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Am I bu to not want to go to inlaws?-yep its me again!!

(123 Posts)
Ladyglamalot Fri 03-Jan-14 23:51:05

Basic backstory-we have gone to inlaws for dinner every sunday for past 20 years!! I had a meltdown last year and said no more.

Dh sulked massively because I refused to host his parents for xmas. We went down a few days before xmas even though we all had a bug. Mil and fil got said bug and have been ill since.

Mil phoned today to ask dh if we are still going to dinner tomorrow-she also told him she was at the hospital today as she has been so poorly(she has some underlying health issues but is also a huge hypochondriac).

I told dh we should not go if mil is so ill-he is insisting we go as "we can't let her down"hmm

Am I bu to tell the pair of them to fuck off?

goonyagoodthing Fri 03-Jan-14 23:52:38

Send him off himself.

Clobbered Fri 03-Jan-14 23:55:06

Why on earth did you go when you all had a bug? That's just asking for trouble, and I think you do sort of owe them one for inflicting that on them. Go this time and then you can not go for a while perhaps?

Ladyglamalot Fri 03-Jan-14 23:58:33

Because dh insisted clobbered-as "we can't let her down". He went down last week too-I refused and the dcs did'nt want to go. His mum was ill in bed and fil was'nt too great either but they still insisted he go down!

I did point out tonight that it was madness to go down when mil so poorly and that we don't want to get bug again but no apparently we have to go listen to mil whinge onhmm

ProphetOfDoom Sat 04-Jan-14 00:00:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiberalLibertine Sat 04-Jan-14 00:03:23

You took a bug round to your PILS who already have health issues?? Why?

LiberalLibertine Sat 04-Jan-14 00:04:25

Sorry x-post.

Do you get on with them?

cees Sat 04-Jan-14 00:06:47

You are a grown up, just say no. Visit by all means but when it suits you and decline dinner if you prefer to get your own.

Springreturns Sat 04-Jan-14 00:07:13

Oh well done for not hosting Christmas. Not going this weekend sounds perfectly sensible too.
If I remember it was every Sunday no exceptions for years? (Ive nc since last thread)

sooperdooper Sat 04-Jan-14 00:11:15

Every sunday for 20 years?? For the love of god why have you done it for so long?

stayanotherday Sat 04-Jan-14 00:29:08


DoYouNeedAWahhmbulance Sat 04-Jan-14 00:33:41

YANBU you should tell your DH that you're not going to keep going round and round in circles about this otherwise it will be never ending

onedev Sat 04-Jan-14 00:35:17

Another YADNBU.

Jux Sat 04-Jan-14 01:07:12

YANBU. Tell him to go on his own. Maybe he can cook lunch for them?

Teeb Sat 04-Jan-14 01:08:02

He has his free will, you have yours. You don't want to go then don't go. He wants to go, he's free to.

RandyRudolf Sat 04-Jan-14 01:09:02

He can go on his own, you're not joined at the hip. Tell him to get a grip wink

YouTheCat Sat 04-Jan-14 01:10:16

Ladyglam, have you name changed as sounds very familiar.

Tell your dh he can take himself and stay home with the kids.

ohfourfoxache Sat 04-Jan-14 02:53:19

Er, yanbu. If he insists on going and ends up I'll again then you should probably pack him off to his dp's until he is fully recovered - you may as well keep the lurgy contained wink

Shitehawke Sat 04-Jan-14 07:07:33

So, after putting your foot down.....did anything actually change op?

JennyOnAPlate Sat 04-Jan-14 07:18:20

Dh insisted? He can't insist that you do anything. Are you afraid of him?

TravellingToad Sat 04-Jan-14 07:28:01

Don't pander to the OP

She has been asking the same question for years and then ignores all the advice. She still goes every Sunday.

Just wasting people's time now OP. You've had the answer ten times over. YANBU. Grow some balls. You've been told already!

daisychain01 Sat 04-Jan-14 07:28:20

Just put it off until you are all feeling better from bugs etc. if PIL cant deal with that decision like adults, surely that is their problem.

daisychain01 Sat 04-Jan-14 07:29:44

Why keep asking the same question, expecting a different answer?

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 04-Jan-14 08:09:42

Genuinely...WHY do you HAVE to go?

His parents, send him alone if they are all so desperate to see each other.

Jux Sat 04-Jan-14 10:55:23

OP, are you unable to say no to your h? Why?

Having put your foot down over Xmas (well done) keep it firmly down and just say no. It's silly anyway to keep visiting each other when one or other is ill. You need to isolate the bug, not spread it. Look what's already happened because you went when you were ill. It is against all sense. Is your h very controlling? Will he punish you if you don't go?

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