jan-14 23:17:39

How will she learn respect for her things though?
By something she loves getting lost/damaged/kept by a friend who has no vested interest in caring for her stuff maybe?

NoComet Sat 04-Jan-14 23:18:49

I would be furious and wonder what she was up to.

I never did get to the bottom of the dress. DD2 about 7 lost her sun dress, girl next door appears some time later wearing the same dress saying her DM bought it in the sale (H&M, so entirely plausible), but....

Flat broke and somewhat dysfunctional family, I wasn't going to ask because I suspect DD2 may have given it her or at least loaned it.

DamnBamboo Sat 04-Jan-14 23:20:23

I don't think that expensive items of clothing for a child, paid for by a parent, are the child's to give away.

That is insane.

If my eldest gave away his expensive hoodies, I would get them back sharpish and have strong words.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 04-Jan-14 23:21:05

She says she has loaned it to her friend OP, so just ask her to get it back.

My sisters and I often borrowed and loaned out our clothes in our teens. I think it is quite common amongst teenage girls.

TheMaw Sat 04-Jan-14 23:22:11

I would be absolutely livid, they're stupidly expensive. Is there any malice behind the other girl having it, maybe? Just seems like an extravagent thing to give away.

MistyB Sat 04-Jan-14 23:24:41

Oh god, I have all this to come. I try very very hard to bite my tongue when feckless 9 year old looses nice tops that he has chosen but I have chosen to fork out for and I have failed to label properly. (I fail BTW a d express my displeasure!).

I would be upset if an extravagant present I had bought was 'lent'.

MistyB Sat 04-Jan-14 23:25:59

Ah, I have just read upthread, perhaps she has swapped for a small but reliable hatchback, old off until you find out......

backwardpossom Sat 04-Jan-14 23:26:28

<shrugs> Livid? Life's too short to be livid over a hoodie, no matter how expensive it is.

This kind of reminds me of my friend's outrage that her 4 year old DS had ripped his Ralph Lauren jacket... hmm

MollyHooper Sat 04-Jan-14 23:27:27

Most of my teenage phone calls began with "Can I borrow your..." or "Do you have my..."

I thought that was normal?

teenagetantrums Sat 04-Jan-14 23:36:23

My teenage daughter is always borrowing/lending clothes, i don't get to stressed about it.

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