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to be disappointed my friend hasn't made me bridesmaid?

(108 Posts)
splasheeny Fri 03-Jan-14 20:01:24

I fear I am.

My very good friend was my only bridesmaid when I got married a few years ago. We have remained good friends, though I do now see her far less, as she has moved away. We still talk on the phone a few times a week.

She got engaged recently, and I have tried to call her to congratulate etc but haven't really had a chance to talk much.

She posted a blog on facebook about her wedding, and in it she said that she had picked her bridesmaids. I have to say that it did sadden me, but I think most of all it was that I found out in this way. I just thought that maybe she could have called me and said that she was sorry but she was unable to have me as bridesmaid.. I don't know.

Just so I'm not accused of drip feeding: It will be a big wedding (big budget), and she is having four bridesmaids. No falling outs at all.

QuintessentialShadows Thu 16-Jan-14 11:58:21

I rather have some gorgeous dogs as bridesmaids, to be honest. Like two Afghan Hounds!

benid Thu 16-Jan-14 13:26:07

It is her wedding day. You got to do it your way on your own wedding day.

This ^^.

splasheeny Thu 16-Jan-14 20:10:41

I don't disagree that its her day and therefor her choice, but its the way that she has gone about things that has annoyed me (or more precisely the blog!).

I have blocked alerts from her on facebook.

It isn't a no child wedding btw. Just an 'only special children' wedding.

When I was thinking about having my daughter christened I even asked her to be godmother. We didn't go ahead with the christening for various reasons, but this just feels like a bit of a slap in the face.

hallowisitmeyourelookingfor Thu 16-Jan-14 21:41:35

splash let it go. You're upset about not being asked to be a bridesmaid. Your DD is not invited. As the wedding falls on her birthday/weekend you can't leave her.
You've sent a nice card, if I were you, I'd send a nice wedding card and that's that. Seems like the friendship has run its course.
Though it's obviously come as a bolt out of the blue for you? Anyway, she sounds like she's going to get horrendously bridezilla with a wedding blog - so self indulgent!

splasheeny Thu 16-Jan-14 21:57:00

Hallow yes it did. I thought we were good friends. I want us to still be good friends, but I don't really see her wanting the same.

This wedding will be nowhere near where I live, and entail taking time off work, travelling, staying overnight etc. I don't really see how feasible that would be now.

hallowisitmeyourelookingfor Thu 16-Jan-14 22:37:25

It sort of seems like she's cutting you out, or in the process of trying to cut you out tbh, if she felt you were as close a friend as you think of her, she would be far more receptive to you.
I think you should decide how best to move on from the friendship. If she gets in touch down the line to rekindle things and you still want that, then great, but her actions speak volumes atm, and they're screaming that she wants to pull away. Sorry if that seems blunt or harsh, it's really not meant to, but as an outsider, I can see you being left hanging for a while.

anotherrandomusername Fri 17-Jan-14 00:18:57

Well, as it's your dd's birthday you have the perfect excuse to decline the invitation.

I think it's a bit iffy that she'd expect you to ditch your dd's birthday for her wedding anyway - are they on the same day?

Yeah, I'd leave it to her to make contact for a while, see how much the friendship means to her...

ComposHat Fri 17-Jan-14 07:20:31

Yep someone else I know does a weekly wedding blog. Every fucking week for eighteen months. I have become mildly obsessed with reading it. Banal and narrsasistic that it could be republished as a Diary of a Nobody for the generation meets bridezila.

To be honest when I get a wedding invite and I haven't been asked to do anything other than turn up, I breathe a sigh of relief. Doubly so if the bride is self absorbed enough to be blogging about it. It smacks of self importance and idds are you'd get sucked up into the absurd traonwreck of it all.

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