The other night my DP said we've been invited to one of his very good old friend's weddings in the south of france in August next year. Our (first) baby is due on July 2nd but obviously could be late so our baby will be tiny and I think we'll still be getting into the swing of being new parents (and me being a new Mum, hopefully breastfeeding etc).
So, I said "Oh ok, well maybe we could go, depending on how the baby is doing, how I'm feeling after the birth etc, and depending on if we can afford it at the time" and he was like "Yeah, or maybe I can just go for a few days" as if that wasn't a big deal....like he was a completely separate entity and not part of the new 'family'. I don't know if I'm being ultra-sensitive because of pregnancy hormones but my immediate reaction was "Er, no.... I don't want to be left at home with the baby whilst you go to a wedding in the south of france!" .....As in...I want us to be a team/a family - either we all go together or not at all.
Obviously I may feel differently when the baby comes - ie. more confident, and could maybe manage with some help from my Mum for a few days whilst he is away. But I heard that your emotions will be up and down after the birth, and I will maybe still be bleeding a bit or recovering? But it's more that I don't want to feel that he's just checked out of his responsibility as a new Dad & I don't know why he'd want to miss 3 or 4 days of our new baby's life (as in, it won't be newborn forever and we should cherish the first few months). At the moment I feel like he's being a bit irresponsible to think it'd be no problem for him to go on his own...I felt like he was having a bit of a 'single guy' attitude - as in not putting his new baby and me, a new mum, as the first priority. But rather it's more important that he has fun at his friend's wedding. Am I being unreasonable ? Is it normal for the new Dad to go and do things separately from his new little family so early on? We could go and visit his friends when the baby is a bit older....It's just so soon after the birth..
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My DP thinks we should go to a wedding abroad when our baby will be 1 month old...
178 replies
eepie · 03/01/2014 21:57
OP posts:
HorraceTheOtter ·
03/01/2014 22:06
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